No, I don't take drugs other than an occasional beer or wine.
I understand what I am saying sounds odd. To be honest, it sounds strange to me too. My mind has never been able to get a handle on it.
j
JamesThomas
JoinedPosts by JamesThomas
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95
First & Last, One-time post
by journey-on ini have been lurking for quite some time now on jwd.
my story is pretty much just like everyone else's, "only the names have been changed".
in reading your posts, i have both laughed and cried till tears ran down my cheeks.
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95
First & Last, One-time post
by journey-on ini have been lurking for quite some time now on jwd.
my story is pretty much just like everyone else's, "only the names have been changed".
in reading your posts, i have both laughed and cried till tears ran down my cheeks.
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JamesThomas
Journey:
it doesn't negate the fact that your sister is still not with you. You still have that empty hole in your life where once there was a friend/companion/confidante/playmate/sister. You may be able to deal with it on the terms of which you speak, but..........???
Look around, the universe expresses infinitely, with no limitations as to good or bad. Everything just IS, and whether it is seen through the eyes of a seemingly broken and fragmented human-being, or through eyes which realize oneness with it all, it goes on.
When innate wholeness and unity is realized, complacency to the suffering in the world does not set in. There is still anger and pain, sorrow and sadness, depression and joy...all these things probably felt even deeper than before. Life goes on. The universe expresses.
The difference is that closer than all the activity and circumstance of life, there is the unimaginable and vast pristine-purity of conscious-awareness (certainly what the word holy points to), the Life which gives life to all life and which holds and embraces it all equally. This can be clearly seen, more clearly than any understanding before, that this is what you truly are, and what is the foundational essence and reality of all existence. There is a oneness and wholeness that all exist in and as. This realization moves to the forefront, it is most significant and real. Now, at the very same time the universe continues to express infinitely. There is murder. There is rape. There is birth, and there is death. There are stars exploding, and beauty and wonder beyond imagination.
When true wholeness is known within you, your beloved sister will likely continue her ways, or not. HOWEVER, whatever the "life circumstance" , more real than all phenominal expression, so close as to be what you truly are (closer even than everything you have ever believed yourself to be), is the pristine peace and wholeness which accepts all life's expressions, no matter its shape or form. Your true Identity, is not loving, it is LOVE. So completely pure and unconditional as to be beyond the minds imagination and thought process.
Words fail. I can not explain it. It can not be intellectually known and expressed as objective things can be. It has to be seen. It has to be lived. The good news is, you do not have to earn it, or go some where to get it. You have it. It just needs to be realized. You are IT.
j
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95
First & Last, One-time post
by journey-on ini have been lurking for quite some time now on jwd.
my story is pretty much just like everyone else's, "only the names have been changed".
in reading your posts, i have both laughed and cried till tears ran down my cheeks.
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JamesThomas
Choosing Life:
And James-just where do you get your ideas from? I understand that beliefs interfere with making honest and open connections. Any books you like to read? How does a person not have any beliefs?
In our practical day to day lives beliefs are helpful. I better believe that if I step in the path of a speeding truck there will be shit to pay. However, when it comes to the desire to meet with the bottomless depths of reality and our own foundational Identity, it's very important to see that beliefs (interpretive concepts of the mind) as valuable as they are, are of no value here. The mind inherently breaks things into conceptual pieces that it may get a grasp or sense of things. But this mental process of disuniting and cutting into understandable portions actually blinds consciousness to the immediate and present Wholeness that all phenomena exist within and as.
So, beliefs about our ultimate truth and significance need to be seen for the empty vessels that they are, and relinquished. This means we need to see that like thoughts and beliefs about a tree, are not a tree, all thoughts and beliefs about "self" and universe, "God" and "Divinity" (for me these words point to genuine Reality, and not some mind generated fragments or deities) are not the actuality we seek. That said, it is generally very difficult to let go of cherished beliefs about our "self" and our personal gods. One needs to be very brave, or perhaps "insane" to pull the rug out from under themselves.
Relinquishing beliefs leaves an openness. When all that is believed about self and other, is absent, there is still the presence of what IS. So, we silently investigate into the most close, intimate and immediate sense of being and existing. Everything believed about self and other, may be a lie, but existence is real. Dive into the pool of silent be-ing, and see what pearls and wonder can be found there.
jgnat:
JamesThomas, is it not just as dogmatic to insist that your way is the only way to freedom? I think you've diverted this thread with your own soapbox.
Yes, in the attempts to answer people, it seems I have hijacked this thread. I am uncomfortable about that and apologize for it.
As far as dogma, I am not asking anyone to believe anything, rather acutely and thoroughly investigate for themselves. All I am saying is what some other fellow once said:
"The Kingdom of God, is within you."
j
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95
First & Last, One-time post
by journey-on ini have been lurking for quite some time now on jwd.
my story is pretty much just like everyone else's, "only the names have been changed".
in reading your posts, i have both laughed and cried till tears ran down my cheeks.
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JamesThomas
I'm not a religious person and I have no beliefs in a god. What that means is I have no preconceived ideas which limit the Divine to some other place and time.
Rather than read a book like the Bible which subtracts significance and wholeness from the universe and places it in a deity, I have chosen to acutely delve into the reality of being and existing within the most intimate and immediate sense of aliveness here and now. I have seen that thoughts and beliefs can only reduce and circumscribe the Divine down to a thing or person. So I harbor no beliefs or thoughts about God, other than when I make my foolish and feeble attempts at explaining.
I am not saying I am God. In fact I have said I of myself am truly, truly nothing. What the word G-O-D points to, however, is without beginning and without end, and so is the foundational reality of all existence.
If you want to get pissy, why not yell at Christians for reducing God to a tiny thing? That's what I do.
j
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95
First & Last, One-time post
by journey-on ini have been lurking for quite some time now on jwd.
my story is pretty much just like everyone else's, "only the names have been changed".
in reading your posts, i have both laughed and cried till tears ran down my cheeks.
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JamesThomas
Good analogy.
In similar wording, what I am saying is that rather than wait on a god so tiny and limited as to be absent which our minds create, look deeper into our own immediate and intimate sense of being and existing for the Divine wholeness which is our true foundation.
The life raft is here. What ya going to do with it?
j
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95
First & Last, One-time post
by journey-on ini have been lurking for quite some time now on jwd.
my story is pretty much just like everyone else's, "only the names have been changed".
in reading your posts, i have both laughed and cried till tears ran down my cheeks.
-
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JamesThomas
Your argument with me would make sense if I took something and gave nothing.
However, I have been attempting to point to the one realisation which heals all wounds, and that is our intrinsic wholeness. That which joins us all at a deeper and more significant level than our seeming separation, disunity and beliefs.
You want to see that as taking away hope. Then that's how you see it.
j
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95
First & Last, One-time post
by journey-on ini have been lurking for quite some time now on jwd.
my story is pretty much just like everyone else's, "only the names have been changed".
in reading your posts, i have both laughed and cried till tears ran down my cheeks.
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JamesThomas
MsMcDucket:
I guess my point is "never take away a person's hope".
Pointing to what unites us, what is pristinely whole and complete, rather than what seems broken and which divides us, is taking away a persons hope? Is this what you are saying? Or am I totally misunderstanding? Do you mean like, let's say: you're drowning, and I jump in the water and pull you to shore; so in a way I have taken away your hope for survival, because now you're safe and hope is unnecessary? Is that what you mean? Are we not coming to value the mental activity of hope over the reality that we are hoping for? Are we identifying so much with our seeming fragmentation and brokenness that the thought of innate wholeness is a threat to our survival?
j
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95
First & Last, One-time post
by journey-on ini have been lurking for quite some time now on jwd.
my story is pretty much just like everyone else's, "only the names have been changed".
in reading your posts, i have both laughed and cried till tears ran down my cheeks.
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JamesThomas
MQ:
I also understand that part of the journey to healing includes stages of healing. Anger, bargaining, guilt, grief, etc. are all a part of that journey to healing and to well-being. We cannot get to point Z without passing through points C through Y, as far as I know.
Yes, I agree, this seems to be the common way of things.
What I have seen is that the mind continually weaves a conceptual identity which it refers to as "self". Because of this, too often we come to identify with the "healing" process, and the perceived "brokenness" becomes the focus until the day we die. So, what I generally attempt to do is get directly to the point. The point being that there is, right now, right here, an underlying reality of Self, which is whole, unbroken, and complete. An untainted wholesomeness which is united with all existence. There is no reason to not clearly see and realize this now, other than perhaps the beliefs that we need to do some thing first. We don't need to earn, or travel to where and what we already truly are. It just needs to be seen.
So, MQ, I don't disagree with you, I just attempt to point to the unifying wholeness which already IS, rather than the broken fragmentation and separation we believe to be. We generally have more than enough people in our lives who will support and reinforce the brokenness. I try not to be one of them.
RAF, thank you.
MsMcDucket: Yes, I can come across as a judgmental SOB sometimes. This subject, and the suffering I see around me, I take very seriously. Sometimes I just want to scream: Stop the madness, and rest in what unites us, rather than giving non-stop attention to what divides us. Honestly, I do not see myself as any better or higher than the lowliest and most vile of men. In fact, I of myself am absolutely nothing....except for perhaps -- a fool.
It may help to observe the mind, and observe how it weaves a story about what you believe "me" to be. I am not that. Now watch as it weaves the story and identity of "you". What silently sees the story? Is it the story? Are you truly what you believe yourself to be?
j
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95
First & Last, One-time post
by journey-on ini have been lurking for quite some time now on jwd.
my story is pretty much just like everyone else's, "only the names have been changed".
in reading your posts, i have both laughed and cried till tears ran down my cheeks.
-
-
JamesThomas
I slip occasionally back into my "old way" of thinking and observing.
Yes, we all do; and it is the heat of emotional pain and suffering which is a warning alarm that we are back in the old way of interpreting the world.
I'm glad you understand and have the vision to see that there needs to be a radical shift of awareness out of the judgmental good and bad, me verses them thought patterns if there is going to be real healing.
Losing our loved ones to the JWs is very tragic. Yet, it is such tragedy that can motivate us to look deeper and find that which is whole and unbroken.
I wish you the very best on your journey.
RAF, you're a dear. I'm think'n about taken the next bus to France.
j
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95
First & Last, One-time post
by journey-on ini have been lurking for quite some time now on jwd.
my story is pretty much just like everyone else's, "only the names have been changed".
in reading your posts, i have both laughed and cried till tears ran down my cheeks.
-
-
JamesThomas
Journey:
So, what would you, James Thomas, do if the sister you grew up with, played with, shared a bed and room with, and loved deeply, did this to you?
I have JW sisters too, and do not have to imagine what I would do.
I suggest going to the very root of the problem. Your sisters acts of separation is a disease of humanity. The belief in our isolated and broken selves is known to all of us. But, is it true? Are we really the separate individual "selves" which, tiny and alone exist in a huge threatening universe of other? Or is there something that unites us all. Something that dissolves the walls, misunderstandings and fears of separation?
Use the agony of your broken relationship with your sister to fuel a deep and earnest investigation into the dynamics of your own mind and beyond into the deeper and closer silent sense of being and existing. Discover first hand if you really are the separate and isolated individual that you believe "self" to be. Realize first hand the underlying and unending oneness which unites everything and everyone. See that within is not a loving person, but the actuality of Love itself. A love that loves because there is no separate other to not love.
We can not change others; but we can change ourselves. We can truly look upon others and know no separation at all. Not in an egotistical way, but rather as if we have dissolved and there is just the wholeness of life and conscious existence.
This is a radical way of course. It sounds crazy. But this is what I have done with the pain and agony. I have used is as a reason to look beyond the minds beliefs and interpritations and really see reality.
This does not mean your sister will change her ways. it only means that her beliefs and acts of separation, will not affect the unity and oneness you live and know. The untouched purity of our true identity is not effected by life's turmoils and situations.
Perhaps if i put it this way it will be easier to understand: What the word G-O-D points to, is not so small as to be separate or absent. It is the foundational reality of all existence, and is the underlying uniting principle of your true identity; and that of all existence. But, you have to see it for yourself.
j