I have been lurking for quite some time now on JWD. My story is pretty much just like everyone else's, "only the names have been changed". In reading your posts, I have both laughed and cried till tears ran down my cheeks. I have been impressed with the thoroughness and intelligence displayed here in exposing this org for what it really is. I see how some of you use humor to deal with the frustration and pain caused by their policies. I recently entered a "new phase" of my deep contemplation of JW's and their ability to treat their own family members with such venomous cruelty. We all know they are programmed to believe this is what Jehovah expects. We all know the scriptures they use to justify it. We all know the phraseology they use to announce their decision to avoid you like the plague. We all know that it's an exercise in futility to try to reason and debate anything with them. We all know they are brainwashed to the max and they refuse to see it. Those of us who were raised in it, know all of the above like we know our ABC's. But, after prayerful contemplation, here is a letter I wrote to my fanatical JW sister. I never mailed it, but I believe deep down inside that I have hit the nail on the head as to why some of our family members are able to shun us to the extent they do. If any of you have had this same thought, I would like to know:
Dear Sis,
I wonder if you know how much I love you. I wonder if you know how much it hurts when you say you love us (me and our brother) but then display actions that deny love.
Love is not words...love is so much deeper than merely saying, "I love you, but...".
If you really read 1 Cor. 13: 1-3, you realize that all kinds of things are done in the name of love. There can be an appearance of love. You can say, "Look what I've done in the name of love." But love actually has a personality that dwells within the "temple", the person. The bible tells us what God is--what his nature is. We are made of flesh and blood, but God's nature is Love. Love lives and exists as God within us.
Sis, you say you love the organization, the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of Jehovah's Witnesses. You say you believe their predictions and teachings and you faithfully go out in service once or twice a week for an hour or two. But, Sis, if you really loved it...really...you would have entered the full-time pioneer service a long time ago. The witness literature is full of experiences of couples, even couples with children who made the sacrifices necessary to serve where the need is great or enter the pioneer work. You don't need all the material things you have strived for: the Cadillacs, the SUV's, the crew cab pickup, the add-ons for your house, the fine furnishings, the self-pampering trips to the nail and beauty salons, the expensive cruises, fine jewelry, eating at fine restaurants all the time, the lavish gift giving, big retirement savings, and the list goes on and on.
You see, Sis, I have it figured out. It's easier for you to get your "theocratic" boost by doing the easy things like shunning me and our brother because we choose to worship God in the way our hearts tell us is right. That's easier for you to do than sacrifice all the above material things to serve Jehovah full-time. Now that's the hard route. So, rather than give up your material life, live simply in the service where the need is great, or as a full-time pioneer, you do what's easiest for you. Now, you can pat yourself on the back because you are making "a tremendous sacrifice" in shunning your own flesh and blood. You can feel theocratic because you've convinced yourself that doing this is hard for you. We both know it's not that hard for you. What would really be hard for you, Sis, is giving up so much of your material life to serve Jehovah. Now that's the thing that you can't do. You want the finer things too much...you want the job with its financial security. Deep down, you aren't really sure that the witnesses have it right. they've been predicting for 125 years that the world is coming to an end soon and only the witnesses are going to survive. So you play it safe, although you really don't know for sure. Just in case, you're going to hold on to the material world and to "prove" you're theocratic, you will sacrifice your own flesh and blood brother and sister, convincing yourself that it's the "hardest thing you could ever have to do." If you honestly think about it, you know I'm right. But, you don't like for your conscience to hurt, so you will justify your actions and inactions some way. But, believe me, Sis, someday, you will have to account for your lack of love...real honest-to-God love. Then you can stand before Him and say, "But didn't I give up my flesh and blood for you!" Don't think He won't see right through that. But, guess what! I do love you and always will. I'm always here for you. My love your you is never-ending and faithful. We are family. Call me if you ever need me for anything. Love you always.
_______________________
Jdubs are so "works" oriented that they judge their theocraticness (is that a word?!) by how many mags they place, how regular they are in attending meetings, how many hours they put in field service, etc. Most can't measure up because you can never do enough. There's always more you should be doing "for Jehovah"...meaning the WTBTS! But, if you do domething so horrendous like shunning your own flesh and blood, then you can feel "oh, so superior". Now you can finally convince yourself that you are doing enough for Jehovah. Now you can continue your materialistic pursuits, do what you have to do in the congregation, but going that extra mile is now accomplished by shunning your flesh and blood. Now you can feel truly theocratic!
I've thought about the practice of disfellowshipping and I've come to the conclusion that that in and of itself isn't necessarily a bad thing. If someone is practicing...and that's the keyword...practicing immorality and causing dissension, then I see nothing wrong with removing their names as publishers and disfellowshipping them from the org. What I think is so wrong is the act of shunning. If one wants to leave the org because they no longer believe it is God's channel to man, then let them dissassociate themselves. But to shun them is just plain wrong!! No natural affection there!
The lives this practice has ruined have amassed up to the heavens. I firmly believe they are going to have to stand in judgment for this one day, or toward the end of their lives it will eat at their soul and gnaw at their conscience for what they did to their God-given flesh and blood. Right now, they can stay busy in the JW pursuits and keep their minds occupied with that drivel. But, some day, they will have to come face to face with what they did to their own and hopefully it will tear at their heart and soul like their choice to shun us has torn at ours.
Thank you for letting me "shout out" my opinion. I needed that.