I knew what I was In for when I fell for Sarah.Unfortunatly, I am a stubborn jackass. Believe me, I wish I could move on, find someone else, awaken from this nightmare, but my heart just won't allow me to yet. I can be patient, just need some positive reinforcement to keep me going. By the way, the ring I gave her wasn't an engagement ring. It was just a very expensive token of affection.
mackey
JoinedPosts by mackey
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25
Feel Like Cryin'
by mackey inwell, my best friend sarah, the love of my life, has deemed me a bad association.
just when i thought i could get her out those bastards sucked her right back in.
i know by starting this thread i'm beggin' for a flaming, but this is very serious and need some support and this is the only place that i can get it.
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25
Feel Like Cryin'
by mackey inwell, my best friend sarah, the love of my life, has deemed me a bad association.
just when i thought i could get her out those bastards sucked her right back in.
i know by starting this thread i'm beggin' for a flaming, but this is very serious and need some support and this is the only place that i can get it.
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mackey
Thanks for the quotes U_R. They were some of the several hundred that I have piled up on my desk. I was going to go to where she works today and leave a letter in her car. It basically says that I am sorry for causing her to lose her trust in me and to forgive me. Do you or anyone else out there think It would be wise to send some WT quotes to her. It's all from her own literature. I just don't want to push her away any farther. If thats possible. Oh man, I just realized It's Valentines day.
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25
Feel Like Cryin'
by mackey inwell, my best friend sarah, the love of my life, has deemed me a bad association.
just when i thought i could get her out those bastards sucked her right back in.
i know by starting this thread i'm beggin' for a flaming, but this is very serious and need some support and this is the only place that i can get it.
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mackey
I just wanted to clarify something. Sarah and I aren't married.I want to marry her and raise a family. I am trying to get her out even If I can't marry her. And thanks Ravyn. I've done a lifetimes worth of crying today.
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25
Feel Like Cryin'
by mackey inwell, my best friend sarah, the love of my life, has deemed me a bad association.
just when i thought i could get her out those bastards sucked her right back in.
i know by starting this thread i'm beggin' for a flaming, but this is very serious and need some support and this is the only place that i can get it.
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mackey
I'm very sorry for your loss GoldenGirl. I know you will be together again someday. Though It pales in comparison to losing your husband In some ways I feel like my best friend died.And in a way part of me died. I love her that much. The WTS has destroyed so many innocent lives.
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25
Feel Like Cryin'
by mackey inwell, my best friend sarah, the love of my life, has deemed me a bad association.
just when i thought i could get her out those bastards sucked her right back in.
i know by starting this thread i'm beggin' for a flaming, but this is very serious and need some support and this is the only place that i can get it.
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mackey
Well, my best friend Sarah, The love of my life, has deemed me a bad association. Just when I thought I could get her out those bastards sucked her right back in. I know by starting this thread I'm beggin' for a flaming, but this is very serious and need some support and this is the only place that I can get it. I am partly to blame for her mistrust in me. I unknowingly put a lot of pressure on her to help me understand her beliefs. I gave her C of C a couple weeks ago and she gave it back, along with a ring I spent my last dime on to buy her. She never read the book and probably never will and that frustrates the hell out of me because if she had only read it, she'd be free. I would have finally had a wife and a mother to our children. I know It takes more than a book. I have a two foot high stack of quotes and false prophecies and doctrinal flip-flops on my desk. I have more than enough evidence and knowledge to prove these a-holes ain't the "truth". I am so angry right now I feel like driving my truck through the front door of the kingdom hall right in the middle of a meeting. How can you turn away from someone who loves you because of their beliefs. Apparently when you are a brainwashed zombie, It's quite easy. It's also easy to ignore their pain and concern. I'm in pain? Must be the work of SATAN. I'm concerned? I must be trying to manipulate her thinking to seduce her to the dark side. Can you feel it, can you feel the pain I'm in? Sarah sure as hell ( or the grave) can't. The woman I love is only twenty minutes away, and I can't go to her, can't hold her or tell her I love her. She just doesn't get It. I have spent hundreds of hours and hundreds of dollars to arm myself with the knowledge to free her. I even lost my job over this ( I worked with her) because this was more important. This has actually taken a physical toll on me. I can't sleep, can't eat, can't function as a normal human being. I know I sound obsessive, but I love her and always will. Anyone who has been there would understand. I cannot give up on this, she means too much to me, she's made me a better person. The woman I love is a prisoner to fear and guilt, her mind controled by a bunch of lying manipulative bastards. She is very vulnerable and It is only a matter of time before someone tries to take advantage of that. I sometimes wish I could give up, but my heart will not allow It. Unlike a witness, I trust my heart and let It guide me. It follows no rules nor has restrictions as to when It is used. Quitting is not an option, Patience is. I am 27 years old and have searched many years for someone like Sarah. I can't give up hope. though her mind is not her own, the woman I love, my best friend, my future, is in their somewhere. I know my chances are slim, but I have to keep trying. I need as much support as anyone can offer. Without It I have no chance.
Edited by - mackey on 13 February 2003 23:34:38
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9
What Now?
by mackey ini gave my best friend crisis of conscience two weeks ago and she said she probably won't read it.
i hardly have had any contact over the past month because i was fired from where we work.
with every day that passes i worry more and more.
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mackey
I gave my best friend Crisis Of Conscience two weeks ago and she said she probably won't read it. I hardly have had any contact over the past month because I was fired from where we work. With every day that passes I worry more and more. That damn book is my only hope of opening her eyes. The more I learn about what she's involved with, the more desperate I become. I watched the cbc program about child abuse and had nightmares about it. It's agonizing to know what I know and not be able to share It with her. I try to be patient and " wait it out", but It is becoming very hard. I know to much to stop trying. All she has to do is open that book. What do I do now?, wait?
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mackey
" Honey I shrunk the dubs"
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mackey
" now how am I gonna wipe my ass with this"??
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8
Is It Okay To Play Dirty?
by mackey inwhen it can free someone from the org?
the reason i ask is that i want to get my friend out without scaring her away.
after reading steven hassans books i thought about the following.. i could tell her about someone i knew who became a moonie and talk to her about their practices and how they control their members.
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mackey
Maybe I'ts desperation and the fear of losing her that causes me to think like this.The past few months have been very trying for me and to be honest with you I'm very afraid of what she's involved with and will do whatever it takes to make her aware of what's going on.
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8
Is It Okay To Play Dirty?
by mackey inwhen it can free someone from the org?
the reason i ask is that i want to get my friend out without scaring her away.
after reading steven hassans books i thought about the following.. i could tell her about someone i knew who became a moonie and talk to her about their practices and how they control their members.
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mackey
When It can free someone from the org? The reason I ask is that I want to get my friend out without scaring her away. After reading Steven Hassans Books I Thought about the following.
I could tell her about someone I knew who became a moonie and talk to her about their practices and how they control their members. And without being confrontaional I could get her to see the similarities with her mindset. Maybe, just maybe something will "click" in her mind and get her thinking. I don't really like the idea of lying to someone, but on the other hand the WTS has lied to her most of her life. Again, It's just a thought.