Posts by berylblue

hello, new member here.. i registered a couple of years ago, but my initial experiences here were not of the warm/fuzzy variety, which must have been what i needed at the time; so, i left.

recenty, a friend gently suggested that i might want to give interacting here a second try.. so's i don't have to type it twice, i offer here a hyperlink to my member profile.. although one might reasonably be named "cruithne" - especially if one is irish or scottish - it is not my real name.

well, of course it is my real name, in that i choose to be known by it.

berylblue

WELCOME

97

MY SWAN SONG

by northern girl in

jw
friends

about seven weeks ago i posted here for the first time.

in that post i said i'd like to be reinstated but felt it likely wouldn't happen because the shunning was too much for me.

well, my prayers have been answered and i am reinstated.

berylblue

FUTHERMORE (and no apologies for hijacking the thread), I am no longer going to be the understanding, over-analyzing patient nice girl when it comes to people who dick me over.

So there.

97

MY SWAN SONG

by northern girl in

jw
friends

about seven weeks ago i posted here for the first time.

in that post i said i'd like to be reinstated but felt it likely wouldn't happen because the shunning was too much for me.

well, my prayers have been answered and i am reinstated.

berylblue

This has turned into quite the thread.
NG, thanks for the acknowledgement. Best wishes.

Once again, NG has gotten what she wanted. The attention she never got at the KH. Or probably anywhere else, for that matter. I don't believe for one minute that, in the brief time she has posted here, she has managed to quit smoking and go to enough meetings to be reinstated. For I remember, early on, that she stated she wasn't attending meetings very often, and was still smoking. Correct me if I'm wrong. I'm sure someone will. ... If there is a congregation which reinstates persons a few short months after they commited their last "sin", I'd like to know which one. NG will get no wishes from me, good, bad or indifferent. For the first time in my life, I refuse to be the "nice" girl and just swallow my hurt and anger. She hurt me. Period. End of story.

97

MY SWAN SONG

by northern girl in

jw
friends

about seven weeks ago i posted here for the first time.

in that post i said i'd like to be reinstated but felt it likely wouldn't happen because the shunning was too much for me.

well, my prayers have been answered and i am reinstated.

berylblue

A proper elder can see the true heart condition of someone.

Is she kidding?

136

...but I happen to like the JWs/WT.....

by ScoobySnax in

jw
friends

jehovah's witnesses.

the organisation.

i love 'em both still.

berylblue

Scooby, precious, I don't mean to be harsh. I just stated I can understand how Hamas feels.

I LIKE you. I dont' want to see you get hurt again. That's all.

The anger in some of us comes from the pain we've experienced at the hands of the WTS.

I don't think it's really directed at you, although I can't speak for anyone else but myself.

Funny, as far as I'm concerned NG can go back, she was only playing with us. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

You, on the other hand... I dont' think you are playing with us. True, I'm an idiot, but I don't think you are.

Rosemarie

136

...but I happen to like the JWs/WT.....

by ScoobySnax in

jw
friends

jehovah's witnesses.

the organisation.

i love 'em both still.

berylblue

You know for some people the decision to leave is quick. They make a decision or take an action that places them on the outside. It might not be easy but it is relatively quick
For others the process is slower. Some will find that an examination pushes them towards a closer dependancy on life-long teachings. Others will find that it pushes them clearly away from the WTS and its teachings.

This is true.

Since I was DF in 1994, I still believed. I was tormented by my "sin" of smoking, but something kept me from quitting and seeking reinstatement.

I realize now I hated most of it. The rigidity, the ludicrous interpretation of scripture, the hypocrisy, the lack of love.

True, a few showed, once in a while, some concern for me. But it never lasted.

And why?

Maybe it was me. Maybe not. I think that most were kept so busy banging on doors and underlining Watchtowers that they had no time to help a depressed one, much less an elderly woman or an infirm old man. If you can't count your time...why bother?

I realize now I was seething in anger at the treatment I got, but much more so the total lack of love, friendship, understanding and acceptance of my daughters. That hurt the most.

I came here in February. I had a lot of questions. I got a lot of answers. I received a lot of loving help.

Still I had doubts. Suppose the "truth" was the truth?

Ray Franz' book ended that for me.

INow, i August, I think I am starting to recover. It is a slow recovery. True, I had been DF and inactive for years. But until February, I had no clue about how utterly falacious most of the doctrines and beliefs I had been force fed were. Not to mention the lies, the UN, the Silent Lambs....it goes on and on.

MAKE SURE OF ALL THINGS, Scoob. HOLD FAST TO WHAT IS FINE.

The WTS is, in no way, shape or form, "fine". Some good, yes, but fine? Hardly. There is something better out there, something pure and honest. With no sacrificing of my psyche to please some old men with delusions of importance. I hope to find it some day.

I'm off the fence, but it did take a few months.

Still, I can understand why Hamas said what he said. Some of the honest, candid sentiments expressed here were often painful, but they were what I needed.

PLEASE Scooby, read CoC before you go back.

I am NOT an agent of Satan trying to corrupt you. Yes, there are some kind persons at the KH, and yes, the assemblies can be nice but in reality, is it not only because such assemblies are HEAVILY POLICED? Try to do something untoward at an assembly...THEN you will get the "attention" you seek. The same at the KH. If you don't fit the mold, you had damned well better or you will be in the back room so fast it will make your book bag spin. And don't show any individuality, much less creativity. It doesn't fit in with the "program". I

Tell me this isn't worse than mind control? It is murder of an innocent's spirit.

My brain did not need that kind of washing.

I don't mean to be harsh. I had to believe the lie, because SOME of it IS true. I had to believe, because my life sucked, and I dearly wanted a better one. I swallowed it all, or at least tried to. Truth is, I gagged on most of it. But I forced it down me anyway, because I wanted to see my dead mother again. And my children live forever.

In time, I learned to beat down most every nagging doubt I had.

Guess what? THE TRUTH HAS SET ME FREE FROM THE "TRUTH"

I no longer have to swallow it hook, line and sinker.

If you don't believe it all, with all your heart, please think twice before getting involved. Yes, some of what they teach IS true....and this is a decision only you can make.

Sorry, lots of half-formed thoughts tonight.

Rosemarie

I hope some of this made sense.