I find it interesting to see the differences between me and you guys and can only conclude that we did not share the same experiences.
gingerbread
I think some of the ideas expressed here - through Corboy and 1009 - are the 'new' jehovah's witness.
They're still involved because of family and friends. They pick and choose what they want to participate in. They are selective about their associates in the congregation. They have doubts and questions and know it's better to keep this to themselves. They stick with the big 'doctrines' and rules ( blood, neutrality, meeting attendance, regular field service, etc.) but ignore the 'little' stuff. It's no biggie to drink too much, watch 'bad' movies or listen to 'debasing' music, have a 'worldly' girl or boy friend (secret), etc. Just so you show up for service the next morning. They pose as ones 'reaching out' for congregational responsibility. They pioneer (and live at home) so they don't have to get a job. They volunteer for building and remodelling projects. They always have their Watchtower and Jeremiah book underlined.
The 'new' Jehovah's Witness is about appearances. Looking good. Looking right.
I like the label 'new', but can only refer to myself here. I did pioneer for many years, served as MF, including in a foreign language congregation. I did not have close JW-relatives (father DF, mother inactive and an halfsister that I've seen about 10 times in my life). I did have some friends, but for me they weren't a motive to be an active JW. I indeed was very selective with my friends: all of them were elders/MF's, but were somewhat critical like me. I did have a spouse, who I finally left.
'Doubts and questions'? I agreed on some points, and disagreed on other points. I had a lot of questions, but could find my own answers. Why look up to others for answers if you can find them yourself? I did my own Biblestudy, a lot! I used some of the tools of the WT, but had bookcases filled with translations, dictionaries and commentaries. No doubts though: I drew my own conclusions.
I agreed on the bloodissue, partly with neutrality, completely with the meeting attendance and partly with field service (I prefered that to be modernized). I also agreed on most of the moral standpoints.
Was all that for appearances? For who? I was almost totally independent. I just wanted to serve Jehovah in the organisation that I believed was closest to the Bible.