Lin:
Thank you for the wonderful letter. Your fiance is a very lucky guy!
Best of luck with your marriage and with the healing process.
in-awe-out
inaweout
JoinedPosts by inaweout
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18
When is it really over...................???
by inaweout ini am a newcomer to this site, and a curious one at that.. i have been dating a guy who was / is to some degree, a jw.
although he no longer attends meetings, and does not share jw's beliefs, he is active in other ways.
for example, he is active on this site; he spends a good deal of time referencing his past life as a jw; and, he gets very angry (but not towards me) every time he hears or thinks about the jw's.
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18
When is it really over...................???
by inaweout ini am a newcomer to this site, and a curious one at that.. i have been dating a guy who was / is to some degree, a jw.
although he no longer attends meetings, and does not share jw's beliefs, he is active in other ways.
for example, he is active on this site; he spends a good deal of time referencing his past life as a jw; and, he gets very angry (but not towards me) every time he hears or thinks about the jw's.
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inaweout
Thank you to all that viewed and especially to those who replied.
This experience is a work in progress for you as well as for those who are going through it, although the journey is via a different form.
Many of your responses were helpful and supportive.
Others were informative and maybe a little 'enlightening' as the one referenced below. Enlightening to the realization of the level of ignorance I represent as a 'worldly' person. To some degree, I am thankful; but because I am involved in an ex-JW, who I would like to spend the next several years by his side, I need to become much more educated as to what my role should be and what level of support he needs or would like from me.
You intimated that people who have had this experience will never lead happy and successful lives or have the same in relationships. It seems to me that you are being somewhat naive. Your comment seems indicative more of someone who is not prepared to be involved with a person who has such deep and resounding issues. Quite frankly, you may not have the maturity and the patience to go the distance with this fellow. It's too bad that you seem to condemn the person recovering from victimization just because you can't relate to the experience. It may turn out that the experience works to smooth some of your boyfriend's rough edges, and creates a deeply empathetic, warmly affectionate and loving fella. Or not. Patience has it's rewards, but they're only for the worthy.
Lastly, the response below is the one that is the most descriptive and identifiable to me. Probably because it's the one that hits closest to home. I wonder if the snowflakes will ever appear as though they are the same (just flakes of snow) or will they always be viewed as different.
Some can run, some walk, some linger, how angry or happy one is at every part of that journey will be as different as snow flakes.
Thank you all again for sharing with me your thoughts, comments, and experiences.
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18
When is it really over...................???
by inaweout ini am a newcomer to this site, and a curious one at that.. i have been dating a guy who was / is to some degree, a jw.
although he no longer attends meetings, and does not share jw's beliefs, he is active in other ways.
for example, he is active on this site; he spends a good deal of time referencing his past life as a jw; and, he gets very angry (but not towards me) every time he hears or thinks about the jw's.
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inaweout
I am a newcomer to this site, and a curious one at that.
I have been dating a guy who was / is to some degree, a JW. Although he no longer attends meetings, and does not share JW's beliefs, he is active in other ways. For example, he is active on this site; he spends a good deal of time referencing his past life as a JW; and, he gets very angry (but not towards me) every time he hears or thinks about the JW's.
Although I have never been a JW, nor will I ever fully understand the meaning and/or purpose of the JW beliefs, I have done some research and albeit unsubstantiated, I think it's a forum for people who may have had some difficult times, perhaps lonely, naive, and extremely vulnerable. I think when reality sets in and they no longer are able to be 'brainwashed', members and their families are so deeply involved that it's nearly impossible to break free and be guilt free. A member that finds their way out, and regains their independence, is snubbed by everyone who continues to believe in the JW philosophy and ultimately loses touch will all friends and family. A hardship that is, to many ex-JW's, just as unbearable. Irony: You are doomed if you do and doomed if you do not!
I often wonder........... Does a JW ever really move on? If so, what is the average timeframe for the healing process to be completed?
Thank you for your time.