Hi dear asortafairytale,
I come from war stricken country. I saw there a lot of cruelty and human suffering. I asked myself why all these things happen? This experience changed my opinion about world we live in. I searched for God and answers he can only answer. I never read Bible neither we had it available in socialistic country. However, I always believed there is a God and there is Jesus Christ. One of my relatives brought me some magazines of Jehovah' Witnesses and I thought that they answered many of my questions. I guess I was an easy target then because I had little experience with Christian teachings and Bible. In meantime I moved to America to find a better life here. I always thought it is my obligation toward God to go to Jehovah's Witness congragation. I thought they will teach me right and offer me some kind of spiritual shelter from the suffering of this world. However, I soon found out from couple of unpleasant incidents that how they represent themselves in magazines and reality are two different things. I was studying Bible with two women from the congragation. When I started to go to the meetings I was suprised by the behavior of some of the members there. I found out in the way how they treated me that they are NOT true Christians and Jehova's people as they label themeselves. They were very judmental, snoby, mocking, hypocrites, very controlling and unforgiving. Even though my moral standards were high (I came from very patriarchal country) they always found some flaws in me. I asked myself are those qualities they showed me realy fruits of the Holy Spirit? God is a loving spirit and forgiving nothing like JW's. I had to leave them before my baptism. I couldn't stand their controlling attitude and hypocrasy anymore. I felt deeply depressed and abandoned by God. I tried a suicide which was a big mistake. Everybody in the hospital wondered how I survived. I think God was at my side. Still I feel uncomfortable when I think about JW's. Sometimes I even think that God does't love me anymore even though I love him with all my heart. I would like your mother to understand that God doesn't have anything to do with JW. She has a wounded heart because many teachings of JW's program person to feel abandoned by God and that she doesn't have alternative choice. Bible was not written for the JW's but for all people of the good will who respect and love Jesus Christ and God. Satan want us to think that God is unforgiving and cruel as JW's are.
Edited by - spring on 21 November 2002 10:40:36