Posts by blackout

12

All in my mind

by JH in

jw
friends

how do you visualize a year?

in my mind, i see a year as a sphere, where january is on top, and july in on the bottom.

january 1st---------on top of the sphere.

blackout

Me too I see it as a wavey line with summer at the peaks and winter at the troughs.

33

i don't know if this subject has been touched on before - i didn't know what section to put it under.. i have to go to the meeting this sunday - basically emotional blackmail by my husband (long story).

i have suffered from panic attacks in the past.

when i don't go to the meetings, and my family do, i get very panicky and breathless.

blackout

Dear Rebel

I feel for you so much, I have panic attacks too at the kingdom hall, it is the reason I stopped going to meetings in the first place, then I found this BB and found out about all the wrong things that have happened in the org.

Go to a psychologist and they can give you some information on what to do in a panic attack and how to controll it, give the information to your husband, he needs to understand what you are going through, a psychiatrist will also be beneficial as they will give you medication which is non-addictive and will help a lot.

I wish I could help you more. When I used to go to the hall and felt an attack coming on I would go out and sit on the steps or go for a walk. I would do breathing exercises breathing in for a count of six out for ten. Concentrate on different counts of time say 5 breaths for the above count, then 5 breaths for a count of ten in and 14 out etc.

Panic attacks are very common in people who feel they have no control over their choices. Taking more control of your life CAN help. Having support from others IS vital, find a support person, even a counselor can be good.

Love and supportive positive thoughts from me

27

Please help me save my marriage - URGENT

by happyout in

i am fighting to save my marriage, and the person i seem to be fighting against is my husband.

a little background, we had a rough time dating, because he had a hard time being faithful.

i caught him cheating three times, and left him, but he kept asking for forgiveness, promising to change, and i bought into it.

blackout

I just reread your post and something else comes across from it to me,

You need to CARE for yourself. Give yourself some time off, take a short holiday, just one night if you want to, go to a resort or health spa. Get a baby sitter for the weekend if you need to. Also sometimes say, Im not cooking or doing housework today. Buy takeaway and let the dishes sit for one day, it wont hurt anyone. Then go take a bath with nice smelly bath salts.

These are things you NEED to do for yourself, its import to tell yourself that YOU matter.

Hope this helps and it works out for you.

27

Please help me save my marriage - URGENT

by happyout in

i am fighting to save my marriage, and the person i seem to be fighting against is my husband.

a little background, we had a rough time dating, because he had a hard time being faithful.

i caught him cheating three times, and left him, but he kept asking for forgiveness, promising to change, and i bought into it.

blackout

I think the most important question to ask yourself is

Do you love him?

Then:

Is there more good than bad in the relationship?

If you love him and there is more good than bad it is a relationship worth working at. Dont give up too easy. Going by what you have said of him, my husband should leave me because our relationship is the same as you have described but the other way around.

We do have good communication though and that is the key, you must talk about how you feel, but dont blame him, say things like, when this happens I feel like this....

That way he wont get his back up over accusations but will understand how you feel. Also just deal with one issue at a time, or he will feel picked on.

It is worth saving your marriage for your child if there is more good than bad and you still love him.

11

Independant Thought=Demon Influence

by crinklestein in

i used to be a jw for a few years but i left it behind like a pair of dirty underwear.

at first it seemed good.

the people were all very nice and inviting (of course they would be), the teachings seemed logical.

blackout

thanx crinkle and the others, this thread has made me realise a whole lot of stuff I've never even thought about before.

Was that an independant thought then?

14

success after Jws

by rekless in

jw
friends

.

how many here feel that their lives have became better and more successful since they left the org.?.

my life has truly turned 180 degrees...been blessed since i left.. i will not go into details but i am happier, don't have regrets, and there is not any guilt feelings to deal with.

blackout

YEP< YEP<YEP certainly 100% better and much more successfull.

18

Now that you are EXJW, what do you teach your children about Spirituality?

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

most of you know that my youngest son, 8, is a little worry wart.......he is always worrying about death, mainly me dying.

he has been to doctors when he was younger for ptsd, ocd, and addh.

what are you doing in teaching your children spiritual things?

blackout

I have been in a hole about this one, recently the subject of birthdays came up, My son was keen on the idea, my daughter said she would have a party but not a b'day, when I asked her why, she couldn't tell me, but I'm sure it's because she holds some guilt over the very word. This makes me wonder what other dub teachings she holds onto.

I have yet to teach the children anything else, have just said we don't believe that any more, I really feel though that it is time to give them something else to anchor them, or they may decide it is the TRUTH after all. That would just break my heart.

29

Can We Get To Know Each Other Now?

by Big Tex in

jw
friends

i've picked up a little bit about each of you since i've been here, but we're a reclusive little group, aren't we?

well, my picture won't be going up any time soon since i'm a complete internet idiot (tm) and i've registered again completely mucking up the works (sorry simon

perhaps time to start another?

blackout

Hi Ill join in this but dont want to give away too much, suffice to say I'm female in my 30's light brown hair and green eyes, married, 2 kids, brought up in the 'troof'. Did the slow fade over 8 years, not been to a meeting for 4 years. Had recent contact from the elders and hoping our, 'We're right thanks mate' to their 'shepherding call' wont be followed up.

10

Reconciling with Dad

by jws in

as you may or may not know from previous posts, i am a born & raised jw who just drifted away (no df/da) from a father and two sisters who still keep the jw faith.

and while my father is aware that i have "apostate" beliefs of some kind, he prefers not to hear of it.

as a result, we still enjoy each other's company and nobody has "shunned" me.

blackout

Id leave him be, at his age it is probably his only comfort, if you took it away he would feel he had wasted his whole life.

I have the same delemma with my mother, she is in her 50's though, I just dont know what to do, I know she is miserable and has chronic depression, but I dont want to lose her, it would be so bad for her if I was DF. I dont want to be on her conscience.

16

Dont you hate it when you bump into other JW's....

by blackout in

jw
friends

and you dont know if they are still jw's and they aren't sure if you are and there is this awkward chat and then a quick seeya?

or is it just me?

blackout

and you dont know if they are still JW's and they aren't sure if you are and there is this awkward chat and then a quick seeya? Or is it just me?