>>Currently, you are one of three groups:
- (C)urrent JW (baptized)
- (X)-JW (was baptized, now DF'd, DA'd, Shunned, etc.)
- (A)ssociates of either. <<
I think I fit in a different category: R-F-B (Raised Forsaken Believer)
I was raised in a JW family but never got baptized. I was a publisher because it was pretty much required of me since I was 5 years old. I never really agreed with them and always felt shunned by other witness families being dubbed as "bad assosiation".
My dad was an elder, and I really think he always tried to be fair and was sincere. But the other elders hated him because he was not afraid to stand up to them and tell them when they were wrong and that they had man-made rules beyond the bible (e.g. in our congregation, the elders had outlawed dark shirts, if you wore anything darker than a pastel colored dress shirt to the hall, the elders would pull you aside and lecture you).
By the time I was 17 in 1996, the elders started attacking me. I wasn't even doing anything scripturally wrong, but because I had formed a band with some of the other guys in the congregation and we played rock music (which BTW had no questionable lyrics or anything, it just sounded "worldly" to the elders), the elders kept coming to see me and threatening me and telling me that my hair was too long and I needed to get a haircut, which was completely ridiculous to me. I felt like it was none of their business. They told me that I would be publicly disciplined for "loose conduct", which, when I asked them why, their only answer was "because you're influencing the other boys in the congregation with your worldly music". When they asked to meet with me I refused, I had had enough. My dad was also demoted from being an elder because of me, because the elders who hated him finally had a reason to get rid of him. After this I really begin to question their religion, because why was I supposed to believe it was the truth just because I had been born into it. It was like, if I had been born into a family of Flat Earth Society members, does that mean I would have to believe the earth was flat? But nobody would understand my questioning and completely shunned me. So I got sick of it and when I was 19 I moved halfway across the country just to get away. A year later when I decided to move back home I found out strange things that had happened while I was away. Everyone had turned on my dad, the man who in my eyes has always loved Jehovah and was more devoted than any witness I had ever met. They tried to disfellowship him, those same elders who kicked me out for no valid reason, calling like half of the people in the congregation as witnesses against him, for what? For telling the elders that they had gone beyond the scriptures and for having me as his son.
For like a year or two I had completely lost all belief that there was even a god because of the questioning and rethinking this caused me to do. But I am a believer in God now, I don't know if there is a right religion but I do know that I love YHWH and his son. I guess I am still a little confused about everything, I'm 23 now, but I am a believer.