Posts by rebel

33

Panic Attacks

by rebel in

jw
friends

i don't know if this subject has been touched on before - i didn't know what section to put it under.. i have to go to the meeting this sunday - basically emotional blackmail by my husband (long story).

i have suffered from panic attacks in the past.

when i don't go to the meetings, and my family do, i get very panicky and breathless.

rebel

LyinEyes - Thanks for your advice. I will keep my mind occupied so that I don't listen. I am good at letting my mind wander - I do it all the time. I think my husband does worry about me, but only the spiritual side and what will happen to me because I hardly attend any more. He knows how I feel about the whole thing. I have shown him so many things, including the news report from The Guardian on the UN scandal, but he still won't accept that they aren't the true religion.

CC - You are right. I have often wondered how many people suffer from mental illnesses in the JW organisation. I think there was a thread on it before. They put you under so much pressure to do more, conform more and think less. I feel as if I have been suffocated all these years.

I am amazed by the number of people on this board who have suffered with panic attacks. Is it a JW thing, or what?

xxR

33

Panic Attacks

by rebel in

jw
friends

i don't know if this subject has been touched on before - i didn't know what section to put it under.. i have to go to the meeting this sunday - basically emotional blackmail by my husband (long story).

i have suffered from panic attacks in the past.

when i don't go to the meetings, and my family do, i get very panicky and breathless.

rebel

Thanks for all your suggetions, everyone. I shall certainly look into them all.

I know I have to beat this thing because it ruins my life. Ultimately, I know I need to be free of this organisation because it doesn't help me - it never did. It's like some big monster, lurking in the background - It's always there. I am always being asked - "Are you coming to the meeting", even though I have said I don't want to go. I know once I am truly free of all this I will control the attacks much better.

Thank you all for your kindness.

xxR

33

Panic Attacks

by rebel in

jw
friends

i don't know if this subject has been touched on before - i didn't know what section to put it under.. i have to go to the meeting this sunday - basically emotional blackmail by my husband (long story).

i have suffered from panic attacks in the past.

when i don't go to the meetings, and my family do, i get very panicky and breathless.

rebel

SheilaM - God, I am such a mess at the moment!

I will reply another time.

xxR

33

Panic Attacks

by rebel in

jw
friends

i don't know if this subject has been touched on before - i didn't know what section to put it under.. i have to go to the meeting this sunday - basically emotional blackmail by my husband (long story).

i have suffered from panic attacks in the past.

when i don't go to the meetings, and my family do, i get very panicky and breathless.

rebel

I have had the day off work today, which has been really good because I have been able to keep up with all the replies.

CoonDawg - I understand the agitation of going to the meetings. I feel so sick when I don't go and I don't know why. Your speech was so touching - I would die to hear a speech like that!! My husband would never do it - he is so old-fashioned and boring and likes a woman to 'be in her place' - his favourite expression!!

xxR

33

Panic Attacks

by rebel in

jw
friends

i don't know if this subject has been touched on before - i didn't know what section to put it under.. i have to go to the meeting this sunday - basically emotional blackmail by my husband (long story).

i have suffered from panic attacks in the past.

when i don't go to the meetings, and my family do, i get very panicky and breathless.

rebel

Trevor,

I agree with a lot of what you say. I lost a loved one, my 5 year old daughter, and I have never gotten over it. I cry for her every day. I am sure my husband thinks I am such a weak person. She died over 12 years ago, but I was the one that was with her when she was killed. I sat in the hospital with her when she was wrapped in foil, dead from a broken neck. I am the one that has nightmares about the whole thing. My husband wasn't there and he doesn't understand.

I don't want wealth, fame or anything. All I want is to be able to hold my dear little Claire in my arms again. The elders don't understand and think I am weird because I still break down over her every day - nobody really understands except my mum.

My husband thinks the organisation is the answer to everything. I used to think so, but now I don't. And going to the KH only makes me feel worse, not better.

xxR

33

Panic Attacks

by rebel in

jw
friends

i don't know if this subject has been touched on before - i didn't know what section to put it under.. i have to go to the meeting this sunday - basically emotional blackmail by my husband (long story).

i have suffered from panic attacks in the past.

when i don't go to the meetings, and my family do, i get very panicky and breathless.

rebel

Spike,

I really feel for you and had tears in my eyes as I read your post.

I know exactly how you feel. You know the organisation is false, but you are loyal to your husband. And why shouldn't you be.? How dare this organisation make us choose between them and our families. I am so angry and could burst at the injustice that is being done to families everywhere. My children are full of guilt because they can't go on with this pretense any longer, yet they are under pressure from their father, who is under pressure from the 'loving' body of elders.

How did I ever get involved in this? Was I mad?

Please, Spike, stay strong. If you can do it, I can.

Email me anytime at [email protected]

Roz

xxR

33

Panic Attacks

by rebel in

jw
friends

i don't know if this subject has been touched on before - i didn't know what section to put it under.. i have to go to the meeting this sunday - basically emotional blackmail by my husband (long story).

i have suffered from panic attacks in the past.

when i don't go to the meetings, and my family do, i get very panicky and breathless.

rebel

Billygoat,

This all makes so much sense to me. Of course, it is only 2 hours in a KH. I am strong and have been through so much, I can at least cope with this. It is so good to know there are people like you that know exactly what I am talking about. Most people, when I mention panic attacks, say things like "Can't you just snap out of it?" "Why can't you control your emotions?" etc etc. I understand fully the feelings you have about being unemployed. Although I have a job, I can't always pay my bills, and my financial worries get me down. But you seem a pretty strong person and I hope I can pray like you do when I get an attack.

I do feel a bit of a failure though. I always wanted to be strong for my children. I never let them know if I have had an attack, I don't like to burden them. I just wish, sometimes, I could go away somewhere and just be me for the day - without having to think about anybody else.

xxR

40

Girls: what would your ideal guy be like?

by greven in

jw
friends

what should be included in your ideal-guy-kit?.

i also started a thread for the guys to put their wishes on a list, but what do you want from a guy?.

greven

rebel

My idea of an ideal man may be boring to most of you, but here goes.....

He must be kind, gentle, NEVER shout, love me unconditionally (even when I do stupid things) and be genuine. I wouldn't care what he looked like. I would just love to be in a relationship with a man that doesn't make me feel 2 inches high

xxR Of the "We can all dream, can't we?" class xxx

33

Panic Attacks

by rebel in

jw
friends

i don't know if this subject has been touched on before - i didn't know what section to put it under.. i have to go to the meeting this sunday - basically emotional blackmail by my husband (long story).

i have suffered from panic attacks in the past.

when i don't go to the meetings, and my family do, i get very panicky and breathless.

rebel

Mary,

You described my symptoms and the feelings I get when I have an attack exactly - you were spot on.

You were right about my husband. My best friend (who isn't a JW, but she stayed loyal to me all these years) has always said he is a control freak. Our children find him very difficult to get along with. He has always been like this, and becoming a JW only made it worse. Our eldest two children find him really controlling. He is a good man and tries to do the right thing - it's just that he always assumes he is right about everything. His decisions are the best, his ideas are the right ones, he knows the best thing to do etc etc. Sometimes I think I am going mad and I can't believe I have been with him for 25 years - and I'm only 40! We have 4 beautiful children, 2 wonderful grandchildren and he is driving them away from him. I feel sorry for him really. I do love him and want him to see the truth and get out of this organisation before it really ruins him.

In the meantime, I will go on Sunday just to keep the peace.

Thank you again.

xxR

33

Panic Attacks

by rebel in

jw
friends

i don't know if this subject has been touched on before - i didn't know what section to put it under.. i have to go to the meeting this sunday - basically emotional blackmail by my husband (long story).

i have suffered from panic attacks in the past.

when i don't go to the meetings, and my family do, i get very panicky and breathless.

rebel

First, thank you for your replies.

Rayzorblade - your comments really struck a chord with me. I have not been to many meetings since October - for many reasons including the hypocrisy, the cruel treatment of some of my own family members, the UN & child abuse scandals, and also the fact that I just don't believe a lot of what they teach. The elders do not like me very much because they say I am not submissive and am too outspoken - I always speak up for the underdog, no matter what. My husband is a devoted JW and he worries about me - he thinks I have gone mad. He is very old fashioned and can be quite cruel at times. I am going on Sunday to keep the peace because he has made the atmosphere pretty unbearable at home and the kids need a break.

Moreisbetter - thank you so much for your kind words - I hope you too can get through your own situation.

Pandora - thank you for caring - I feel so privileged to have found this board with people like you who care.

Crinklestein - it's funny, but I was going to suggest my husband accompany me to our old church (we were once RC) just to see what his reaction would be!

I am determined to be completely free of this organisation as soon as possible. I hate what it has done to me and my loved ones.

xxR