Posts by losingit

71

Kate Wild

by quellycatface in

jw
friends

i've been given permission to post news of our friend.. kate hasn't been very well.

not well at all.

i think much of it has been a delayed reaction to her df'ing, the general fallout when leaving the wtbs and family issues.. i just wanted to give you guys the heads up and give you a chance to show how much we care about her.. thanks for listening..

losingit

Take care woman!

41

Critique of new JW DVD: These Words Must be on Your Heart.

by WingCommander in

jw
friends

http://youtu.be/dhn2to663cu.

im really channeling my inner blondie with my observation and critiques of these new watchtower videos.

something about them really turns my stomach.

losingit

I couldn't sit through the video. I watched last year's Prodigal Son video with lots of interest and laughed throughout. I was recently out so everything felt so urgent. I've been out for a little over a year now and I can't read an article in the WT or Awake anymore! It makes me so mad that I want to hurl. I literally get sick. I'm soooooo happy I'm out. I may not have any friends anymore, but I'd rather be alone than introduce this garbage to my brain. I feel sorry for my former friends in the org who ate feeding this dangerous propaganda to their kids. I've wondered if in the future I might have to be their lifeline if they're ever df'd and shunned as a result.

12

Single women with 3 kids returning to the meetings....

by EndofMysteries in

i was talking with a still in relative today who mentioned how they had this sister with 3 or 4 kids over recently.

they said she is returning ot meetings and coming back into the truth, etc.

i remember when i was still in, the only ones i ever saw trying to return were generally the single moms with lots of baggage.

losingit

Association, community, and I believe they might want to make things right with God by helping to raise their young ones.

35

What is the JW Mindset?

by losingit in

is it based on gullibility, naivete, the ability to suspend all logic and reason in order to hold onto fantasized "realities" of a paradise earth where all humanity will be perfect, where all wars and violence will cease?

is it a personal preponderance to the extreme-- whether it be in judgmentalism, cruelty, rigidity, negativity, and/ or righteousness that lends itself to extreme closemindedness and shortsightedness?.

how do you define it for yourself?

losingit

I'd love to continue the conversation today, but I'm beat. I must be in a different time zone from you guys :-) Good night y'all. I'll pick it back up tomorrow. :-)

35

What is the JW Mindset?

by losingit in

is it based on gullibility, naivete, the ability to suspend all logic and reason in order to hold onto fantasized "realities" of a paradise earth where all humanity will be perfect, where all wars and violence will cease?

is it a personal preponderance to the extreme-- whether it be in judgmentalism, cruelty, rigidity, negativity, and/ or righteousness that lends itself to extreme closemindedness and shortsightedness?.

how do you define it for yourself?

losingit

So Oubliette... even if it is not particularly unique to JWs, do JWs as a group possess the mindset that Outlaw succintly described?

Is it just an extremist attitude? An intolerant attitude? Why do people possess these types of attitudes?

My own thought is that it doesn't have to be particularly unique to JWs to classify those characteristics/behaviors as "JW Mindset" for the purpose of this forum and even when talking to others who are ex-jws or are familiar with the JW lifestyle. It is a convenient way to bundle together traits to move forward in a conversation. An identifying hallmark, as such.

I mean, c'mon... haven't you ever had an inkling that a stranger you met was a JW? How do you know (excluding the non-celebration of holidays and birthdays?) What gave you that inkling?

35

What is the JW Mindset?

by losingit in

is it based on gullibility, naivete, the ability to suspend all logic and reason in order to hold onto fantasized "realities" of a paradise earth where all humanity will be perfect, where all wars and violence will cease?

is it a personal preponderance to the extreme-- whether it be in judgmentalism, cruelty, rigidity, negativity, and/ or righteousness that lends itself to extreme closemindedness and shortsightedness?.

how do you define it for yourself?

losingit

Outlaw and Skeeter1..... So true! LOL It takes gullibility and arrogance. What an odd combination!

So what makes an ex-jw become an ex-jw?

It's gotta be the humble notion that we are not right, we are not better than anyone, and we listen to others before speaking! Perhaps that's why some ex-jws become agnostic or atheist since Jehovah is not the end-all be-all.

But what happens when ex-jws still act as if their position is the only valid and correct one, that they're better, and refuse to listen?

JW Mindset at work?

35

What is the JW Mindset?

by losingit in

is it based on gullibility, naivete, the ability to suspend all logic and reason in order to hold onto fantasized "realities" of a paradise earth where all humanity will be perfect, where all wars and violence will cease?

is it a personal preponderance to the extreme-- whether it be in judgmentalism, cruelty, rigidity, negativity, and/ or righteousness that lends itself to extreme closemindedness and shortsightedness?.

how do you define it for yourself?

losingit

Oubliette: Thanks for sharing what you needed to work on and why you still come onto this forum. I do agree that it does take a certain level of cockiness to believe that one possesses "THE TRUTH." To me, using the term, "THE TRUTH" from the JW perspective implies that only Jehovah God's perspective is the most important. I always thought that could not be the case. As a just and loving God (as JWs like to describe him as being), wouldn't Jehovah have to take into account everyone's position and viewpoint in order to truly read their heart condition? I didn't think things could ever be so cut and dry as some of the literature (perhaps most?) describes Him as being. I just could not wrap my brain around their depiction of God.

I have been around the company of JWs who were unbelievably cocky, and WOW I could not stand being around them, and I'm the type that cannot control my body language or facial expressions too much! What I felt and thought was apparent. Unfortunately, most of those that I met who were so were elders and MS's. I did not enjoy their good graces, nope, I didn't.

Apognophos: I lean more towards there being a JW mindset. There are certain qualities that the Society tries to cultivate in Witnesses, and they are not so much about the spiritual fruit as listed in Ephesians. Arrogance, fear, and what you said about holidays and churches. I guess lots of extremists possess these qualities, but I wouldn't say that it is human nature to believe that they alone possess "the truth" or that they are "judgmental without compassion." I tend to believe in the good in people, and I would hope that most people are open in their hearts once they learn about others. We all have the same basic needs. Not one group is above another. I can't say "everybody" as freely as you do. I do like that term you used, however... "Satisfied mentality"... and agree with your notion that skepticism "is needed in all areas of life."

Since I've been out, I've fully embraced almost ALL holidays. What fun! I used to celebrate before and I am happy to give that gift freely to my girls. No restraints. As for churches, I was raised Catholic, and I was generally spooked out by churches. I used to be curious about going to another denomination's services, but after JWdom, I just don't have the same interest as I used to. If I ever go back to ANY church, it might be the Catholic faith just out of tradition and my family's connections to it. Those are HUGE if's and might's, however.

35

What is the JW Mindset?

by losingit in

is it based on gullibility, naivete, the ability to suspend all logic and reason in order to hold onto fantasized "realities" of a paradise earth where all humanity will be perfect, where all wars and violence will cease?

is it a personal preponderance to the extreme-- whether it be in judgmentalism, cruelty, rigidity, negativity, and/ or righteousness that lends itself to extreme closemindedness and shortsightedness?.

how do you define it for yourself?

losingit

Lost Generation-- so when a JW learns TTATT, must they let go of their "fear" and "greed"?

Is it greedy to want to live in a Paradise earth? I think JWs don't want to think about what their belief system both directly and indirectly says about the fate of billions of non-worshippers. I know I worked hard to push it to the side and to be able to explain to my oldest how salvation really worked. I looked to Jesus' example to be able to do this, but I cannot say that most JWs do this. How do you work on letting go of this greed, to have everything handed over to you? Are JWs therefore lazy? Does it take a strong work ethic to successfully leave the JWs? I don't know..., just wanted to hear you flesh these thoughts out.

As far as fear-- I think JWs fall into that pattern of fear of man because it is easy to be led by others than to think for yourself. It just does not require that much courage or effort, really, to rely on everyone else's opinions to shape your life. What must a ex-jw do to improve upon this?

Oubliette-- I don't have much experience with other cults, thank goodness, LOL. And I haven't done much research into other cults besides reading Steve Hassan's first book. Could you share what qualities JWs and other cult members possess? Has there been a study done that helps identify what these characteristics are? Maybe someone out on the forum knows...

Wanderlust-- intellectual laziness and pessimism... YES!!! OMG, don't you dare research or think for yourself or outside of the box! JW belief system really does require laziness. Why look anywhere else when the answers are right there? I was the type that did extra research, but only in the literature. Funny, tho, that once I started grad school I could tear the study articles apart, the talks apart, I could identify the crap that was being spewed, and I wasn't doing research into the Bible. Just using my BRAIN!

35

What is the JW Mindset?

by losingit in

is it based on gullibility, naivete, the ability to suspend all logic and reason in order to hold onto fantasized "realities" of a paradise earth where all humanity will be perfect, where all wars and violence will cease?

is it a personal preponderance to the extreme-- whether it be in judgmentalism, cruelty, rigidity, negativity, and/ or righteousness that lends itself to extreme closemindedness and shortsightedness?.

how do you define it for yourself?

losingit

That's true Navytown , Paradise quckly gets lost once you start asking detailed questions that may even seem insignificant. Just forget critical thinking completely -- youre a Jdub now!

35

What is the JW Mindset?

by losingit in

is it based on gullibility, naivete, the ability to suspend all logic and reason in order to hold onto fantasized "realities" of a paradise earth where all humanity will be perfect, where all wars and violence will cease?

is it a personal preponderance to the extreme-- whether it be in judgmentalism, cruelty, rigidity, negativity, and/ or righteousness that lends itself to extreme closemindedness and shortsightedness?.

how do you define it for yourself?

losingit

Is it based on gullibility, naivete, the ability to suspend all logic and reason in order to hold onto fantasized "realities" of a Paradise Earth where all humanity will be perfect, where all wars and violence will cease?

Is it a personal preponderance to the extreme-- whether it be in judgmentalism, cruelty, rigidity, negativity, and/ or righteousness that lends itself to extreme closemindedness and shortsightedness?

How do you define it for yourself? What characteristics are you working hard to let go of in order to overcome your JW past?

Personally, what led me to become a JW was my extreme desire for Paradise Earth. I fell hook, line, and sinker for their vision of a perfect humanity-- UTOPIA finally achieved!!! In the beginning I hated the idea of billions being destroyed, so much so that I had nightmares. I comforted myself with the thought that "Jehovah" is an all-knowing God and the reader of our hearts. He would surely allow many billions to survive as a God of mercy and love. That was how I reasoned and survived as a Witness.

But I also tend to be very negative that it affects my vision for the future. Everything has a negative side. A JW would look experience a peaceful beautiful day and say, "I can't wait to enjoy this in Paradise," or, "This is what Paradise will be like," instead of basking (Spelling?) in the rays of sunlight and the power of nature, letting it seep into their system to reenergize them. They reject all that for a fantasized Paradise Earth and focus on the tidbits of news signaling the end of the world. That mindset affected me so much that I eventually had to stop watching local and national news. It was all just too much............ I am letting go of the negativity and choosing to hope in the good of humanity.

I also, to an extent, enjoyed the "protection" that the congregation provided. I was surrounded by God-loving people. I didn't have to work hard to find them and to cultivate friendships with them. The perfect community was right there in front of me. It was easy. I didn't have to feel awkward or work very hard................ I am letting go of my closemindedness. I am letting go of my judgmentalism so that I can form relationships with people that also have good hearts.

JWs tend to point the fingers at others. Personal examination is not one of their better qualities. Too many people I knew as JWs were lazy in terms of personal improvement............ I am letting go of blaming others for my past. I am letting go of judging myself too harshly. I am looking into the mirror, being honest about myself, with the goal of creating a better future for me and my girls.

JWs can also be very selfish. Their own personal survival is at hand, damn all others who could possibly jeopardize that! I can't say that I was selfish in that regard, but for the past year or so I have been selfish in crying about my past, all of the wasted time as a JW. I let that thinking intervene at times in my ability to care for my girls as I struggled with my circumstances. I believe I acted on that JW quality for too long.... I am letting go of my shortsightedness and focusing on my girls.

What is the JW mindset? What characteristics did you possess as a JW? What are you working hard to let go of, and why?