Cofty,
I'm not so sure the local pub team couldn't hold its own. It's soccer, after all. Just a week ago a team of short, over weight amateurs held the best distaff team in the world at that time to a draw. Of course, they played defense the entire time, firmly planting 11 pudgy little bodies squarely in front of the goal for 90 minutes. I believe they were called the Colombian Olympic Women's Soccer Team.
The strategy was so successful that the Swedish women's team copied it to perfection a few days later to earn a (NOT) hard fought win between the best women's soccer team in the world - up to that time. It seems that feigning, fainting, falling, flailing, flopping - and doing nothing but planting a lot of human flesh in front of the money maker - are tactics, at least in soccer, that can prove effective against the most powerful opponent. So there is hope for the pub squad. At least in soccer.
Now if you had selected American football . . . . (or any other REAL sport that requires offense and defense where they actually have a chance to score)