Posts by happyout

33

Anybody Here from So. California?

by sandy in

jw
friends

looking for people in the southern california area i have been out (in-active) for over 5 years.

just looking for friends to talk to that understand how hard it is go on after living a jw life.

i know all you do on this web board but, i would like to make some friends i can actually hang out with.

happyout

Don't really want to give the city I live in for security reasons, but I work in El Segundo. Feel free to contact me via this site (send to my inbox) if you would like to get together.

7

THE GOOD WIFES GUIDE - WELCOME TO THE 21st CENTURY

by Mary in

jw
friends

ok, i read the thread here:

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/47572/1.ashx

that is indeed from a 1955 women's magazine (or the 2003 bound volume of the watchtower), and me thinks it's time for an update.

Mary - that was the funniest thing I've read in a while! You simply must send this to Woman's World or something like that, it's priceless. I hope you don't mind, I've sent it to some of my married girlfriends. If there's a sudden rash of men disappearing, you will know your job has been done. Thanks for a great laugh!

37

This board like a headache

by Bhagavad in

jw
friends

this board has become very painful.

i've given it many chances.

so many posters do not know what the apostrophe is for or is not for.

happyout

Well, I certainly hope the rest of us morons pack up our keyboards and go home. We obviously are not deserving of being heard if we can't remember to use an apostrophe correctly, or proper grammar, or any of the other REALLY IMPORTANT things mentioned. I mean, if a rape victime or abuse victim leaves out a word in their sentence, then throw them to the wolves!! Don't you people have any PRIORITIES??

Happyout (of the "hate arrogant dumbasses" class)

Bhagavad - only cowards throw stones and run.

Edited to correct spelling of arrogant dumbasses' name

47

Theme Songs for Leaving the WTS

by blondie in

jw
friends

here is an edited version of a favorite of mine:.

with apologies to the eagles .

already gone well, i heard some people talkin' just the other day and they said you were gonna put me on a shelf but let me tell you i got some news for you and you'll soon find out it's true and then you'll have to eat your crap all by yourself 'cause i'm already gone and i'm feelin' strong i will sing this vict'ry song, woo, hoo,hoo,woo,hoo,hoo

happyout

Something To Believe In

Poison

Will I see him on the TV

Preachin' 'bout the promised land

He tells me to believe in Jesus

And steals the money from my hand

Some say he was a good man

But Lord I think he sinned, yeah

Twenty-two years of mental tears

Cries a suicidal Vietnam vet

Who fought a losing war on a foreign shore

To find his country didn't want him back

Their bullets took his best friend in Saigon

Our lawyers took his wife and kids,

no regrets

In a time I don't remember

In a war he can't forget

He cried "Forgive me for

what I've done there

Cause I never meant the things I did"

Chorus:

And give me something to believe in

If there's a Lord above

And give me something to believe in

Oh, Lord arise

My best friend died a lonely man

In some Palm Springs hotel room

I got the call last Christmas Eve

And they told me the news

I tried all night not to break down and cry

As the tears rolled down my face

I felt so cold and empty

Like a lost soul out of place

And the mirror, mirror on the wall

Sees my smile it fades again

Chorus

Sometimes I wish to God

I didn't know now

The things I didn't know then

Road you gotta take me home

Solo

I drive by the homeless sleeping on

a cold dark street

Like bodies in an open grave

Underneath the broken old neon sign

That used to read

Jesus Saves

A mile away live the rich folks

And I see how they're living it up

While the poor they eat from hand to mouth

The rich is drinkin' from a golden cup

And it just makes me wonder

Why so many lose, so few win

Chorus

You take the high road

And I'll take the low road

Sometimes I wish to God

I didn't know now

The things I didn't know then

And give me something to believe in

20

Would you allow someone else to discipline your kids?

by freedom96 in

jw
friends

there is much debate on whether or not a parent should discipline their child by spanking, or sometimes even worse.

minimus asked about this on a recent thread.. it reminded me of hearing stories about how those in positions of authority would sometimes spank a child.

the first that comes to mind is teachers.

happyout

This subject is very close to my heart for several reasons. I was spanked as a child, and since all the kids I knew were also spanked, I didn't think much of it. However, now that I am a parent, I have a slightly different view. I will not rule out spanking my son, but I will only do it in two situations 1) If he was doing something dangerous that he knew he should not do and 2) if I had tried all other options and they had not worked.

As for other relatives spanking my child - absolutely not. I have made this very clear, and if they don't agree with that rule, they don't have to babysit him. I know some of them think I spoil my son, because I give him three chances before he gets a time out. But, he's only two, the timeouts are effective (he stands at the wall for two minutes bawling his little heart out), and afterwards I have him apologise and hug me or whoever he transgressed against. I think the hugging at the end is important, I want him to know that I always love him, even when he misbehaves.

As for schools - HELL NO. I have relatives who work for a couple of school districts, and let me tell you, teachers are not all they should be these days. Some of them are in the profession, not for love of children, but for power over someone. Or because they could not succeed at anything else. Regardless, I don't trust their judgement enough to hit my child. Of course, they should have some methods of discipline, loss of activities, extra homework, and, most importantly, open communication with parents.

An example of discipline in a private school gone awry. A relatives daughter was in school, and talking during class. She was not alone in this, but she was a definite participant. The teacher taped her to a chair, and then taped her mouth closed. She was the only child who received this discipline. When the parents asked why, the teacher (whose race won't be mentioned, but who was not black) said "Black children talk too much". The other children who were talking, by the way, were not black, and apparently therefore did not merit such a punishment.

I don't believe all teachers are bad, nor do I believe this story to be common (heavens, I hope not). My point is, how would I know in advance? But like you, Freedom96, whoever touches my child better hope the cops get to them before I do.

Great thread.

27

Please help me save my marriage - URGENT

by happyout in

i am fighting to save my marriage, and the person i seem to be fighting against is my husband.

a little background, we had a rough time dating, because he had a hard time being faithful.

i caught him cheating three times, and left him, but he kept asking for forgiveness, promising to change, and i bought into it.

happyout

You have all given me a lot to think about. I re-read my original post, and I do come across as a bit mousy, afraid to speak up for myself. That only applies with my husband, with everyone else I lay down the law (always nicely, though). There is literally no one else that walks over me, including my boss. I don't know what it is about my husband that intimidates me so, and I believe counseling may be the best way to find out.

Also, to kind of expand a bit. My husband is a "nice guy". He is usually soft spoken, and well liked by everyone. I would bet most people who know us think I run the relationship, because it appears that I have the stronger personality. And yes, I am apparently letting him call all the shots in our marriage, and that needs to change.

Also, to the best of my knowledge, he has not been unfaithful to me since before we were married. I now have reason to doubt how long he was faithful before we were married, but none to doubt since the wedding.

Blackout - great question "do you still love him?" I can't honestly say I am still in love. But, I also can't say I don't love him anymore. I just know that I feel hurt and angry every single day when I come home. I don't feel like he loves me, otherwise why would he let / make me work so hard without helping?

I grew up watching a very similar situation with my parents, and always promised myself it would never happen to me. That's why I talked about sharing so much when we were dating. There is a good chance that it's something I'm doing that has created the situation or at least kept it going in this manner, and I need to stop doing whatever that is. I have tried the "I'm on strike" thing, and what happens is the dishes sit for days (I've let it go for almost a week a few times), the laundry does not get done, my son eats take out, etc. That tactic does not work with him. I can't change him, you are correct, ThiChi, he has to decide that he wants to change and then do it. He has made promises in the past, and has even helped out, but it never lasts more than two weeks. Then he brings up those two weeks over and over, as though he has earned a break from all the hard work.

I just don't think it should be this hard. I know marriage is difficult, and I am willing to work through things, but I can't do it alone, and he doesn't appear to believe he needs to change. He says my complaining about housework is "petty" and that there are people in the world with "real problems". I think if I am not happy, that is a "real problem" but it does not appear to rate in his book.

Anyway, I have to go for the evening, but thanks again to everyone for your advice. I can't tell you how much it means to have you all to "talk" to and get support from.

Happyout

27

Please help me save my marriage - URGENT

by happyout in

i am fighting to save my marriage, and the person i seem to be fighting against is my husband.

a little background, we had a rough time dating, because he had a hard time being faithful.

i caught him cheating three times, and left him, but he kept asking for forgiveness, promising to change, and i bought into it.

happyout

Thanks for such great advice. I knew my "apostate" brothers and sisters would help I believe there is value in going to counseling alone, and I am going to start as soon as I can. And special thanks to the men for reassuring me that this was not a male / female issue.

Thanks for the love and hugs,

Happyout

27

Please help me save my marriage - URGENT

by happyout in

i am fighting to save my marriage, and the person i seem to be fighting against is my husband.

a little background, we had a rough time dating, because he had a hard time being faithful.

i caught him cheating three times, and left him, but he kept asking for forgiveness, promising to change, and i bought into it.

happyout

Dottie - thanks for your kind words, and don't be surprised when I take you up on your offer to vent

Scully - that is great advice, I will check to see if there is some free legal advice I can get.

I think part of my problem is that I feel so guilty my marriage is failing, and I don't want to admit that there may be nothing else I can do. My siblings who are married are all dubs, and of course they have had minor problems, but their marriages have all lasted 10 years or longer. Mine is less than 6 years old, and deteriorating rapidly.

4

MP causes breastfeeding row

by ozziepost in

today's news in oz includes this item about a state mp breast-feeding her baby in the parliament.. do you think there's a chance that this could occur at your local kh?

20:56 aest wed 26 feb 2003. marshall causes breastfeeding row.

victoria's newest celebrity mp, former olympic aerial skier kirstie marshall, was ordered to leave the floor of state parliament after breastfeeding her new baby in the chamber.. the move sparked outrage among breastfeeding advocates, who branded the decision discriminatory and archaic.. ms marshall caused a stir in the legislative assembly when she began breastfeeding 11-day-old charlotte just before question time.. she was asked to leave by the serjeant-at-arms, due to rules banning non-mps from the floor.. ms marshall said she had not realised she was not allowed to feed charlotte in the chamber, and was not trying to make a statement.. "charlotte was due for a feed so i whacked her on the breast and walked in ... i've since found out that there is a law or a rule that actually stated that you can't have a stranger in the house," ms marshall told reporters.. "and as she hasn't been elected to parliament ... she's not an individually-elected member.".

happyout

The picture makes it look as though she does not have any covering over her breast, which I find inappropriate. I breastfed my son for a year, and if I was in public, his head and my breast were always covered. I think breastfeeding is the best thing for mother and child, and I am a total advocate that it should be encouraged far more than it is, but I also think mothers should use some common sense, and respect others. I used a breast pump when I went back to work, and pumped in the ladies room, and even in there, I covered my chest. Just be discreet, not ashamed, but discreet.

7

Can We PLEASE ask for your HELP one more time..or so

by Thunder Rider in

we are in the midst of editing the proof copy of "thunder rider's burden", sheila believes we need a pronunciation key, how does one do this or does anyone know where to get one done?.

also since my novel is fantasy genre about another land do you feel i need to include a map of that land?.

thunderr

happyout

Microsoft Encarta has a pronunciation function. Here's the web site: http://encarta.msn.com/encnet/features/dictionary/DictionaryHome.aspx

Also, I love maps, it helps me understand the story better.

Good luck!!