I work at a casino, and that year I was working overnight a lot so I usually slept until about noon. I woke up and it was one of those beautiful days. I keep the blinds in my room open (the sun doesn't bother me when I sleep) and I had the window open as well. The sky was the perfect shade of blue, the air smelled fresh and clean, there was a bird chirping in the tree outside my window, not a cloud in the sky, and the temperature was gorgeous. Just one of those perfect weather days. And so I woke up to this and thought how wonderful life was, took a few nice deep breaths of the fresh air, had a nice long luxurious stretch. I was relaxed, content, happy... it was just a glorious day. I remember clearly noticing, enjoying, thinking about these things.
I don't usually have a TV in my room, but a few nights before someone had spent the night and we had moved the TV into my bedroom to watch a movie in bed. I hadn't bothered to move the TV back, yet, so I rolled over and turned the TV on to flip through channels for a bit before making myself get up. A barrage of thoughts and images, fears and nightmares, shock and despair, sadness and regret invaded my peaceful, contented enjoyment of the day. It marred my soul. I felt... distanced and alone. I lived by myself, and while I was content living alone... it was isolation that day. It kept flashing in my mind the fact that a week, to the day, before I had actually been standing at the top of the world trade center. I still have the tickets.
I had to work at 3 that afternoon so for about an hour I just sat in bed flipping through channels trying to understand what had happened, what I had slept through. I left the TV on while I took a shower and got ready. I listened to news updates on the radio all the way to work.
Our casino does a lot of local business and many of our players will book rooms in the hotel for a night out even though they live in town. We cancelled all rooms that were booked for local guests. We opened the hotel to those who were stranded here because their flights were cancelled. We opened up the ballroom for a place for people to stay when the hotel was full. It seems odd, but there were people playing at the casino that night. I think for most of them it was an escape, a way to cope, with the tragedy of the day. A lot of the people who were playing were from out of town and stuck here, just trying to pass the time and not think about it. I spent most of the night talking to a guy playing blackjack who was in town on business. He worked at the world trade center. He hadn't been able to get ahold of his family or anyone from work and just couldn't face sitting alone in a room.
I sent home every person I could afford to let go early with the exception of a few who wanted to stay because they lived alone and wanted to be around people rather than sit at home alone. It was a somber night and we all just did the best we could to comfort each other and those around us. We got through it the best we could.
Jackie
