Posts by Nickey

28

I'm so very depressed...

by Nickey in

lately, i've been really depressed at missing out on my life.

from being pulled out of school in the 3rd grade to keep me away from the "worldly" kids.

i was basically isolated.

Nickey

Thanks to everyone's encouraging words. I don't feel as depressed now.

I've only been "mentally" out of the org for about 8 months or so and have been going through the emotions. I've looked at my life and realized that I should've accomplished so much. I'm still learning how to interact with people because I never had the chance too. It's given me an extreme case of shyness. I wasn't shy as a child. It was the affect of being isolated for so long. I have to re-learn how to be social now. I still have a hard time talking to people and giving eye contact. The thing I have to overcome is my new fear of singing in front of people. I tried karaokee and froze in fear. I knew I could sing, but it just wouldn't come out.

My mother was going through an "Armageddon" phase and moved to an isolated area so when it started... nobody could get us so easily. I spent the remainder of my time in fear of that. Reading the Revelation book and looking at all the scary pictures. That really does something to a child's mind. I couldn't relate to the people at the KH. I tried to get to know some of the people my age, but it was tense. They viewed me as worldly because I'd rather go to the mall and hang out instead of sitting in on a bible study. I was a TEEN. I wanted to go to the movies, shop...etc. The clothes I wore were too worldly and most people tried to keep their children from associating with me. I started to not care because I didn't want friends like that to begin with. My every word and action was judgement.

Last year, I put my foot down. I was sick of being isolated and living in fear. And people controlling every aspect of my life. My next move is to move to New York and slowly overcome my shyness by finding a vocalist instuctor. And maybe trying to start my own clothing line. Maybe I won't have the full support of my family. But I do have someone special in my life who will. And plus, all of you guys.

But I really thank you guys. I realize that I'm still young and I should turn a negative into a positive. I don't want to waste anymore of my time.

28

I'm so very depressed...

by Nickey in

lately, i've been really depressed at missing out on my life.

from being pulled out of school in the 3rd grade to keep me away from the "worldly" kids.

i was basically isolated.

Nickey

Lately, I've been really depressed at missing out on my life. From being pulled out of school in the 3rd grade to keep me away from the "worldly" kids. I was basically isolated. Kept away from everyone and everything. Zero friends... as in NONE, for the rest of my childhood and my whole teen years. The only thing I can remember about my teen years was sitting in my room singing quietly so no one could hear me. Or preparing to go to the KH. That was the only thing I did. I hear people talk about their high school days, and it cuts deep. I felt I deserved to have a HS diploma because I didn't want to settle for less. From the times I was in school up to the 3rd grade, I worked hard and was one of the top students.

My biggest regret is really starting to bother me. I know in my heart that I was born to sing. It's all I do. It's what I tried to strive for since I was a child. And I knew I'd probably go somewhere in it because it was my passion. And it still is. But being a JW, it was discouraged. Wanting to sing was worldly. Some people would tell me to go after my dream. But... as always, it was a "No. It's worldly." I was a kid who had goals. Do good in school and take singing and dance lessons to further myself in what I loved to do. But it seems it was all taken away.

I just feel I missed out. Like I lost my chance on what I was born to do.

Now that I'm 22, I feel that it's too late for me to go after that and I have to settle for less once again. No college education. Had no other choice but to get a GED. And even still I get judged for that, knowing that I wanted to go to High School and graduate with good grades. But I didn't have a choice.

It just ruins peoples lives... especially the children.

11

Is This Old News?

by Alexis_Hart in

jw
friends

i don't know if someone has already posted on this at a previous time and i just didn't see it then, but i saw something for the first time on tv today that totally blew me away.. it happened while i was watching a local television channel's normal afternoon of syndicated shows, during the commercial break.

i'm sure a lot of you have seen the commercials from the mormons and the church of jesus christ of latter day saints.

they're always promoting family and love and togetherness.

Nickey

You serious? I don't think I've seen it yet.

Edited by - Nickey on 10 January 2003 17:46:40

44

demons

by Stefanie in

jw
friends

i was just wondering if anyone here has had any experiences with them.

im sorry if thread has already been discussed.

when my oldest was about 5 months, (i was just studing at the time) i had put her is the crib to sleep for the night.

Nickey

You can't slap a "logical" explanation on a dozen people in the same room seeing a "ghost" and having it interact with them. Not in blurs of light, but in human form. Walking and talking.

That's all I have to say about that.

33

Paranoid Schizophrenia

by Nickey in

this is an issue that i've had to look into due to the extreme paranoia of my mother.

it's getting ridiculous.

and it get's worse everytime she reads the publications.

Nickey

wildfire and spaz,

I've heard about that movie Beautiful Mind. I saw a snippet of it. But I'll go and rent it again and watch it. I heard it was pretty good.

It's just so unpredictable because it pops up. One minute, they're normal and the next they're off the edge because they "truly" believe in whatever is in their minds. The ideas are so real to them and it's hard to convince them otherwise.

I don't trust in the org, because I've personally seen and experienced how they've dealt with certain situatuions. It made things worse and I don't intend on making the same mistakes.

44

demons

by Stefanie in

jw
friends

i was just wondering if anyone here has had any experiences with them.

im sorry if thread has already been discussed.

when my oldest was about 5 months, (i was just studing at the time) i had put her is the crib to sleep for the night.

Nickey

Heaven,

You know what I meant! LOL Let me re-phrase that... screw themselves.

44

demons

by Stefanie in

jw
friends

i was just wondering if anyone here has had any experiences with them.

im sorry if thread has already been discussed.

when my oldest was about 5 months, (i was just studing at the time) i had put her is the crib to sleep for the night.

Nickey

Stefanie,

Don't let all the sarcasm get to you. Some people have to realize when to cut it out and be serious sometimes because it's something that is truly bothering you. And that isn't anything to joke about, even if it appers funny to others.

There are believers and non-believers. But, who are we to say what you are to believe? Yes, people sleepwalk. But if you said you were laying in your bed and your baby was dropped on your bed... then who is anyone to say that you yourself did it when none of us were there to actually see?

Liberty made a point. But there's a point missed in that observation... yes, a "demon" may have the power to just stop a baby's heart and do numerous harmful attacks. That could cause mass chaos and destruction on humans. To have free will to do whatever would be a dream come true. So why don't they use that power to do more harm? Well, if we didn't have authorities and jails to keep criminals in check, we'd be worse off. No laws and limitations set for everyone would leave a huge opening for mass. Some would use that free will to do harm.

Laws dominate. The law of the universe. The law of math....etc. Who's to say "demons" aren't under ; certain laws and limitations?

"Silly tricks" could be more than what a mere human can comprehend if it really is a "battle".

All I can say is, we'll see when we get to wherever. Maybe non-existence, maybe not. The thing is, no one can say a definate yes or no. But it would be mighty arrogant and self-centered for humans to think that we're the only living beings with intelligence in this whole vast universe that we've only seen but so far... even we have our limitations.

"Free-will" ain't but a word in our own vocabulary.

I agree with Heaven, screw them. *lol*

Edited by - Nickey on 9 January 2003 19:17:23

4

Kingdom Hearts

by Dolphin57 in

has anyone played square and disney's kingdom hearts for ps2?

people think it sounds corny but it rocks for any final fantasy and/or disney fan.

edited by - dolphin57 on 8 january 2003 18:42:12.

Nickey

Yeah, I played it a few times. It appears corny, but it's a pretty cool game. Not as easy as it looks. But it's a cool storyline to follow with all the different characters.

31

If You Weren't A Witness, What Would You Be Today?

by minimus in

jw
friends

many of us are or were witnesses because we were born into the religion.

others became witnesses because they really thought it was the truth.

so many wish that they never had a jehovah's witness come to their door or their parents' door.

Nickey

This question always tears me up when I think about it.

But seriously, I would've been an outgoing person who actually went after a singing career. Always was told to stop trying to form a dance group because it was "worldly". I remember gettin' my "worldly" friends together and we'd form dance routines and take part singing. I missed my callin' cause it's my passion... My biggest regret...

As far as religion. I don't know what I would've been. Probably singin' in the choir in some church. You know how black folks are... can't sit still in the seats and catchin' the holy ghost. *lol*

90

WHAT KIND OF PETS DO YOU HAVE?

by hamptonite21 in

jw
friends

i have been researching the greyhound breed.

does any one have a italian greyhound or greyhound?

my application is in for a retired or rescue dog.

Nickey

I have a beige 7 month old toy poodle and a hamster... I had 2 other hamsters before that... oh, and my 4 rabbits. 3 domestic and one wild.

And I dunno if I can include my pet fish cause they keep dyin' on me... one fish ate the other fish and then it died. The other one jumped out the bowl and suffocated.

Edited by - Nickey on 4 January 2003 20:16:42