Posts by Gizmo

16

The Atheist

by target in

one beautiful morning an atheist was walking through the forest, admiring natures surroundings... .

he looked up and saw the trees swaying in the wind high above him and smiled... .

he saw the river glisten in the sun twinkle like a new born star and it made him warm inside... .

Jesus made his usual rounds in heaven when he noticed a wizened, white-haired old man sitting in a corner looking very disconsolate. The next week he was disturbed to come across him again, looking equally miserable, and a week later he stopped to talk to him.

"See here, old fellow," said Jesus kindly, "this is heaven. The sun is shining, you've got all you could want to eat, all the instruments you might want to play-- you're supposed to be blissfully happy! What's wrong?

"Well," said the old man, "you see, I was a carpenter on earth, and lost my only, dearly beloved son at an early age. And here in heaven I was hoping more than anything to find him."

"Tears sprang from Jesus' eyes. "FATHER!" he cried.

The old man jumped to his feet, bursting into tears, and sobbed, "PINOCCHIO!"

16

The Atheist

by target in

one beautiful morning an atheist was walking through the forest, admiring natures surroundings... .

he looked up and saw the trees swaying in the wind high above him and smiled... .

he saw the river glisten in the sun twinkle like a new born star and it made him warm inside... .

Gizmo

Why God never got a PhD
-----------------------

1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English.
3. It has no references.
4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal.
5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since
then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing.
10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his
subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from
the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book.
13. Some say he had his son to teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students
failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top

16

The Atheist

by target in

one beautiful morning an atheist was walking through the forest, admiring natures surroundings... .

he looked up and saw the trees swaying in the wind high above him and smiled... .

he saw the river glisten in the sun twinkle like a new born star and it made him warm inside... .

Gizmo

Walking on Water

It's the second resurection of Christ. Before the world ends he wants
to take in some fishing. So he gets his friend Moses and they head up
to Minnesota to fish. They are about to rent a canoe when Moses says:
"Jesus, can't you still walk on water? Why not just walk out there?"
So Jesus takes his reel and tackle and steps onto the lake....and falls
knee deep in water.

Moses says, "Well....maybe you need a head start or something, why not
go to the end of the dock and try."

So Jesus takes his reel and tackle and steps off the end of the dock and
falls up to his waist.

Moses says, " Well why not rent the boat, go out to the center of the
lake and try there."

So they rent the boat and go to the middle of the lake, Jesus is about
to step off and try again when...

Moses says, "Wait. Just to be safe, why not get yourself into the state
of mind you were in the first time you did it."

So Jesus sets down, meditates for a few minutes, and finally he's all
psyched up, and steps out of the canoe.... ..and precedes to drown.
So Moses does the water parting thing, and pulls Jesus up into the boat.
Jesus is just beating himself up over this. He just doesn't see what's
going wrong here. Moses just stares down at the bottom of the boat.
Suddenly, Moses says, "I got it! I know what's wrong! Did you have those
holes in your feet last time?!?!"

16

The Atheist

by target in

one beautiful morning an atheist was walking through the forest, admiring natures surroundings... .

he looked up and saw the trees swaying in the wind high above him and smiled... .

he saw the river glisten in the sun twinkle like a new born star and it made him warm inside... .

Gizmo

One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species.

Surprised, he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books?"

"Well," said the orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."

15

Aussie JW Paedophille......FRONT PAGE NEWS!!!

by TheApostleAK in

jw
friends

sorry for this being a month late.... if any aussies want to see the original of this article go to your state library and they will have it there (nods head to prisca).. only this sort of story would make front-page news in boring little old adelaide (nods head, raises eyebrows to uncle bruce).. tip: when reading this article read between the lines.... enjoy!.

newspaper: the advertiser (adelaide, south australia).

date: tuesday, november 19th 2002. notes: picture with caption: "together: natasha gault - her wedding dress hangs in the background - and michael tran at home yesterday with dog chino" .

Gizmo

A 17 year old soon to be 18 year old impregnated by a 19 year old can hardly constitute paedophilia even by so called "worldly standards"

What bugs me more, if having to get married at 19 and 18 is not bad enough is that this girl is going to be introduced to The Borg, scrutinesed, and mistrusted, at least until she proves herself, and ofcourse gets baptised. She will probably get all the blame for leading this poor innocent brother Tran astray.

Now if he didn't give a s@%& about being re-instated, they probably would stand a better chance....I give this marriage 2 maybe 3 years at best.

2

Subliminal or Not Subliminal What was the question

by Gizmo in

just thought some of you may find this interesting????.

if anyone has these books and watchtowers still laying around, how about seeing how many different "subliminal" pics you can paint into them?

and then scan and post them...might be good for a laugh?.

Gizmo

Hey Mystla,

Yep it is wierd, I know this woman lost her kids and that's sad, but it was a bit far fetched.....there are a lot of people out there that will go to extraordinary lengths to try and justify their view point. ie The BORG. Oh well glad it's all behind me now.

2

Famous Ships Quiz

by Gizmo in

see if you can remember any of these?.

famous ships quiz.

what was the name of the ship in the tv series lost in space?.

Gizmo

Pretty Good

missing out on 5.

6/ Seaview

8/Nautilaus (yes as well)

14/ Cinco Llagas

18/ Discovery

19/ Nostromo

2

Famous Ships Quiz

by Gizmo in

see if you can remember any of these?.

famous ships quiz.

what was the name of the ship in the tv series lost in space?.

Gizmo

See if you can remember any of these?

Famous Ships Quiz

What was the name of the ship in the TV series Lost in Space?

W hat was the name of the ship in the TV series Star Trek?

What was the name of the ship in the TV series Dr Who?

What was the name of the ship in the novel Moby Dick?

What was the name of Captain Cook's ship?

What was the name of the ship in the TV series voyage to the bottom of the sea?

What was the name of the ship in Jules Verne's 20,000 leagues under the sea'?

What was the name of the first nuclear powered submarine launched in 195s by the ?

What is a ship of the desert?

What was the name of the shipwreck on the TV series Gilligan's ?

What was the name of the rescue ship that came in aid of the Titanic?

What was the name of the space-ship responsible for the first man on the moon?

What was the name of the space-station that fell to earth in July 1979?

What was the name of Captain Blood's pirate ship?

What kind of ship is Red October?

What was the name of the patrol boat in the TV series McHales Navy?

What was the name of 's WWII unsinkable battleship?

What was the name of the space-ship in 2001 A Space Odyssey?

What was the name of the mining ship in Alien?

What was the name of the ship in Jason and the Argonauts?

2

Subliminal or Not Subliminal What was the question

by Gizmo in

just thought some of you may find this interesting????.

if anyone has these books and watchtowers still laying around, how about seeing how many different "subliminal" pics you can paint into them?

and then scan and post them...might be good for a laugh?.

Gizmo

Just thought some of you may find this interesting????

If anyone has these books and watchtowers still laying around, how about seeing how many different "SUBLIMINAL" pics you can paint into them? And then scan and post them...might be good for a laugh?

I mean really, I never imagined anything like this in any pics the Borg artists drew. Besides I don't think the so called "subliminal" stuff this woman is drawing into these pics are half as scary as the actual paintings. IMHO I think this is the kind of crap that gives the organisation ammunition to debunk so called experts.

1

Overview of The WTBTS

by Gizmo in

overview:.

the borg, a massive organization of governing body organisms assimilated from various individuals, is one of the most fearsome and unrelenting forces in the milky way galaxy, having spread their influence into all four quadrants of the earth, and beyond, even into transdimensional realms.

the origins of the borg are unknown, although they apparently originated in the russel quadrant.

Gizmo

I thought some may find this interesting??????