Nosferatu

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Posts by Nosferatu

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  30

  Why I love music, you can find a song for any situation, here is mine now

  by wanderlustguy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  if you don't know of one for you, try to describe the way you feel and someone might know of one for that.

  it defintiely helps me to play music when i am not doing so well.. chris cornell.

  ghosts.

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  Nosferatu

  Wasn't too sure about a song to describe my exact feelings right now, but this one describes last night pretty well:
  
  
  Sitting Here Lyrics by Marc Bolan and T. Rex
  
  
  Sitting here, I don't care for you
  Sitting there, you don't care for me
  But I think we're in love
  Ain't that funny
  
  Sitting there, you don't care for me
  Sitting here, I don't care for you
  But I think we're in love
  Ain't that funny
  
  Oh love's a wonderful thing that comes and goes
  Even when I'm pickin' my nose
  
  Ooh sitting here, you don't care for me
  Sitting here, I don't care for you
  But I think we're in love
  Ain't that funny
  Yeah yeah
  
  Sitting here, I don't care for you
  Sitting here, I don't care for you
  And I think we're in love
  Ain't that funny
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  11

  what reason do you give your kids for why jw grandma dosnt come to visit?

  by looloo in

  1. social
  2. family

  do i tell her that jw granny is a "true christian" that is why she does not come to see you and wicked worldly granny cant keep away because she loves you loads, what the heckers do i say to her ???

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  Nosferatu

  I don't know, and I'll probably have this problem eventually. I'll probably just tell him that JW Granny isn't very nice.
• 
  4

  The bethelites ARE a rebellious bunch!!

  by cultswatter in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  this is some artwork from bethel - courtesy of randall watters.

  can anyone scan that article?

  would be reallly interested in that!!

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  Nosferatu

  I love the Bethel graffiti on Randy's site! Always gives me a good laugh, especially the one about the new release at the District Convention.
• 
  22

  Never Thought About Suicide. Why not?

  by Nosferatu in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  i was doing some thinking this morning about my mother, when she said she wanted to "work on our bond" over a pizza, and i pretty much didn't bother with the offer.

  i was thinking about how i'd confronted her before my boy was born about all the physical abuse which she denied.

  i started thinking back to that time in my life, when i would shake uncontrollably thinking about school, let alone actually going to school.

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  Nosferatu

  I think the only thing that kept me going was knowing that Jehovah would fix everything, and that all those people would die at Armageddon.
  
  It's pretty depressing thinking that the JW religion may actually have saved my life.
  
  Abandoned, you may be quite right about the whole internalizing anger thing. I didn't hate myself for my situation. I did when I got older, and I constantly wondered why I was born into such a horrible situation. I really did hate myself at age 16-17.
  
  So on the other end of things, the JW religion could have helped end my life, because this was a point where I wanted out, and I couldn't get out.
• 
  22

  Never Thought About Suicide. Why not?

  by Nosferatu in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  i was doing some thinking this morning about my mother, when she said she wanted to "work on our bond" over a pizza, and i pretty much didn't bother with the offer.

  i was thinking about how i'd confronted her before my boy was born about all the physical abuse which she denied.

  i started thinking back to that time in my life, when i would shake uncontrollably thinking about school, let alone actually going to school.

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  Nosferatu

  - "Those who internalize their anger, become self-destructive. "
  
  That's exactly what I did. I couldn't lash out at anything. I kept everything to myself and never had anybody to talk to. If I did express my anger, I would have got a beating.
  
  I cannot say that I never thought about suicide as a teenager. It really started to hit me when I was 16, but I'm just kinda confused as to why I never thought about it when I was going through THE worst time of my life.
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  21

  Hallo! Im new here

  by JosefinB in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i hope this is where you introduce yourself hmm.... my name is josefine.

  im 22 years old and i live in the us.

  and i am totally into jehovah's witness.

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  Nosferatu

  I know what you mean. I was totally into Jehovah's Witnesses too! Then, I got totally out of it.
  
  Welcome aboard!
• 
  22

  Never Thought About Suicide. Why not?

  by Nosferatu in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  i was doing some thinking this morning about my mother, when she said she wanted to "work on our bond" over a pizza, and i pretty much didn't bother with the offer.

  i was thinking about how i'd confronted her before my boy was born about all the physical abuse which she denied.

  i started thinking back to that time in my life, when i would shake uncontrollably thinking about school, let alone actually going to school.

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• 

  Nosferatu

  I was doing some thinking this morning about my mother, when she said she wanted to "work on our bond" over a pizza, and I pretty much didn't bother with the offer.
  
  I was thinking about how I'd confronted her before my boy was born about all the physical abuse which she denied. I started thinking back to that time in my life, when I would shake uncontrollably thinking about school, let alone actually going to school. I was beat up every day, and then I'd get beat up at home.
  
  I started to wonder why I never even thought about killing myself. I guess I never thought of suicide as an option, and personally, I wouldn't have blamed myself if I did try to kill myself. Getting the crap beaten out of me everyday, shaking uncontrollably, and the PTSD probably should've drove me to suicide, and it probably would have if all this had continued for another year or two. At age 13, I never even thought about death. All I did was rely on Jehovah to protect me, and he didn't.
  
  Even if I had failed in attempting suicide, I probably would have gotten some help from people who wouldn't beat the hell out of me, or tell me to "throw your burden on Jehovah". I may have recieved some REAL help for all these problems.
  
  It's pretty bad that I'm almost regretting not attempting suicide at a time when I hated life. I've thought about that statement "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem", but at the time it didn't seem temporary. I felt trapped by everything - school, home, the JW religion, and there was no end to ANY of it in sight.
  
  Suicide is pointless now that I'm out of the JW religion, out of my parents house, and I now have a family I provide for. But just the realization that I never even thought about it back then just blows me away.
• 
  73

  Who did you/do you want to be when you grew up?

  by Crumpet in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  when i was 9 i wanted to be daisy duke from the dukes of hazzard, but had to put aside the dream when i realised my legs weren't going to ever get any longer.. when i was 12 i wanted to be ghandi, but realised wars wouldnt stop because i missed breakfast.. when i was 16 i decided that by leaving the borg and living fast and hard enough being alice cooper was achievable.. now i'm 32 i think i'd quite like to have the sensuous, striking confidence and certainty of helen mirren when i grow up.. who did you want to be and why?.

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  Nosferatu

  - Who did you/do you want to be when you grew up?"
  
  Little kid raises hand, waits for the microphone, and belts out:
  
  DEEHOBAH!!
• 
  33

  did you enjoy your first cigarette?

  by inkling in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  not only am i not a smoker, i have never even tried smoking of any kind (besides a weird .

  half hearted attempt at smoking blackberry tea from a homemade wooden pipe.

  friends of mine who smoke, besides the complicated layers of guilt, talk about a basic .

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  Nosferatu

  I found smoking kinda pointless until I inhaled. When you're not addicted to cigarettes, inhaling the smoke makes you feel light-headed and mellow, and that's what I loved about cigarettes. Unfortunately, it goes away when you continue smoking and you just end up with a stupid addiction.
  
  I would love something that duplicates that feeling, but doesn't get you addicted.
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  37

  Songs you think are "romantic".

  by avishai in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  http://youtube.com/watch?v=iwj2izqtnhi.

  of course, your mileage may vary.

  my favorite "romantic" movie is probably "so i married an axe murderer.

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  Nosferatu

  Hollies - The Air That I Breathe
  
  Not really much else I'd consider as "romantic".