Posts by Nosferatu

7

Journal of a JW - Part 5 of 5

by Nosferatu in

part 4 is here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/152743/1.ashx .

june 23/93 .

dear journel, .

Part 4 is here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/152743/1.ashx

June 23/93

Dear Journel,

I officially anounce, this evening. the birth Annette and Howards brand new baby boy. He doesen't have a name yet but I know they have to name before they can take him home. The new person was born at 7 am, I recived the news when I got homeafter work. I floated all the way to the hospital, it was only as I held him, as he fell asleep in my arms, that these rush of feelings filled me. I don't know just what they were but they were strong. I kept wanting to feel someing but I could'nt and I don't know why. I feel ashamed to type that. Knowledge, understanding, realization, responsibilityand other feelings that I could't express because Annette's relatives were there. I think she realized I wanted I wanted to talk so she asked me to come tomarrow after work. I want to but she and I both realize I cant and I wont see the baby after today for the next few months. The sad part is I do want to see the baby again. So much for being the favored aunt, but this is someing I mew would happen from the begining.

Dear Journel,

I realize I should have typed in this sooner but my brain hasen't been there. YOu see there are other things that occupy my mind such as studing and passing my begginers driving test ( this happend on Friday Aug.27/93 at 3:30 pm) and having my first driving lesson this evening at 5pm till 6:30 pm. My brain is fried to say the leased. I never thought that I would be getting my lisence I still can't believe it and I don't know what to do or thing. You know I can't even think. My feelings are all jumbbled and crazy, I feel overwhelmed and confused , scared and grown-up. Grown-up is a good term, a mile stone in life and all that a stone I never thought I would ever reach. The events of the past weeks have left me with the feeling of awe and amasementat myself and the potential of it all. I only hope it has Jehovahs blessings and guidence, only time will tell.

Dear Journel,

There hasen't been a real reason to type in this for a long time but that doesn't mean that alot hasn't happened. I realize that I only type when there is a problem that I can't solve or want to save thoughts of events, not the reason I got this. Last night I went to the ballet for the first time, it was "Sleepng Beauty" and I loved every minute. Lana, from work has agreed to study with me and is making great progress. In the course of a few weeks I have managed to get a sheparding call for Wed. of this week. It's in responce to a request fpr help I made to Br. Navarro when I told him about the child abuse my parents put me throughas a child, they feel one is necessary to help the healing progress. I'm not to crazy about the whole thing and dought if it will do much good but I want to ease their minds so I have agread to go through with it. Good night

Dear Journel,

There is an old sayingthat time flys when your having fun, and that has certaintly been the case since Oct. On Wed. Nov. 17/93 I took and passed my road test, twith only 3 mistakes and almost running over the tester. I then proceeded to float home. Made the decission to quite Doubletex by April....but still haven't found another job. Rebecca asked me to be there when she delivered her baby, which she did on Feb. 14/94 at 11:23 pm after a very long and hard birth. I was the first to hold Jeramy Smith whom I named. On Feb. 17/94 I broke two middle fingers at work ( the detailes of such I don't feel like getting into right now ) and I am on workers commpensation for at least 3 to 5 weeks. Rebecca has agreed to study with me, and I hope to have the 3rd study within the next week. So I will have 2 studies to deal with, both with emotional problems like me. Aurthor and I have been getting into fights or arguements alot lately as there isn't much hope of us getting together in the future. I syill haven't hade the shepardinh call yet and I don't think I will in the future eithor....... So you see that life with me has been anything be dull, in fact I can't keep up with it. I have onlt typed in the facts about what has been happening to me, can you imagine how long this would be if I typed in how I thought and felt about it all? If I had to sum it all up the word I would use would be CONFUSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

51

First rock concert

by JK666 in

i have recently talked with other members on jwd about the first time they went to a concert.

it was interesting the different choices of artists, and the age we were when we finally went to one.. my first was after i got my driver's license, so i was 16 years old.

i went to see a concert with black oak arkansas, foghat, and montrose (when sammy hagar was just a pup).

Nosferatu

- "i think my first real good rock concert was "savatage". "

Hall of the Mountain King! Man, you really DID turn apostate!

Tonight, I'm off to a Honeymoon Suite concert. Last time I saw them was in '01 opening for Rik Emmett, and they kick his ass.

6

That Slacker Farkel

by Island in

jw
friends

where is the small man?

lol .

has he died or what?

Nosferatu

Uh oh. Must be one of his ex's looking for some money. Or it's someone from Bethel offering him money to put a cork in it.

6

Journal of a JW - Part 4 of 5

by Nosferatu in

part 3 is here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/152652/1.ashx .

april 12/93 .

dear journel, .

Nosferatu

- "And that guy she's interested in - what a jerk!"

That's the asshole who didn't finish my roof.

6

Journal of a JW - Part 4 of 5

by Nosferatu in

part 3 is here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/152652/1.ashx .

april 12/93 .

dear journel, .

Nosferatu

Part 3 is here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/152652/1.ashx

Dear Journel,

Despite the fact that things have been crazy the past few days, it's good to type in here. My feelings are mixed as I thpye this evening, for you see I had my first study with the Pollocks, among other things. It felt wiered,strainge, confusing and scary all at the same time. The changes I have deen macking thes3e days are numerious and have been spred over short period of time. From encourageing Natasha Hicks, taking her out in service to visiting sick ones in the hospital to going out more in the service, to agreeing to join a family study, to questing the brother who hasn't been conductung the study. I have joined the Pollocks on their family study on Monday nights so you see I have alot to be thank ful for. I am starting to wonder how long this is going to last because I have gone this way before and eventualy I let eveyone down. Some times I scare myself with my thoughts.

Dear Journel,

I always thought that when I got spiritualy strong that things would be easier and that I would be busy helping others, boy have I got alot to learn. For one thing I rarely have time to my self, though some think I'm feeling sorry for myself, I'm not I just have a new set of problems and challenges that I didn't think I'd have. I'm busy 7 days a week, there's never a dull moment. There are times when I feel overwhelmed and I start to wonder if I'm accually making a difference as I look at my personel study that gets left collecting dust or the sewing that needs to be done or the house work that needs to be done or other things that needs to be done, it can get overwhelming sometimes. I must admit I enjoy doing these things for Jehovah and the thought of doing more in the service is a joy and helps keep me steady when things get rough at work, which thay have been lately. I have been asked to tack on a Bible study with a recovering alcaholic so that is to require even more of a change. Brenda and Peter have worned me about keeping a balance and I still depend on themfor stability in my personel life. The changes that I have been making have been happening fast and steady this past while it's hard to keep up but there is so much to do. I sincerly hope I can keep up.

Dear Journel,
Today has been one very tiring day not to mention confusing. I say that because of what has happened today. I when out with a brother in the service whom I feel an attraction too, unfortunately he doesn't feel the same, and he told me so in many different ways. Comments to some of my questions as well as the topics he brought up such as weight and how he feels about it on women, nothing direct or hurtful but to the point. I'm thankful for that, he made me see how silly I have been lately without emberrising me. I only hope he will consider friendship instead, because I realize I'm not ready for anything else yet with anyone. I have a problem with teaching others so I'm hoping he will help me with that instead. I feel comfortable in talking with him and he reminds me of my fleshly brother in Toronto, whom I don't know very well at all.I hope it all works out in the end and I hope that the sister he is interested in will respond to him and join him here in the service.

Also I have been tacking Natasha out in the service and have descussed with her parents about studing the Live Forever book with her. I haven't heard fron them yet. I have started to get her ready to enter the Theocratic Ministey School, we have been preparing a talk together and will present it to the family when we are finished though we have a deadline of the week of the 17th. I should go I'm tired and have to be up for service tomarrow and get Ingred up, I'm trying to encourage her to get out in the ministry as well. Goodnight.

Dear Journel,

I have come to realise that there are some things you jusr can't change no matter what. Timw have a funny way of sneaking up on you and catching you off guard to the point you don't know if you are coming or going. I say this because of experience.ie helping Natasha Hicks, and Art Mc. First Natasha, alot of things have been happening with her, she isn't responding to me so I decided to go to her mother and discuss it with her[ which I now feel was a mistake] and I am now very confusing. As for Art, that is another story. I know that there is nothing that is going to changein our relationship [us becoming anything other than freinds] but I am now convinced that the attitudes of others or him. I now don't feel comfortable around him or feel I should have anything to do with him, a good relationship gone down the tubes.

41

The Red Hot Chili Peppers- Your Favorite Songs or Albums from Them ?

by flipper in

jw
friends

music fans !

here is one of the more popular groups from the last 8 years or so !

my personal favorite group as of right now that is actively recording and playing still !

Nosferatu

Knock Me Down

Johnny Kick A Hole In The Sky

Higher Ground

Scar Tissue

4

Journal of a JW - Part 3 of 5

by Nosferatu in

part 2 is here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/152631/1.ashx .

march 3/93 .

dear journel, .

Nosferatu

Part 2 is here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/152631/1.ashx

March 3/93

Dear Journel,

Dispite the fact I haven't typed in this I have need this Journel.

As regards my last entry, things have gotten worse. Victor hasen't phoned to apologised to me, in fact I have only gotten one obsseen phone call in the middle ofthe day. Anntte thinks I'm stupid and I honestly think I have lost a friend ship with Victor, for good. This may not seem like alot but I don't have that manz frj__Y___jd$D_¦"hT_d-_bl-m__K_KhN+_Y_MY__JY+Y¦_G_K+_Y__JI_J+¦_J__NZ+KhNJ_+_HG_
K_YK_MY__JYJMZNt

(This entry was cut short by a corrupted sector on the floppy disk)

Dear Journel,

There are days when I feel I've got things firgured out emotionaly, mentaly. But It's amazing what just one wrong word,phrase, or action sends my supervisor speaks that makes me question my very existance and my attitude. I'm having trouble sleeping tonight. I thought that if I type it out I might feel better. As always my problems centers around work. One wrong movement sends my boss into a fighting mode. I feel terrible, I have bad cold and I did something very stupid at work. I motioned to Bill hold on a moment when he wanted to see me about something. Later when, I need something to do he questiond me about whether or not I deserved to even have more work. I did know what he was getting at, that is till now. I insulted him, seems trivial but this is Bill we are talking about. I can't seem to shake this dredful feeling of hopelessness. You know the very reason I type in this is to express my feelings and the only timr I think of anything is when I'm at work not when I'm sitting at the computer. I truely don't know what is going to happen on Monday but I do know that Bill hasen't fired me yet, maybe Monday, who knows I trurely think that the brady is getting to me. I also know that I won't stop thinking about this till Monday. What will happen, maybe Bill will be human and understand why I did as I did and forgive me or at the least not hold it against me, which isn't very likely I'm afraid. So till then good night Journel till tomarrow.

Dear Journel,

Things have been kind of crazy lately so that is why I haven't typed in this for so long. Well, alot has happend for starters I been sick for the past 2 weeks causing me to miss most of my meetings and service.

I have had 2 invitations to study in a family unit. I was afraid to accapt but after talking to Brenda Pollock I realize it would be stupid to turn it down. I'm also feeling better about going to the elders in Belmoral because I found out that they have helped a brother who has the same problems that I do, they arn't afraid to deal with the problems that he has.

Also I have recieved an invatiaion to join the Lansdown cong. in one of there get to gethers in 2 weeks by none other then Reta Drake herself. As usual they asked if I were still in the trueth but I hopefully assured them that I still have the trueth still in me, I'm still hanging on. I said that I would. It's on a Sunday and I do go over to moms afterward. I'm scared to do it but I must try.

Dear Journel,

I just got off the phone with my father I love talking to him, he makes me feel better even though I feel terrible. These past 3 weeks I have had a terrible cold and this past weekend I have been down sick in bed with it, and I mean with the whole shabbang. Barffing, chills, fever, exploding head, the works. Mom told me to stay at home if I feel that bad, I guess I took offence at first but I can understand her reasoning now. She felt that Bill's health was moe important than my sickness, the same old game as before or that ever was, there is nothing she can do for me, I am an adult I should be able to take care of myself especially since I live so far from them. There are time's when I feel like I should give up with trying to keep this family communicating, so very tired.

193

Stupidest thing a JW ever told you

by Nosferatu in

jw
friends

what is the stupidest thing a jw ever told you?

we all know that they say a lot of stupid things, but what really topped the cake?.

for me, it was an elder telling me i was progressing really well when my meeting attendance was down and my field service hours were slipping.

Nosferatu

Is it me, or have some of my old posts been resurrected from the cybergrave? :D

35

If you had a Time Machine would you stop yourself being a Witness???

by Witness 007 in

what if you wen't back in time and stopped your mother from opening the door to the witnesses...and your family never came into the truth!!

what if you risked changing everything else in your life...not having kid's or the same marriage partner...would it be worth it.

Nosferatu

I didn't really have a choice. But I can't say I regretted the decisions I made with regards to not getting baptized.

If I have any regrets, it's that I didn't rebel more.

51

First rock concert

by JK666 in

i have recently talked with other members on jwd about the first time they went to a concert.

it was interesting the different choices of artists, and the age we were when we finally went to one.. my first was after i got my driver's license, so i was 16 years old.

i went to see a concert with black oak arkansas, foghat, and montrose (when sammy hagar was just a pup).

Nosferatu

My first was KISS back in 1997. What a great show! Everyone walked out of there choking on gunpowder and smoke. My second was Quiet Riot. After that, I lost track. I've been to LOTS of concerts. I really prefer the ones held in a bar as opposed to a large venue. The shows are more fun in a bar.