Nosferatu

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Posts by Nosferatu

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  32

  Why do you HATE to cook?

  by GentlyFeral in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  me, i love cooking.

  hearing someone say "i hate to cook" is like hearing "i hate being literate," or "i hate being able to walk.

  " i just don't get it.. but there must be reasons - enlighten me, ok?.

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  Nosferatu

  I HATE cooking for one. It seems almost pointless for me, unless it's something really simple.
  
  When I cook for myself and other people, I REALLY enjoy it! Especially when I'm cooking on the barbeque. The barbeque is the only thing I really enjoy cooking on. Such a MAN thing! Here in Canada, I'll start up the barbeque when it's -40 degrees outside and snowing like hell. The only thing that sucks is it's difficult to find barbeque accessories (lighters, metal brushes) in the middle of winter, so I have to stock up on that stuff in the summer.
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  2

  Journal of a JW - Part 2 of 5

  by Nosferatu in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  part 1 is here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/152566/1.ashx .

  dear journel, .

  there is always so much i want to say in this thing, during the day that is, but come the time to type it down and i forget.

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  Nosferatu

  Part 1 is here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/152566/1.ashx
  
  Jan.19/93
  
  Dear Journel,
  
  There is always so much I want to say in this thing, during the day that is, but come the time to type it down and I forget.
  
  As always I worry about my job, I try not to but with the new legislation it's hard not to worry. I'm not all that sure that I'm doing that good a job at work, becoming lax as it were. Bill made the comment that I was the problem not the machine, it struck home faster than all the filthy words he has used in the past. The fact that he didn't yell at me made me think, alot.
  
  Other topics that keep me attention is that of my mother. I finaly went to the doctors and asked about getting psychiatric help coaping with Bill [ poppers] molesting me. Dr. Forten suggested that I try another means of getting the help needed. A book that deals spacificaly with getting through it and councelling, of course. I was greatly relieved at this and proceeded to tell my mother about it. To say the least she wasnt impressed about it and got quite upset about it. Staring to, by her body language, denying the damage he caused was real. In fact the responce of the ones I talked to about it was ampathetic at best. I try not to get upset but it's hard. You would think that they would be happy for me, they only said that it was about time. So begins the long road to recovery.
  
  I only hope that I will get the sleep I need to face the day with the energy lacking for the past few days. I must remind you,Journel, that this is only a brief review of the past few days and says nothing of the mood swings that have plegde me in the mean time. So good night dear Journel.
  
  
  
  
  
  Dear Journel,
  
  I'm sorry that I haven't typed anything in this thing for awhile but the day's have gone by very quickly. I have been so much about the past I have lost track of the present, of which I am very confused completely. There are times when the past is so vivid and real but there are times when I just don't remember. How do I start the healing process when I can't sort the facts from the fiction or exadurations of the facts to fit the pain, or phantom pain, I feel. I don't want to loose tract of the present. Only by sorting these feelings out can I continue the what I worked at for the past 4 years. They say that time heals all wounds, and I hope that there is still time for the healing. The reality of the stiuation slamms in my face every time I try to talk to others about it, they freeze and brush it off. I end up feeling confused and alone with no where to turn. In fact this whole period of my life will be alone, that is when I get frustrated and angey at others since they have promised to be there for me.
  
  The other pressures of work and home are always there, so I constanly pray for help to cope and endure. Jah. is the one person I can alaways go to and that thought is a constant comfort to me because when I pray I'm not alone.Good night Journel.
  
  
  
  
  
  Dear Journel,
  
  The past few days have gone by very quickly and I thought it was about time I typed something here.
  
  The feelings come on so strongly some times that I can't handle them. I think that I write good peotry in my head then forget it to type it down.
  
  Other times the stresses of life take over and I find it difficult to handle. I end up neglecting to type. I have to get my taxes done and I am going to have a fight with Paramount Acceptence to get my account smoothed out. I intend to get ugly if possible. I should have known then to have anything to do with that company, the last time I got the official run-around with them and I'm not in the mood for it anymore so they had better not mess with me tomarrow.
  
  I hate my job and my bosses hate me, though they have not found a reason to fire me yet, but tomarrow is another day so god night.
  
  
  
  
  
  Dear Journel,
  
  There are times when I understand men and then there are times when I don't, like now. When you encounter reality which I did this evening, it's only then I don't, at all.
  
  It seem that every time I encounteer Victor I find myself tonge tied and unable to answer any question at all, misunderstandings occure and I'm always [ and I mean always] on the apology end. I say that the next time will be different but it never is. YOu see I was hoping that I could relax and unwinde tonight.Now I reaize you can't do it with people I don't know. I was uncom@ertable ,uncertain, and very tired. I shouldn't have gone, and I won't do it again. The bowling was great but the people were not. In otherwords I messed up baddly due to being tired. But on to other busness..... I have been on a self inprovement kick and I havent been getting anyware with anything lately. I'm macking two dresses for someone that I thought might mack them feel better but am told that I practacly begged to do so. In my oppinion I didn't beg.
  I often think my verson of reality is completely different from others. This leads to confusion and missunderstanding on my part. I tend to withdrawl into myself macking the situation worse.
  I deffinatly feel at a disatvantage when it comes to Annette,Haward, and Victor. Withe the risk of sounding petty I realy don't want to play with them any more. At least not till I get my head on straight. I don't need the added hassel and don't need to be accused of being "read like a book" dispite what Victor says. Everything in my being want's me to phone him up and tell him that he dosen't know me at all, only what I want hom to see, I'm a completely different person from the one I let him see. But courage prevents me, or the lack of words.
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  125

  Is the Bible Just B.S.?

  by shamus in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  do you think that god enjoys killing people?

  it sure sounds like it to me; jw doctrine more or less scared me into thinking that god is going to kill all persons whom he/she thinks is not doing his will.

  my question is, how can god kill someone for not being "christian", or following the bible out of sheer ignorance?

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  Nosferatu

  - "My life is a lot different - much more focused, much less bull, much more positive. I've been focused on work, my outdoor activities, and real life in general. "
  
  That's really good to hear. You should send me your email addy someday :)
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  125

  Is the Bible Just B.S.?

  by shamus in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  do you think that god enjoys killing people?

  it sure sounds like it to me; jw doctrine more or less scared me into thinking that god is going to kill all persons whom he/she thinks is not doing his will.

  my question is, how can god kill someone for not being "christian", or following the bible out of sheer ignorance?

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  Nosferatu

  SHAMUS!!!
  
  Nice of you to pop in! How are ya doing?
  
  Yeah, I'm still here :)
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  4

  Journal of a JW - Introduction

  by Nosferatu in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  it's quite rare (or even non-existant) that we get to read the feelings and experiences of a faithful jw who is still in, and has not been influenced by apostate literature.

  however, i have in my posession a journal written by a jw; a single woman in her 20s named kim.

  i came into posession of her journal back in the mid-90s when i was still in myself.

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  Nosferatu

  Part 1 is right here:
  
  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/152566/1.ashx
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  52

  In Memory of Puternut

  by Nosferatu in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  after reading the news about puternut, i decided to compile some of his posts into one, so we can all share in his memory.

  there are many ups and downs listed below, but i ended it off with a post he made to all of us who helped him during his difficult times.

  puternut is starting his life over, because i had nothing left, and needed to move on.

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  Nosferatu

  Oh man...
  
  Thanks for the bump.
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  7

  Journal of a JW - Part 1 of 5

  by Nosferatu in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  dear journel, .

  this is my first official entry into this thing.

  i tried once before but it didn't work.

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  Nosferatu

  - "Nosferatu, you seem to indicate that you knew this woman. Can you shed some light on what happened to her?"
  
  It will get a bit clearer in the next installment. The JW issues are a bit slow coming, but they really dominate the last couple of installments.
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  7

  Journal of a JW - Part 1 of 5

  by Nosferatu in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  dear journel, .

  this is my first official entry into this thing.

  i tried once before but it didn't work.

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  Nosferatu

  Crumpet, it's not my diary, it's the diary of someone named Kim. I just happen to have the only existing copy of it.
  
  I wrote an introduction about that here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/152564/1.ashx
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  10

  What to expect of the upcoming Memorial?

  by Shadow1 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  can anyone tell me what to expect of the upcoming "memorial"?

  i know it is on march 22nd, but what will actually take place?

  is this something that my wife will be away at, all day again?

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  Nosferatu

  - "Is this something that my wife will be away at, all day again? Or is it basically just getting together with family for dinner and such? Should I just plan on doing my "own thing" for the day? "
  
  
  You mean you haven't been invited yet?
  
  Your wife will get to pray for a glass of wine, then look at it. They will then pray for some crackers, and then look at them. Then everybody goes home, except for the elders who get sloshed on all the wine that didn't get drank.
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  23

  Apart from "My Book Of Bible Stories" and the "Paradise" book?

  by Crumpet in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  call it my anal retentious streak, but i've rated every book i've ever read since i was 7. i had phases of favourite writers.. i was an enid blyton fan - the faraway tree, famous five, secret seven, mallory towers series.

  then i got hooked on franklin w dixon's hardy boys and judy blume's eye opening, straight talking stories about growing up which really taught me everything i knew about what life was like for a normal girl not growing up in the jw world.

  i started reading agatha christie when i was 9 and remember taking the maximum number of books i could from the mobile library van that came to our village and being as impatient for its fortnightly return as i was for the afternoon icecream van.

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  Nosferatu

  My childhood reading mostly consisted of "My Book of Bible Studies" and "Mommy, What's Drunk?"
  
  That's probably why I don't read many books.