Dawn, my heart goes out to you.
I believe the Jehovah Witness faith attracts many people who have been abused, or feel inadequate from their past. This faith makes us feel special, and hopeful, and it seems like a gentle ,caring religion at first.
I jumped in and did it all too, pioneering, all meetings, etc, till I just burned out and exposed myself as a imperfect human being, then all of the sudden my fellow witnesses weren't interested in me anymore, It was totally conditional.
Jesus came to those that were "trodden" and "loaded" down cause the pharisses were making them feel like dirt.
Remember who Jesus came for and who he refreshed. He came for the sinners, not the righteous, and he said, it was the sick that needed a physician.
The true God and Jesus aside from the WT welcomes us in our imperfections, and wants to heal us with love and mercy.
Fruitcake.