Illuminated

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Posts by Illuminated

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  37

  feeling of hopelessness and fear

  by 060702015 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  do you have feelings of hopelessness and fear for not having a religion?.

  do you envy happy jehovah witnesses and living their lives carefree?.

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  Illuminated

  Touching on what LisaRose stated, it sounds like you may be dealing with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) as well, which many ex-members of mind control cults deal with. It can come in cycles throughout the years until you heal fully, whether on your own or through the guidance of a professional therapist.

  The peace we seek is already within us. It's a matter of connecting with ourselves and building the foundation starting from within and extending out. Not, outside extending in. It's a lesson for most of us to learn, some don't and then go on through life reaching outward, pulling things in to feel better until that job, partner, home, religion, drug or alcohol choice collapses and we hit rock bottom coming to this realization.
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  37

  feeling of hopelessness and fear

  by 060702015 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  do you have feelings of hopelessness and fear for not having a religion?.

  do you envy happy jehovah witnesses and living their lives carefree?.

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  Illuminated

  Carefree? I'm an outsider looking in, never been one and the organization and lifestyle makes me feel claustrophobic, wanting to run for my life.
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  28

  What Convinced you to Leave?

  by LaurenM in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i've been posting here a lot, but these last few weeks have been very difficult for me.

  anyways, lately, i've been thinking about confessing everything i've done to the elders and going back, but deep down, i don't really think it's the truth...so my question is, what convinced you it wasn't the truth and that leaving wasn't a horrible decision that everyone in the truth makes it out to be?

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  Illuminated

  I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.Those elders you confess to may very well be pedophiles themselves, or most likely covering up the crime of a pedophile. Have you watched the Australian Royal Commission, or read up on the massive pedophilia problems and how the elders keep it from the members and carry on as though everything is fine? They aren't just stories, I have indirect experience with it.

  Would you really want anyone, especially those type of people having power over you? If you do end up in it again, you'll most likely end up leaving again. Read a book called "Combatting Cult Mind Control" by Steve Hassan. You'll find yourself relating to every page.
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  19

  Royal Commission taking our emails to heart

  by wannaexit in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  during the proceedings of australian royal commission, as many of you, i also took time to share with the office of mr stewart, my thoughts and perspective on what what being said and not said by the witness elders on the stand.

  within a day a received a reply from office of angus stewart thanking and appreciating the insight from those on the "inside".

  yesterday i received a further email that my correspondence was passed on to case study 29 (jehovah's witnesses) team for their consideration.. it sounds like they are taking all our collective experience and knowledge into account as the commission continues its work..

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  Illuminated

  Yes, I'm a nonJW with a cult victim loved one who was sexually abused. I'm not in Austrilia.

  They called me back and wanted further details including the exact congregation address of where it took place which is in the US.
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  21

  Did You Ever Hear a Non-Witness Opinion After They'd Attended Their first Meeting?

  by snugglebunny in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i was about 12. i took a friend along to a meeting and he said he didn't mind learning stuff but it was a shame it was so boring.. i was about 14. i had my very own bible study and took him along.

  he just kept whispering about the girls there that he fancied.. i was in my early 20's.

  i took along a lady that i knew.

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  Illuminated

  Before knowing much about the cult, my first thought was how suppressed the collective feel of the people/room (kingdom hall) felt. It literally felt like something heavy was weighing it down. The experience was very shallow, fake, rigid, controlled in every aspect without anything free flowing, and boring to the point where I caught myself tuning out.

  As for the material they presented along with the magazines, major red flags went off. The writings gave an air of manipulation, talking down on you as though you're stupid, along with a tone of control. It reminded me of abusive personalities right away. I bailed not too long after.
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  23

  Help me Out Here

  by vinman in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i've been out about 9 months.

  and yes i am still obsessed with anti-watchtower material.

  i've been married 23 years.

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  Illuminated

  Try a bunch of new things. Explore, experiment and you'll find your way and a passion awakened.
• 
  70

  If you could name the theme of an assembly what would it be???

  by karter in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  divine boredom.

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  Illuminated

  The Guardians of the D$$$ctrine.
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  10

  Please, share your abuse story.

  by Aprostate Exam in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  greetings to all, i am new to this site and am enjoying the topics.

  briefly, my family suffered my older/deceased brother's molestation when he was 13, in the congregation.

  to this day, my mother still defends the elders that dealt with this situation.

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  Illuminated

  Aprostate Exam, thank you for sharing your heartbreaking story. It hits home. How did your brother pass?

  truthseekriam It is because of your love for your daughter in standing up for her, that's saved her from further traumatization. Thank you for being an excellent mother.
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  26

  Buddhism Anyone?

  by LaurenM in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  so, i have recently been delving in buddhism and i must say it all makes sense!

  like, the philosophies and ideas are what i've always believed but could never put a name to.

  for example, they don't believe in god, they teach acceptance of all faiths, that peace can be achieved - not by changing other people - but by changing yourself, that everyone has goodness in themselves, that happiness can be gained internally (not externally as a gift from god), and that life is temporary so we should enjoy it!

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  Illuminated

  If you want to believe in it, believe in it, yet read Combatting Cult Mind Control before you choose to fully step into a belief system as any beliefs can be taken and a mind control cult formed out of it.

  If you want to believe what resonates with you and discard the rest, then do so. There are different levels of Buddhism, mixed in with certain aspects left out. Even then take different beliefs that make sense to you and create your own, for yourself. You don't have to squeeze yourself in a rigid box.
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  71

  What went through your mind when you saw this Picture?

  by John Aquila in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

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  Illuminated

  That they look like JW's/paradise, but it's another cult?