A man walked into a bar with a paper bag. He sat down and placed the bag on the counter.
The bartender walked over to the man and asked,"What's in the bag?"
The man reached into the bag and pulled out a little man, about 9" high and set him on the counter. Then, he reached back into the bag and pulled out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well. Finally, he reached into the bag and pulled out a tiny piano bench, which he placed in front of the piano.
The little man sat down at the piano, and started playing a beautiful piece by Mozart.
"Where on earth did you get that?" asked the bartender.
The man responded by reaching into the paper bag and pulling out a magic lamp. He handed the lamp to the bartender and said, "Here. Rub it."
The bartender rubbed the lamp. Suddenly there was a plume of smoke and a beautiful genie stood before him.
"I will grant you one wish... Just one wish... each person is only allowed one!"
The bartender got real excited, and without hesitating he said, "I want a million bucks!"
A few moments later, a duck walked into the bar. It was soon followed by another duck, then another. Pretty soon, the entire bar was filled with ducks and they kept coming!
The bartender turned to the man and said, "Y'know, I think your Genie's' a little bit deaf. I asked for a million bucks,
not a million ducks."
"No sh**," said the man, "Do you really think I asked for a 9 inch Pianist!"
Posts by Dansk
-
53TIME FOR ANOTHER LAUGH!
by Dansk indon't step on the ducks !!
three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
when they get there, st. peter says, "we only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!
-
-
Dansk
-
53
TIME FOR ANOTHER LAUGH!
by Dansk indon't step on the ducks !!
three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
when they get there, st. peter says, "we only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!
-
-
Dansk
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM ' He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM .. Wake up.' Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?' 'Yep,' the wife replied , ' in-laws'
-
34
WHERE DO YOU POST FROM? ANY PARTICULAR TIME?
by Dansk inwhen i started posting this morning it struck me that i was in the company of others around the world who were just getting up or going to bed.
one can actually see when the brits have hit the forum - like now .
do you post from home or work or both?.
-
-
Dansk
BB
A pleb like me
For a pleb you make some damn good posts!
Ian
-
34
WHERE DO YOU POST FROM? ANY PARTICULAR TIME?
by Dansk inwhen i started posting this morning it struck me that i was in the company of others around the world who were just getting up or going to bed.
one can actually see when the brits have hit the forum - like now .
do you post from home or work or both?.
-
-
Dansk
So my 9:26 am is 3:26 pm, if I have added right
I'd say you're right.
Ian
-
44
New Generation Understanding
by momzcrazy inhello everyone, i am new here and newly freed from the snare of wtbs.
my sister, also newly freed, said our mom told her at the annual meeting there was a new "understanding" on the generation confusion.
it is now the annointed that will not pass away.. has anyone else heard this?
-
-
Dansk
Hi Brant,
What you say is true, of course, but I was mightily encouraged by the fact that the couple I alluded to were elderly. Most eldery JWs, even if the truth about Watchtower hit them straight between the eyes, would still not leave because they are now "comfortable" and dislike change. The man may have a high position in the org, or children and even grandchildren the couple are fearful of losing. In old age this is probably harder to accept (you and I know it's never easy).
However, we only have to see the amount of newbies on JWD and their being educated as to Watchtower's flip-flops of the past. The internet, as I have said many times, is Watchtower's greatest enemy. The younger generation today are very computer literate and many thrive after an education. When older ones join them in their exit we have an organisation holding on by its finger nails.
Oh, sure, some die-hards will always support the org, likely because of position and/or fear of losing prestige/family/friends, etc. The flip-flopping is harder to hide these days and the internet exposes JW history, something I knew nothing about when I got baptised. I'd heard about 1975 prior to getting baptised but was always told it was a lie spread by apostates and that Watchtower had never actually said it was Armageddon year! I now know the truth
Ian
-
34
WHERE DO YOU POST FROM? ANY PARTICULAR TIME?
by Dansk inwhen i started posting this morning it struck me that i was in the company of others around the world who were just getting up or going to bed.
one can actually see when the brits have hit the forum - like now .
do you post from home or work or both?.
-
-
Dansk
Hi Jag:
For some reason I cant explain, I hardly ever watch tv.
We have Sky - over 400 channels - and I'm still bored to death with it all. I'll watch a good film, documentary or football (soccer) match if my team, Manchester United, is playing otherwise I'm on here or reading.
Have you noticed how many people log on early in the morning?
As has already been stated, one can see who's getting up by the sudden flurry of posts.
Ian
-
41
My cousin died yesterday.
by nicolaou inhe was 43, just a few months older than me.
his kidneys failed him when he was just 15 and he'd been on dialysis ever since.
a couple of transplants had failed in the early years and his body deteriorated after that.
-
-
Dansk
Hi Mike,
Sorry to hear about George. 43 is awfully young to die - but he's now free of all suffering.
My thoughts are with you.
Ian
-
34
WHERE DO YOU POST FROM? ANY PARTICULAR TIME?
by Dansk inwhen i started posting this morning it struck me that i was in the company of others around the world who were just getting up or going to bed.
one can actually see when the brits have hit the forum - like now .
do you post from home or work or both?.
-
-
Dansk
I'm going to bed now so perhaps Americans and Australians can post.
G'night ALL,
Ian
-
38
Attn: All Non-Yankee JWDers! Did the U.S. origin of JWs irritate you?
by Open mind injust curious.
.
open mind.
-
-
Dansk
It's a deal!
Ian
-
38
Attn: All Non-Yankee JWDers! Did the U.S. origin of JWs irritate you?
by Open mind injust curious.
.
open mind.
-
-
Dansk
I think "irritate" is the wrong word. When I first started studying I asked why the headquarters was in the USA and was told it was chosen by Jehovah likely because it had a bill of rights and so was protected (so why didn't I say if Jehovah was so great he wouldn't need his org protected in such a way?).
Anyway, no, I wasn't irritated by the org hailing from America - I was more irritated by the magazines not using correct spelling, such as: color for colour and thru for through, etc.
Ian