The power of prayer was one thing that helped me wake up a little. I sat there thinking when was the last time I really had a prayer answered? When was the last time I ever felt a spiritual connection to my heavenly father in the sky? Answer. Never.
I always assumed that I must be the odd one out, that there was something wrong with me. But I tried my best to be a good person. I tried my best to serve Jehovah no matter how insufficient I felt. I assumed that Jehovah was blessing me because I was going from Mic handler to MS to Literature Servant to Accounts Servant to giving Public Talks. He was giving me so many privileges. He was blessing me in other ways than having this personal connection. But then I realized what assume does - it makes an ASS out of U and ME.
Someone actually has to be there for your prayers to be heard and answered. Otherwise it's like the tooth fairy when a child puts a tooth under the pillow and finds a dollar in its place the next morning. The child believes, but it doesn't make it real. Someone on earth deceived the child - for better or worse.
Same today. We may pray. Sometimes we may even feel that a prayer was answered. But in reality we were deceived. If it wasn't plain coincidence, we probably had a parent (or some other person / good samaritan) looking out for us answering that prayer. Just because someone takes care of one of our needs (answers a prayer) doesn't make God any more real than the tooth fairy.
I sincerely want to believe, but I can't find sufficient evidence.
