Daniel1555

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Posts by Daniel1555

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  20

  Happy birthday to me

  by azor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i just turned 41 today.

  last year was my first celebration at 40. half my life is lost to this cult and i celebrate by almost losing my job.

  one of the only things i have left.

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  Daniel1555

  Happy Birthday Azor...

  You are still young... how great to be free for the rest of your life....

  And those 41 years were not lost.... these were all experiences who made you courageous and strong...
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  15

  Do witness children have to be obediant to their disfellowshipped parent if the parents are separated.

  by agnosticnow in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  hi.i am disfellowshipped and separated from my jehovahs witness wife and i am having custody problems with my 13 year old daughter.she has been advised by her mother that she does not have to listen to me and so she dictates to me when she comes to stay.it seems i have lost any fatherly authority and my ex wife has given my daughter the ability to go against my wishes in regards to custody arrangements.having grown up a witness i understand that even though a parent is disfellowshipped the child must still obey the biblical command to be obedient to there parents.it also teaches that the wife must support her ex husband in regards to parenting.i am trying to find any watchtower/awake articles that support this.in any case i would appreciate any links ,information or advice.. regards pat..

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  Daniel1555

  I am in the same situation, however my son is soon 4 years old.

  Do everything you can to keep contact and have a loving relationship with her. Love between father and daughter is the best way of breaking the indoctrination.

  Send a message to "Driving Force". He has a teenage daughter too and wonderful advice how to go about it.

  I copy paste a thread of him:

  Driving Force

  
  

  I have raised two kids, both girls. The oldest who is now 29 decided when she was 14 that she did not want to go to meetings etc. That was her choice and my wife tried everything to get her to do all the JW stuff etc., I personally never pressured her, after all she was my step daughter and I followed the WT advice and leave discipline to the natural parent. I can tell you, this advice does not work. The step parent should get involved. Anyway that is not the issue here, that was just to give you a little background information.

  
  

  When I learned TTATT and started my fade I needed some support and went and got professional help, much of our discussions were on how to keep my daughter, who is now 15, from becoming a JW.

  
  

  Things not to do:

  
  

  1. Never demand loyalty from your child. A child naturally loves both parents, even an abusive parent, because the child has no way to make comparisons, life's experience is very limited.

  
  

  2. Never talk TTATT to the child, he will not understand and if he goes to meetings with his mother then there is the indoctrination to deal with and will only lead to alienation, and quickly bring up the subject (in the child's mind) about loyalty. "If I stop going to meetings I will upset mom, if I keep going I will upset dad." No child, and a 14 year is still a child, can mentally solve this dilemma, and this will lead to physical symptoms like stomach ache and headache, and even worse. I experienced this with my child, she frequently had headaches and my wife took her to many doctors, and many tests were done. Now that it is clearly defined no more JW stuff for my daughter the headaches have stopped. But reaching that stage was a difficult process for me.

  
  

  3. Never stop the child from doing JW stuff with the other parent. This may sound odd, but it is the right thing to do. The child is probably coerced into doing all the JW stuff and will develop an aversion, this happens to us all and makes us feel trapped, and at some point we look for a way out. Your child will look for a way out and he must see you as a way out.

  
  

  Things to do:

  
  

  4. Offer your child an alternative. This is something that is not so easy to do. I do not mean an alternative religion, but an alternative life-style. Hobbies are a good thing, do it for you-self, and make sure you really enjoy it and let the whole family know, you are enjoying life. Of course you make the offer to your son that he can join you any time he likes, but again make sure you do not bring him into this loyalty question. If he wants to go along with you make sure this what he wants to do and he is not doing it to please you. Offering your child an alternative may even mean moving out and living alone, but enjoying life afterwards and having regular contact with your son so that he can see there is an alternative to JW life.

  
  

  5. Offer yourself as an expert on what is correct and not correct regarding JWism.This means that you know TTATT and just letting your child know that if he wants to know why you think the way you do, he just needs to ask. Never volunteer information without it being asked for.

  
  

  Those are some rules that I worked out with my psychiatrist and applied with my daughter and what are the results?

  
  

  1. By going to the meetings my child saw/heard how I was referred to in the congregation, as an apostate deserving of death, someone even told her I was mentally diseased, but she saw me everyday. I bought a motorcycle and go out regularly. Took up beer-brewing and enjoy the beer every evening. Beekeeping was a hobby I had anyway, but my daughter clearly saw this brought me pleasure. Admittedly none of these things are typically female hobbies, but they showed my daughter that there is a life after the JWs.

  
  

  2. A couple of months ago my wife went on holidays with some JW friends for two weeks, I stayed home and my daughter stayed with me. I allowed my daughter to do all the things that a normal 15 year old would do, there were strict rules that she had to follow for her own safety and I explained clearly why these rules were set, that they were not arbitrary. After the two weeks, she now has a boyfriend, a normal thing for a 15 year old. One of the most profound things she said to me later was, that after spending much time with her boyfriends' family is that "Worldly People" are not bad at all, and she realized that what the WT says about "Worldly People" is really not true, they are very nice. The sincerity she showed when she told me that brought tears to my eyes.

  
  

  3. I decided to move out, see my OP on this. When I told my wife this, she immediately challenged the loyalty of our daughter, "Who do you want to live with?" My daughter decided that she wanted to live with me. Why? Because she does not like the JW way of life.

  
  

  4. My daughter asked about TTATT, so she is now informed, but that was on here terms, when she was ready she asked.

  
  

  I am not happy that my marriage has broken because of religion, but I am very happy that my daughter has made an informed decision against the JWs. Maybe what I have written can help you with your son, I hope it can.
  
• 
  22

  Disfellowshipping Question

  by Elizabeth Thompson in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been a baptized witness for about 30 years.

  from the time i was a kid.

  i've been the only one in my family who is baptized until 15 years later when my mother got baptized.

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  Daniel1555

  I wish you and your husband all the best.

  I don't know if you would be disfellowshipped. I'd say probably not, except if you told them that you had sex before marriage.

  As others have said, you owe the elders no explanation at all.

  It is natural, that you wanna make known to all, that you are happily married.

  I am not sure if keeping it secret would be good for you.

  One possibility would be to don't care about the others and stick to your husband. Then you would see who is your true friends. If a friend would end the friendship with you it is clearly not a true friend.

  And if elders wanna counsel you, just say friendly that you thank them for their concern but that you are fine, and say NO NO NO to further talks about your life.

  When you fade away the people in the congregation will have nearly no contact however they are permitted to talk with you. It would be good to make new friends who accept and love you as you are and who will not throw you away just because you change your views about religion.

  On the long run it is such a wonderful thing to be free and live your own spirituality and live by your conscience.
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  3

  England out of the Eu and now Euro 2016

  by Slidin Fast in

  1. social
  2. current

  iceland, i mean iceland.

  outplayed us in every department.

  this country is not a great place to be at present..

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  Daniel1555

  They won 2 times against the Netherlands in the qualification.

  So that was not a big surprise.
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  7

  Watchtower African Editions

  by universitystudent in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  that’s my first post here.

  i came to this forum site in hope to find an archive of the watchtower magazine including all the african editions.

  i’m currently a student in history and religious studies at the university of fribourg, switzerland.

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  Daniel1555

  Hello and Welcome

  I am living in Bern, very close from you :-)

  Before I left, I attended the Bern English Congregation. I often saw the African editions.

  For your project it might be good to contact the Branch office in Selters Germany.

  I grew up as a JW and left because of conscience reasons and was disfellowshipped because of that.

  If you need first hand information about JWs and JW life and also how to be able to exit, you can contact me. I'd be happy to help, especially as we are living so near.

  Kind regards

  Dani
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  221

  Judge sanctions WTS - $4k per day penalty for not producing sex abuse documents

  by Simon in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  judge sanctions jehovah's witnesses.

  imposes $4000-a-day penalty for not producing documents in sex-abuse case.

  by dorian hargrove, june 24, 2016. a san diego superior court judge has ordered the church of jehovah's witnesses, also known as the watchtower bible and tract society of pennsylvania, to pay $4000 a day for every day that it fails to produce documents requested in a civil lawsuit brought by former parishioner, osbaldo padron, who claims a church elder sexually abused him when he was seven years old.. in a june 23 ruling, expected to be made final today, judge richard strauss admonished the church for willfully ignoring a court order to produce all documents associated with a 1997 body of elders letter that church leaders sent to parishes around the world in a quest to learn about sexual abuse of children by church leaders.. over the course of the past year, the watchtower society and its lawyers have fought hard to keep the letter confidential, claiming that turning over the documents would infringe on the privacy of those mentioned in the letter that were not associated with the case.. in march 2015, the church turned over a heavily redacted version of the letter.

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  Daniel1555

  A copy of that article should be sticked next to every kingdom hall contribution box.
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  28

  Need some help: Existential crisis in full swing

  by Freeandclear in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so is anyone else having an existential crisis after becoming fully awake?

  let me explain.

  about 2 years ago i read coc, still believed and tried to get back in da troof.

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  Daniel1555

  First of all congratulations that you managed your exit of this cult.

  You are free now, free to embrace life and live a life with all its joys, pleasures, problems, doubts according to your conscience and without a set of manmade religious rules.

  Now concerning spirituality or belief in god:

  You don't need to jump to quick answers or solutions. And if you don't know something (if god exists or not) you might leave it open for the moment. It is also good not to know everything and leave it open and meanwhile use your energy for a good cause.

  After leaving the JWs I lost my belief in organised religion, the bible and the god of the bible.

  I can understand when someone sees himself as an atheist or agnostic.

  However I still believe there is a higher force who is behind the natural laws of this universe (or many more) and I tend to believe this force or god is personal too.

  Why do I believe that? My view of the world, life, love and a looking at near death experiences bring me to this conclusion.

  I wish you all the best in your life.
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  21

  go fund me for help those who are shunned

  by poopie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  what do you think?.

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  Daniel1555

  How do you like to help them?
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  10

  What is this I have heard about the new teachings at the RC

  by dogon in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  is there some new teachings i am hearing about, in the disfellow shipping area?.

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  Daniel1555

  You can read in detail on the site jwsurvey.org

  They show a shunning video at the RC and they have a shunning talk where they highlight that they should shun also 'faded' ones who transgress against their rules.
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  16

  I have a plan....

  by DATA-DOG in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  with all of the bat-shit crazy propaganda of late, i'm considering talking to my wife about the cult.

  we have had zero religious discussions for two years.

  the last discussion ended with ,"you have no beliefs, no personal beliefs, because you change your "beliefs" when the wtbts writes an article.

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  Daniel1555

  Hey DD

  Very good idea, that you'll text your daughter that you 'll never shun her. Tell her too, that you'll always be there for her, if she needs to talk, and won't let her go unanswered.

  Maybe you can tell your wife the same. That you will always be there for your daughter, and that you find that video really shocking and that it offended and hurt you deeply. Mention that you would also never shun her (your wife).