Welcome This is my Tigersuit!
I described my feeling and emotions when reading CoC with the exact words "a roller coaster ride". I had feelings of shock, hurt, and anger. I even felt fear and nausea at times. I cried on the Malawi part. I also felt very lonely, in that I couldn't share any of this with my closest friends and loved ones.
Thankfully, I could come here for support. Continue to do the same.