Posts by Zoos

58

If the Watchtower truly collapsed, how would you deal with your JW relatives?

by nicolaou in

jw
friends

imagine the best case scenario.

the watchtower society implodes from within even making final printed admissions that it is voluntarily dismantling it's mission and legally dissolving the corporations.

oh happy day!

Zoos

I don't have any JW relatives. They made that pretty clear.

71

i just wanted to introduce myself and say a big hello to all of my mentally diseased friends.. i say friends because i have been lurking for some time so it feels like home (us lurkers are a bit scared and cautious so it takes a while).

i won't bore you with too many details, but i am a born in, currently serving as the cobe of a congregation.

my wife and i have pioneered for the last 10 years and were shaken awake by that ridiculous 15th july 2013 wt about the generation and 1914.. my wife who is much smarter than me has questioned for years.

Zoos

Okay, we're going to have to set up a field office to process all these new escapees.

Or are WE that field office?

Welcome out, bro!

18

I had sex with my wife but now he’s my brother.

by John Aquila in

golden age 1930 apr 2 p.446.

question: will husband and wife live together after the resurrection is completed, if both are in harmony with god?.

the most that we know is that here will be no children born during the last 100 years of the millinnium (isa.

Zoos

Or... You might become her sister.

What's good for the goose...

--------------------

Just because we all become brothers doesn't mean we can't still enjoy sex. Millions of homos can't be wrong.

79

My Memes

by ozbrad in

jw
friends

i've been using my photoshop skills for good rather than evil.. and it also helps relieve the shunning frustration.. .

.

Zoos

Perfect JW wife:

40

Comments at the WT this morning

by OneFingerSalute in

so as i am "listening" to the wt study going on this question was asked.

"how do you feel about refined understanding?".

some of the comments were:.

Zoos

Yep, a long time servant of Jah admitted it was BS right in the middle of the meeting.

But fear of apostasy and losing everything prevented her from admitting it before her human masters said it first. Don't tell me these people don't serve men.

35

behind the curtain: literature offer for the month

by Magnum in

i was an extremely sincere, zealous pioneer.

i really cared about the people in the field.

i thought their lives were in danger.

Zoos

The Insight volumes, published in '88, say that the Sodomites will be resurrected, which is not in line with current wishy-washy Org. teaching.

So... they used to believe that arrogant, overfed and unconcerned people who didn't help the poor and needy could be resurrected but now they think not?

That's weird.

Ezekiel 16:49, NIV - "Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy."

-------------------------------------------

I always thought they shifted the monthly literature offer around to keep us polished on the material and presentation techniques so we didn't get stuck in a rut.

17

JWs are being told Watchtower is financially strapped because they forgave Kingdom Hall mortgages!

by PokerPlayerPhil in

here's why the governing body did that little line on jw broadcasting, i have a source still inside new york and being as sneaky as ever, the watchtower is claiming they need the cash because they forgave the kingdom hall mortgages!

not all the kingdom halls are hitting the targeted monthly donation-revenue range, they are still asking other kingdom halls to pony up cash for kingdom halls that can't afford the "recommended donation rate".

pure evil, that's the jehovah"s witness watchtower theocratic war in action!

Zoos

They unintentionally gave the impression that they were ok for cash that's why they lovingly forgave the loan. Little did the R&F know that the exact opposite had happened, and now Wt is thinking "oh shit"

Watchtower should be used to thinking, "Oh Shit!", with all the prediction failures and all.

38

The present Governing Body will rule the U.S.A.

by John Aquila in

i havent gone to meetings in about 1 year and a half.

one of my neighbors who is a jw-lady told me that the co on the last visit said that its very likely that right after armageddon (which is just around the corner) the present governing body members will be in charge of the united states since they are familiar with the culture.

and that the apostles and early christians will be in charge of areas like china.

Zoos

JESUS: Anthony, I want you to oversee Canada an Alaska. Rutherford, I want you to head on over to the... Rutherford? Rutherford??? Has anyone seen Joe?

RUSSELL: That book thief is over by the punch bowl.

JESUS: Dad dammit, that's not punch. Okay, Franz, I want you in Mexico again. You did a great job down there a few years ago.

FRANZ: But I wanted one of the islaaaaandzzz!

JESUS: Good Me, this is harder than I thought.

11

Anyone else have JW Business Cards?

by Lemonp in

my cong has these business cards on the lit desk for maybe 2 months now, is this just something that they have done locally or is this a org wide thing?

.

there are two different types we have, this is the front and back of one of them..

Zoos

Printed in Japan

Probably not a local thing.

Unless, of course... you're in Japan.

In which case... well, you know.

23

12 signs you are a modern day Pharisee

by Zoos in

i was reading through this list and was struck by how accurately it describes the watchtower royalty class.

not exactly a professional doing the writing but i think he captures it pretty well.. http://frankpowell.me/12-signs-you-are-modern-day-pharisee.

for those who cannot access the link:.

Zoos

I was reading through this list and was struck by how accurately it describes the Watchtower royalty class. Not exactly a professional doing the writing but I think he captures it pretty well.

http://frankpowell.me/12-signs-you-are-modern-day-pharisee

For those who cannot access the link:

1.) YOU BELIEVE SHOWING UP FOR WORSHIP EVERY SUNDAY MAKES YOU RIGHT WITH GOD.

Modern-day Pharisees try to measure everything. They must have metrics and barometers. Something to measure their righteousness. Anything to give them some security with God.

And I am not against barometers or metrics. Not at all. Barometers can reveal trends and expose inconsistencies. But modern-day Pharisees see metrics as essential to righteousness and salvation. Worship is not a time to draw into God. Worship is another check off the list.

For modern-day Pharisees, Christian living is not so much about transforming into the image of God. It is more about living up to the standard of God. And no one can live up to God’s standard. Except Jesus.

[Missing too many meetings wil get you cast as spiritually weak / bad association.]

2.) YOU SPEND MORE TIME TALKING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE AGAINST, NOT WHAT YOU ARE FOR.

Pharisees love to argue. They love to spend their time convincing others. If they had to list the actions and issues they are against, the pencil would run out of lead. But turn around and ask them to list what they are for? The pencil would not have to be re-sharpened.

Pharisees believe their job is to defend God and legislate morality. So they are against drinking, smoking, cursing, short skirts, talking back to parents, holding hands before marriage, and so on. And all of these things come before the gospel. Or maybe they are the gospel. Modern-day Pharisees can’t tell the difference.

3.) YOU BELIEVE GOD ACTUALLY NEEDS YOU.

Modern-day Pharisees believe God needs them on His team. They believe the church is dependent upon them.

Let me be real with the modern-day Pharisees. If God needs a human being for His church to survive, He is not a God worth serving. Or worshiping. Or following. God needs no one. God simply allows us to play a role. He allows us to play a part. We just need to know our role. Play our part. And don’t think too highly of ourselves. God’s got this.

4.) YOU DON’T REPENT OF SIN…YOU DON’T HAVE ANY “SERIOUS” SIN TO REPENT OF.

Remember that time the modern-day Pharisees repented of sin in their life? Oh wait, they never have. They don’t have any serious sin to repent of. Pharisees have a reputation and status to maintain. Repentance involves vulnerability and weakness. Pharisees don’t show weakness.

Who cares if the God of the universe was humiliated and mocked by mere men? That has no bearing on a modern-day Pharisee.

Repentance is for people who sin really bad. Not for them.

["There's no such thing as an evil slave."]

5.) YOU MAKE EVERY ISSUE BLACK AND WHITE.

The Bible is grey on many issues. But modern-day Pharisees don’t deal in the world of grey. They must have everything black and white. In or out. Yes or no. Up or down.

You see, if an issue is grey, modern-day Pharisees have to do some work on the heart. And Pharisees don’t work on the heart. They don’t consider motives.

Here is another thing about grey. It does not allow modern-day Pharisees to keep score. Black and white issues, however, allow them to keep a tally of their righteousness. “I have never drank or smoke or gambled or cheated on my wife.” Who cares if their heart is full of lust, anger, and envy?

Making a grey issue black and white means modern-day Pharisees don’t have to deal with the motives underneath their actions.

6.) YOU WOULD NEVER CONDONE HOMOSEXUALITY OR FORNICATION…BUT HAVE NO PROBLEM WATCHING MOVIES THAT DO.

If someone were to preach on the evils of homosexuality or sex before marriage, a modern-day Pharisee would nod his or her head in agreement. “Yeah, that’s right preacher. Preach on!” But on Sunday night, they plop down in the recliner and find humor from a movie or TV show glamorizing the very thing they just agreed was wrong.

This is the real issue with modern-day Pharisees. They love to put on a show when the lights are on. They want people to think they are righteous. But Jesus does not inform the rest of their lives.

After all, they went to church…and life group. The checklist is complete.

7.) YOUR SALVATION IS BASED ON YOUR WORKS, NOT ON JESUS.

Modern-day Pharisees believe in their works. That’s why they love James 2:14-26. But they skirt around passages about grace. Oh, yeah. They believe Jesus died on the cross for their sins. But they turn around and mock the cross by trying to earn their salvation.

[No comment]

8.) YOU READ THE BIBLE TO SUBSTANTIATE YOUR CONVICTIONS, NOT TO BE SHAPED INTO GOD’S IMAGE.

During the time of Jesus, no one knew more Scripture than the Pharisees. They studied the Scriptures relentlessly.

Modern-day Pharisees do the same. But they turn around and use the knowledge to convince others why they are wrong. The Bible is their personal weapon. Modern-day Pharisees use it to throw rocks at all the misguided, evil sinners in the world.

To modern-day Pharisees, the Bible is not a means to grow into the image of God. It is a means to convince the world of fallacies and misguided theology.

9.) YOU BELIEVE OUTSIDERS SHOULD CONFORM TO A CERTAIN LIFESTYLE BEFORE THEY ARE ACCEPTED AS “CHRISTIAN.”

This is a Pharisee trademark. Before non-Christians can be considered “part of the group,” they must conform to a certain lifestyle. Stop all of the cursing and drinking. And stop doing all the stuff “bad people” do.

Once potential Christians “fix their lives,” modern-day Pharisees gladly welcome these people into their family. Just don’t revert back to “sinning” again. Membership in the group is always conditional.

Instead of meeting people where they are, modern-day Pharisees force people to come up to their level. And until these people live up to the standard, they will be on the outside looking in.

[Are YOO an approved associate?]

10.) YOU DON’T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A CONVERT AND A TRANSFER.

Modern-day Pharisees get just as excited when someone joins their church as they do when someone joins the kingdom of God. In fact, they don’t see much distinction between the two. They celebrate a baptism the same way they celebrate a family moving from across the street.

This is why no real desire for the lost exists. The church is adding “members.” But they are being added to the directory of the local church, not the directory of the Kingdom. Modern-day Pharisees don’t care. As long as the “church” is adding people.

11.) ALL OF YOUR CHRISTIAN FRIENDS LOOK AND ACT JUST LIKE YOU DO.

Pharisees are exclusive. They pick and choose who enters the group. But Jesus never valued exclusivity. Just look at his chosen twelve. A tax collector (Matthew). A doctor (Luke). Fishermen (Peter and Andrew). A Zealot (Simon). That’s a conglomerate of guys from many different backgrounds.

So, look around at your group? Is it essentially a collection of men and women cut from the same mold?

12.) IF SOMEONE TRIES TO REBUKE YOU, YOU GET ANGRY AND OFFENDED.

Remember what happened Jesus rebuked the Pharisees? Their hearts broke. They repented. And Jesus used them to start the church.

Not.

When Jesus called out their sins, the Pharisees crucified him. Modern-day Pharisees see any rebuke as a personal attack. They immediately go on the offensive. Some get angry and storm off. Others proceed to make a list of sins to the person rebuking them.

Regardless, modern-day Pharisees refuse to have a heart receptive to rebuke. It undermines their external righteousness. And it undermines the lie that they are perfect.

[Do you think you're smarter than the governing body?]