I need time to think.
That is precisely what they don't want you to have. They want you active, zealous, go, go, GO all the time... busy in the work of the lord so you don't have time to entertain your doubts, ponder the inconsistencies, identify the contradictions and start putting the pieces together. It is, therefore, vital that you MAKE THAT TIME HAPPEN.
Someone on this forum once identified the Watchtower organization as a loveless recruitment machine. Giving yourself time to think will help you see past the glossy veneer (the polished outside of the cup) and see the machine for what it really is.
Welcome to the forum. Your journey will be rough but you will come out the other side stronger and happier.