The couple were 85 years old, and had been married for sixty
years.
Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because
they watched their pennies.
Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely
due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last
decade.
One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare
vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.
They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them
inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine
silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet.
They gasped in astonishment when he said, "Welcome to Heaven.
This will be your home now."
The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.
"Why, nothing," Peter replied, "remember, this is your reward
in Heaven."
The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a
championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on
Earth.
"What are the greens fees?", grumbled the old man.
"This is heaven," St. Peter replied. "You can play for free,
every day."
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet
lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to
steaks to exotic deserts and free flowing beverages.
"Don't even ask," said St. Peter to the man. "This is Heaven,
it is all free for you to enjoy."
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.
"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the
decaffeinated tea?" he asked.
"That's the best part," St. Peter replied. "You can eat and
drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat
or sick. This is Heaven!"
The old man pushed, "No gym to work out at?"
"Not unless you want to," was the answer.
"No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..."
"Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself."
The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your oatmeal.
We could have been here ten years ago."
Jayson
JoinedPosts by Jayson
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Eat your B&J Ice Cream
by Jayson inthe couple were 85 years old, and had been married for sixty .
years.. though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because .
they watched their pennies.. .
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Jayson
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Jayson
Ridiculousness crosses party lines!
That is worth framing!
Hey did anyone here that
Saddam's sons dead
By Kris Osborn
CNN Headline News
Wednesday, July 23, 2003 Posted: 9:47 AM EDT (1347 GMT)(CNN) -- Central Command officials tell CNN that an operation in the area of Mosul on Tuesday involving the 101st Airborne Division and special operations forces resulted in the deaths of Uday and Qusay Hussein.
Before that announcement, U.S. military officials were cautious about saying whether Uday and Qusay, Nos. 2 and 3 on Central Command's list of most-wanted Iraqi leaders, were in fact killed in the operation, according to a U.S. military spokesman.
"We've had disappointment before," the official said.
Additional efforts will be made to confirm the identity of the remains. CNN has learned that DNA samples will be brought to the United States for analysis.
According to U.S. military sources, "DNA is the way to go. We have DNA samples of the Hussein family, and you can bet nobody is stalling on this."
However, before Army Lt. Gen. Ricardo Sanchez's official announcement that the two sons had been killed, officials were clear that, regardless of the results of the operation, the hunt for former Iraqi regime leaders is far from over.
A U.S. military spokesman said, "Even if we got them, we are still out looking for more enemy forces and personalities. After all, Qusay and Uday have had 20 years to develop clones. Evil, like-minded clones will likely step in [in] an attempt to consolidate power through criminality."
As for the impact, military officials believe that killing Qusay and Uday will disrupt the chain of command with the remaining Baath party loyalists and paramilitary Saddam Fedayeen fighters. Uday, described by U.S. military officials as violent and ruthless, ran the paramilitary group.
At the same time, coalition officials say they are certain that Saddam loyalists and Baath party members remain a large and threatening force in Iraq.
One U.S. official said, "The heads of the Baath party have billions of billions of dollars, jewels, trailers filled with money and secret bank accounts. The coalition has probably just scraped the tip of the iceberg. The Hussein family is the Arab mafia of the country. There are about 25,000 people in the Tikriti clan, all of them with their hand in the pie. Nepotism is how they controlled the family, and most of the clan is blood relatives."
edit> http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/07/23/hln.terror.saddam.sons/index.html
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I Just Don't "Fit" Anywhere!
by pettygrudger ini'm sitting at work today, listening to all the different "cliques" around me, typing here on these boards a bit (don't tell), and it occurred to me again that i just don't fit.. .
it seems like i don't "fit" anywhere.
i'm always on the outskirts of alot of "groups", always on the fringe, but never inside.
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Jayson
pg that makes you smart, normal, and nobody's fool. It makes you the best kind of "friend" to have. imo
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Letter from a friend in Iraq
by Yerusalyim inok, i won't give his name, but he is a major with an engineer unit in iraq.
here's what he has to say on iraq, i've highlighted a few interesting points.
it has been a while since i have written to my friends about what's really going on here in iraq.
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Jayson
would you characterize the UN as generally proactive, or reactive?- onacruse
As to what? The humanitarian issues, war, disarmarment, peacekeeping, the dream of become a, if not the world power; all are differnet in the M.O. [imo.]
The UN to me; it is self serving and has little interest in true harmony. It is a soap box for thugs to air their hate of all things american. And a place for the U.S. to pretend to give other countries a say in things. It has no real ability to act to anything without the USA supporting it, a big reason for the jealousy. And that is unfair no matter your position on it. There was the USSR & the USA. The USSR is a part of history. To try to get a new balance of power is not going to happen. The world does not want to become one big Americanism playground. Simon said "US" as in "we" need to stop meddling in other countries affairs. I agree with him. Stop the spread of raw capitalism and democracy to the 3rd world. It does not work. To a certian level the big boys need to isolate themselves and have rules of ethical treatment of people for a country to join the club[UNism}. That would not be the UN as it is now. It also would mean that both the U.S. and the West would have to give up manipulating power.
Have you ever thought about how much oil costs. Not just the OPEC cost per barrel but the UN, the wars and arming and disarming, the UN, and the debt and all of it? How much does it cost? Like I keep saying "End Open Enrollment In The UN" or, end the UN and create something new.
All of this towards Iraq.... It's a place that is going to be a mess for years. Period. In a Big Mac give it to me now society it's going to be a mess forever. For those who have some patience you understand it is going to take awhile. At least now there is some hope.
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Propagandists caught in major deception??
by Gamaliel inthis subject has come up in another thread, but the other thread has of course turned into a left/right controversy which is not the point of my post.
i wanted to share a curious find with respect to a letter which is making the rounds all over the internet.
one version, which is not making the rounds, is one that a church evidently is claiming is the original they received from a member who is an army major on duty in iraq.
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Jayson
The first one sounds believable and genuine. The second is just blatant propaganda that pro-war supports have foolishly seized on and 'fallen for' IMHO.-Simon
Well this letter issue in combination with the double cross that Blair did with the British intel used to create that sentence in the State of the Union speech proves that you are right. There were never any wmd in Iraq. This whole thing was a UK conspiracy from the start. You guys are to smart for us simpton americans. I know that all those anti war dudes are really UK spys. I will talk to Bush in the morning and see if we can't just get those troops out of Iraq and back home to defend against the invasion.( This is all part of the UK masterplan to take back the British colonies.) I only hope that I can warn people before the British invade again.
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Letter from a friend in Iraq
by Yerusalyim inok, i won't give his name, but he is a major with an engineer unit in iraq.
here's what he has to say on iraq, i've highlighted a few interesting points.
it has been a while since i have written to my friends about what's really going on here in iraq.
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Jayson
Simon I'll go half way on this. The UN has a record of successful nation building in eastern europe & all over the world. They are sucessful at disarming Nations willing to disarm. They are great at humanitarian efforts. But when it comes to intervention they are helpless. The UN pulls the USA and the UK to a lesser exent into every conflict in the world. It has to stop. The UN should not be allowed to go on as it is for many reasons. Some of which are USA problems, some of which are western europe problems, and some of which are rouge countries and dictator countries which do not deserve the protection of international law. As long as there is "open enrollment" in the UN I will be in favor of the US pulling out of it 100%. imo you should be too for your country. We all should. It would go along way in ending the "meddling" that you talk of. (And which I agree with)
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Letter from a friend in Iraq
by Yerusalyim inok, i won't give his name, but he is a major with an engineer unit in iraq.
here's what he has to say on iraq, i've highlighted a few interesting points.
it has been a while since i have written to my friends about what's really going on here in iraq.
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Jayson
Btw, at this point, putting iraq back together is something the US does owe the iraqi people.
(((YES))) I agree S.S. I wish I had said this just once in all the threads about this topic.
And not just the U.S. All the countries that have been suckling their oil and selling Saddam weapons, we/they all owe the Iraqi people. If others won't then the U.S. needs to continue it without France, Germany, and Russia. I wish more people would be willing to fix the problem first and the not obsess about the blame.
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WoMD ... so where are they?
by Simon innow, the war is over, the weapons were not used and of course have not been found.. how threatening could they be if they did not even use them when being invaded by a massive force (of the countries they hate)?!
perhaps, as many suspect, they didn't use them because they didn't have them?.
now we're being told that we'll have to be patient and give them time to find them.
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Jayson
OK william...That was funny
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If it were backwards
by Jourles ini often wonder how most iraqis feel about the presence of troops in their homeland destroying statues, searching through their homes, making sure the oil stays flowing over other basic necessities, etc.
some iraqis may love the usa for doing what they did.
but there are probably many iraqis that hate us even more than ever.
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Jayson
OK Jour; When you grabbed my comment in the box I thought it was. And if Saddam invaded the U.S. would I be bitter? Yep. Because the facts would be turned around. Even as is in reality I don't expect Iraqi's to embrace the U.S. or it's values. It's two different worlds. And, we abandoned them in the past to many times.
The USA is hypocritical, IMO.
No argument from me.
the US does not help other countries in need when humanitarian efforts call for it.
We do but often for the wrong reasons. We negotiate with scum for "votes" in the U.N. cheap labor, or whatever we want. We pretend to spread democracy. That is so evil. The U.S. is the superpower and we are to blame for that. It's why I don't respect the U.N. or that part of the USA. -
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If it were backwards
by Jourles ini often wonder how most iraqis feel about the presence of troops in their homeland destroying statues, searching through their homes, making sure the oil stays flowing over other basic necessities, etc.
some iraqis may love the usa for doing what they did.
but there are probably many iraqis that hate us even more than ever.
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Jayson
I often wonder how most Iraqis feel
How would you feel if you had to live through this everyday and read about it in the news?Your question was how would I (putting myself in an Iraqi's shoes) feel. And I told you I would be bitter at the U.S. for not comming in 91' not for being here in 03'.
Iraq is simply only one country out of hundreds across the globe. For anyone to say the restrictions, food shortages, killings, etc. only occur in Iraq is well, naive. Why does the US not take over countries like N. Korea or China? Do not both of those countries send you to prison for looking up negative nationalistic information on the internet? How about some Islamic countries banning the viewing of cable TV because too many women are shown, and if you view it you can be beaten? Syria, Libya? Muammar Ghaddafi is still in power in Libya. Why has the US allowed him to stay?
I didn't say that. I limited my reply to your question. You also talked about how I would feel reading it in the newsevery day. As per your words in Iraq for example you would not have nessesarly been reading it in the news. Nor would you be talking against Saddam for long. Which is why I would be glad to see Saddam goes if I were Iraqi to answer your question.
