Posts by Anne

42

Well my "winter' yard decorations have caught the Elders attention !!!!!

by troubled mind in

jw
friends

wow i guess the elders still do exisist !

i wasn't sure since they have only stopped by once in the last almost four yrs.. here is what has them all in a tissy........ i guess the lighted deer and lights on the railing screams christmas .....i was going for cheerful winter ,guess i overshot.. .

here is how the conversation went :.

Anne

Troubled Mind, your interaction made me laugh!! That's good, you didn't answer their question. I bet they were steaming in their boots.

We had a couple of elders come by before Halloween. I had a fall type wreath on the door and pumpkins on the steps. Not one word about them to my hubby. They asked him if they could help us "come back" and that "no one would throw stones". Hubby kept repeating, "if we need anything from you, we'll contact you". They finished up by asking if they could come back latter when Anne was home. (I thought THE MAN was head of house in JW land.)

Anyway.. it's probably a good thing I wasn't there. I may have asked them, "Do you want a pumpkin?"

Don't really care if they drive by and see our big Christmas tree in the window and lights.

28

To tell my parents or not to tell my parents...unfortunately that is a question

by feenx in

jw
friends

i could use some perspective on something i'm struggling with.

first off, a little background info.

i am an only child and my parents, in addition to quite difficult circumstances we've all experienced, both personally and as a family while i was growing up, remain devout.

Anne

Everyone's family is different...., but if I was in your situation I'd put the announcement in the newspaper. I'd mention your fiance's parents in the announcement, but not yours. If you have any non-Witness aunts, uncles, cousins, etc, I'd let them know what was going on. I'd give the "worldly" family members "important" roles in the wedding. J.W.'s like to feel persecuted, I'd let them feel it. Same thing with the grandkids... put the announcement in the local newspaper and tell any relatives.

The problem with being the bigger person and letting them have a relationship on "their" terms, is you leave yourself (spouse and children) open for further manipulation. If they want a relationship, let them come to you since they are the ones who are doing the shunning. Then you can set the terms for the relationship. If they choose their cult over their child, you don't want them around your children.

It hurts to be rejected by those who are supposed to love and accept you unconditionally. Turn it around and make it thier loss. Your forming your own family.

Live your life, be happy.

71

ex wants to be free to remarry - ugh

by No Apologies in

jw
friends

ok, i'm sure i am not the first one to be in this predicament but it sure is a headache, my jw ex called a few days ago, apparently she has met someone (they're not dating of course!

) and she wants to me to hand over the golden ticket.

she wants confirmation either in writing or verbally to a third party, that she is "scripturally free" to remarry.. i have managed for years now to avoid any judicial action and my jw family members still associate with me, but that all could come to a screeching halt if i give her what she wants.. the only bright side is she totally robbed me on the divorce; if she gets married i am at least off the hook for "spousal maintenance", that would mean potentially thousands of dollars in my pocket.... .

Anne

You live in the Midwest, all JW's are extra crazy here. If you don't give her what she wants she'll get a couple of "the brothers" to do a stakeout. (Most normal people would call it stalking.)

17

Has anyone had Lasik Surgery?

by homeschool in

jw
friends

everybody whose had it says great things except their night vision is a lil off.

i went walking this morning & saw a duck but i thought it was a gopher at first .

do you know of anybody whose had lasik & is happy or unhappy with the results?.

Anne

I had lasik about 8 years ago, definitely worth it for me. The first day after was rough if I remember right, then all was good. Do you work at a computer or anything like that? Some have trouble with glare from screens after. Pick an opthamologist that has done a lot of the procedure, and ask lots of questions. In particular ask his complication rate, and what type of complications. This is not something that you want to base your decision on the lowest bidder (just don't pick the cheapest, pick the best, it's your eyes!!)

I have a friend who the laser malfunctioned somehow and wound up with problems. It was a fluke. He still wears glasses, and can see. Nothing is foolproof.

29

Hello id like to intruduce myself

by Belly in

jw
friends

ive been lurking this site for quite a while but for some reason never could muster up the courage to post.. let me give a little background on my self.. i am 18 and male an still living with my parents.

i was baptised at 15 basically against my will (by cracking under the pressure) but only truly broke out of the drone like mindswhen i was 17. since then its been totall choas in my life all of it stemming from the orginization of course.

my parents are the defenition of brainwashed wittnesses, my father even belives he is anointed.. after i got baptised i suffered from intense deppression and with a little soul searching, after a year i realized that i need some time for my self.

Anne

Is there any Profession, Occupation or Trade that interests you? If so, do an online search and find out what the qualifications are.

Junior or Community colleges are usually easy to get into and reasonably priced.

I took correspondece high school (stupid!!, stupid!!, never let anyone do it). I started out at Tech/ Community College. I was scared at first, but it was the first step.

Yknot is right, there are loans and grants available . I remember sitting at my kitchen table paying bills one evening when a few friends stopped by (back when I was still trying to be a Witness). One of them spotted my payment book for my student loan and his eyes bugged out. I then showed him my last paystub. At the time I was making 2-2 and half times more than him, so my investment made sense. I'm not sure how true this is, but the rule I've been told is don't borrow more for your education than you will make in your first year on the job.

31

Your thoughtful opinion is requested, please, on a possible proposal to free my wife from JWs

by lifelong humanist in

jw
friends

six years 'jw free', my wife is still in, although she's now nowhere neary as zealous as i was when in.

for this i'm grateful.. please take a moment to review my current situation as far as my wife's involvement is concerned with our 4, adult male children:.

my wife regularly contacts my dfd son, invites him and his wife to visit us, along with their 4 year old son, and thinks absolutely nothing of it!

Anne

Lifelong Humanist.... not like that, never like that. It could backfire badly. She could turn ultra militant JW and you would loose her completely.

Maybe you could introduce her to a few fun time-consuming hobbies? Find some new couple friends that you can both hang out with. Pretty soon she'll become less and less active, and slip away from them.

She sounds a little like my mom in that she would never give up her family. It maybe painful to watch. But if being a Witness makes her happy and it doesn't break up your family, I'd leave her to it. If she's not happy, talk to her about that. You'll make more headway by being kind and loving.

29

Hello id like to intruduce myself

by Belly in

jw
friends

ive been lurking this site for quite a while but for some reason never could muster up the courage to post.. let me give a little background on my self.. i am 18 and male an still living with my parents.

i was baptised at 15 basically against my will (by cracking under the pressure) but only truly broke out of the drone like mindswhen i was 17. since then its been totall choas in my life all of it stemming from the orginization of course.

my parents are the defenition of brainwashed wittnesses, my father even belives he is anointed.. after i got baptised i suffered from intense deppression and with a little soul searching, after a year i realized that i need some time for my self.

Anne

What are your plans? Are you still in high school. If so, and they try to throw you out go talk to your school counselor. They can be a good resource as to help that is available. It may buy you another year, as your parents wouldn't want to bring reproach?

If your out of high school you need to make an exit strategy. It may even involve play acting as a Witness for awhile, until your on your feet. It's better to leave in a position of strength.

143

...Jehovah`s Witness Kids don`t miss Celebrating Birthdays,Christmas..ect..ect!!....

by OUTLAW in

jw
friends

jehovah`s witness kids don`t miss celebrating birthdays,christmas..ect..ect..!

!......................thats what jehovah`s witness parents,tell the outside world..my parents did.......the fact is..i did want to have a birthday party..i did want to get toys at christmas..i did want a tree with all the lights..i did want to go to the school christmas party..i did want to hunt for chocolate eggs at easter................tell that to your jw parents and you`ll get an ass-whopp`n..........i told my aunt i loved christmas,she always got me something...my aunt told my mom.....mom was not happy.......i did`nt support the jehovah`s witness lie....i paid the price..............when you were a jehovah`s witness kid,did you want to participate in celebrations?

...outlaw.

Anne

When I was in fourth grade my teacher was so disturbed by my having to leave for birthdays, holidays, etc, that she created reasons to have other parties. As a child I didn't realize it, but in hind-site she went out of her way to include me. I contacted her a few years ago and thanked her. She had a friend growing up who was raised JW, and didn't want any of her students to feel left out like her friend had been.

My parents were and still are dirt poor. I was an outsider due to socio-economic status, then throw in the goofy religion with it's birthday cake hating rules and I was an absolute pariah.

My parents did try a very little. They had family day (somewhat inconsistently) on their wedding anniversary. As a parent I find that really offensive. Their marriage is so important that they can worship it, but the birth of their children (and grandchildren) is of no importance.

25

Were your kids distressed after time with JWs?

by hamsterbait in

i am asking this as i think testimony from first hand could help people see what danger they leave their children in with jw baby sitters etc.. my friends let their 10 yr old daughter stay the weekend with her jw cousins.. when she came back she was having nightmares, bursting into tears, clingy (as her mother might be killed at armageddon before she got home from school).

and asking explicit sexual questions, (yes they had taken her to the kingdumb hell).

i am repeating this post as it disappeared the first time.

Anne

Most of us aren't saying we should confine them from society, we're also not saying they can't preach. What we're saying is they can't preach to our children. The faith is too damaging. I personally have the one strike your out rule. My father, sister, and brothers have no unsupervised visits. They have proven to not respect boundaries. My mom is a different case. If it wasn't for my dad dragging her in she would not be a Witness, and now her whole social world revolves around being a Witness. She knows the repercussions if she tries to "Witness" to my kids. I have spelled it out. For her it would be bleak.

I personally don't really care what sky god they worship, as long as I don't have to hear about it or participate. All I ask is the same respect, but I demand it for my minor children

20

Did you find out the hard way the advice - NEVER leave your

by hamsterbait in

never ever leaveyour child alone with a jw?.

i have friends who left their daughter over a weekend with her cousins.

she came back with crying fits, nightmares and general nervousness about the world ending.

Anne

Every situation is different. My mom is more of a social JW and wouldn't do anything to cross me. My dad is a rabid JW and we had it out a few years ago. He once told my 3 year old that "Jehovah makes the plants grow". Relatively harmless, but if you give an inch they will go a mile. I told my dad that if I ever even think that he is Witnessing to them he will NEVER see them again. I also threatened to become Catholic. Since Dad comes from a very Catholic family who barely tolerates his JWness, I'd just duck and let the extended family nuke him for bad behavior. It never came to that, my mother reined him in. (We still don't let him see the kids unsupervised.)

I want to raise them to be like Mindmelda's kids. Able to think critically for themselves.

Reniaa, you miss the entire point. My Dad would have had an aneurysm if my Grandparents would have tried to indoctrinate us into the Catholic faith. But for a JW it's OK? They think they have the truth.... blah, blah... Well guess what?, if YOU really believed that you'd do as "mother" tells you and stay off the internet and these nasty apostate websites. I was raised a JW, I walked away. I know exactly what it is, and so do you... it's a family wrecking, child abusing, money whore of a cult. I know what I am and what I am not... do you?