i'm officially single.
i don't know how to feel exactly.
thank you to everyone who has been so sweet and kind and supportive of me, you have no idea how much it's meant to me.
The worst thing is to sit around alone and sometimes when you do go out you may be there in body but not in spirit. It will take time and allow yourself that. dont just jump into another realationship because it is very possible at this point to do it for all of the wrong reasons. give yourself time to be yourself again then and only then will you be able to find who or what you really need. hang in there it does get better I promise.
Larry n Babies
it has now been seven months since megans passing my babies will be 1 and 1/2 yrs old in three days.
it has been 3 months since the court battle over the custody of my children.
40,000.00 dollars has been spent on the trail and all proceedings.
The so called grand pain-in-the-asses or parents will be coming to pickup the babies around 5:pm today I will surely be there I am dying to see if they have anything to say to me. It is about time I started to fight back with these people I have done nothing but tried to respect thier feelings and defend my rights as my childrens father. I am sooo done dealing with thier threats and jabs from their attorney.
LarrynBabies
have you ever had a secret online affair?
did it result in the breakup of your previous relationship?
was it worth it?.
About 8 years ago I was living in denver and I was a car salesman at John Elway toyota I came up with an idea It was what I called the test drive fantasy add. It had something to do with coming by the dealership and going for a test drive in a brand new landcruiser. You would be suprised at how many women fullfilled thier test drive fantasy. I would never do anyhting like this now mainly because I have gotten all of those anonamous sexual encounters out of my system plus I would like to think I have grown up since then.
have you ever had a secret online affair?
did it result in the breakup of your previous relationship?
was it worth it?.
Megan would tell me alot about her troubles being disfellowshipped and how hurt she was when evreyone she ever knew or cared about would turn thier back on her. My heart went out to her and all I wanted to do was try and help her make the pain and rejection go away. Unfortunately some of that stuff cuts to the bone and there are scares that never fully heal.
it has now been seven months since megans passing my babies will be 1 and 1/2 yrs old in three days.
it has been 3 months since the court battle over the custody of my children.
40,000.00 dollars has been spent on the trail and all proceedings.
As a result of the custody battle and the emotional condition I have been left in I thought it best to allow Megans aunt peggy to take custody of my children untill I am better and am more able to care for my children as they should be. I know that peggy has allowed me unlimited acces to my babies and we have a full understanding that when I am back on my feet and the babies are a little older that she will turn custody of my children back over to me
it has now been seven months since megans passing my babies will be 1 and 1/2 yrs old in three days.
it has been 3 months since the court battle over the custody of my children.
40,000.00 dollars has been spent on the trail and all proceedings.
It has now been seven months since Megans passing My babies will be 1 and 1/2 yrs old in three days. It has been 3 months since the court battle over the custody of my children. 40,000.00 dollars has been spent on the trail and all proceedings. I just recieved a letter from Megans parent attorney that the want me to turn over Megans car to them. After consulting our lawyer he informed me that the closest realitives of Megan since we were not married are the babies and technicaly the car belongs to them.
After all of the things her parents have done to me and my family and as much pain and greif they have caused me I finally got to the point that I thought it would be time for me to approach them and at least ask them if we could sit down and talk. I know Megan would have hated to see the way things have turned out and me being the father, and them being the grandparents I felt that the way things are going is not and will not be healthy for anyone of us including my children.
I was informed by Megans aunt Peggy that Megans parents had no wish to sit down and talk and they would prefer that I not be present when they came to pick up the babies for visitation. These people do not know the meanning of forgiveness and compassion. They are so hypocritical it makes me sick. They were the ones who abducted my children and started this whole mess yet they are unwilling to even think of respecting my rights as my childrens father. I will make it a point to be there every time they come to pick up my babies and when they drop them off. If they dont have the descency or the balls to tell me to my face then they can go to hell or into limbo or wherever it is the failed jehovahs witnesses go oh yes its destruction. or being destroyed or something like that. Like not being part of the new system. Christ it sounds like a damn amway presentation.
I dont mean to be offensive to those who dont know me but those of you who do can well understand my frustration.
On a personal note I am still dealing with PTSD and depression I have had my medication adjusted to the point that taking my sleeping pills and going for one last drive into the garage isnt such a real possibility anymore. wooo hooo.
I see my babies almost everyday I give them baths and they talk to me on the phone and say hello dada they are the light at the end of my tunnel and I will get there no matter what.
Larrynbabies
during an mtv interview singer lauryn hill said, "i would rather die than have a white person buy one of my albums.
true or false?
the inflammatory comment hill supposedly made varies: .
You know I think we are somewhat past the point of being shocked by the reverse discrimitory remarks that seem to get flung around without a whole lot of hoopla out there
Remeber the mike tyson escapades.
just another double standard scenario in the works and god help ya if you call it what it is.
here it is, it took me two days to write and therefore nobody should actually be able to read it.. the purpose of writing a story like mine down serves two purposes.
first, i must find a coherent understanding and explanation of the events that have befallen me.
second, i hope that my story helps others in some way, to let them know that there is indeed "light at the end of the tunnel.
CZAR, I must say that you have responded to my posts with an insight that can only be given by someone who has lived through and delt with the true nightmares of depression. You seemed to know when I needed a kick in the ass. You also showed empathy when appropriate. I have often wondered what made you tick. your post has given us an insight to who you are. I have read into personality profiles and have myself been catogorized as an NTNP introvert with thought and perseption. I dont like crowds I am very perceptive and bullshit really seems like an incredible waste of time. I do not have alot of patience for people who are showy or in your face. I respect your ability to have at least tried to adhear to the teachings of your youth but at the same time remained open minded enough to see the othe sides of reality and how the unreasonable confilct indicated by the orgs disspleasure that would otherwise be called growing up was a point of confiction for you.
You were man enough to make astand and not fall back into the flock of sheep that are led aimlessly around for the greater good. You will continue to fight battles and with a level head you I believe will win most of them. and be better off for it. I can say though that you must ry and not let cynisism quide you through.Use it as a tool or a reference. but by all means do not let IT guide you. You will find yourself looking back on some very empty victories if you do.
You have a very interesting life in front of you. Keep a hold of the BI Polar thing and dont let it trip you up. At this point I dont think you will let it though.
Keep on Keeping on Mr. Czar sir.
Larrynbabies
you may be confronted with relatives and witness friends who annoy you, with self-righteous comments about "coming back.
to the 'truth' and other judgemental urgings.. suppose you replied "i forgive the watchtower society for the terrible things they've done, i need to do that so i can progess as a. spiritual person".. such a response might be very disarming - and difficult to counter.. witnesses generally reject the notion that the watchtower can ever do anything wrong - rationalizing that any cruelties they.
inflict are somehow part of a greater divine purpose.
In order to forgive someone or something you need to have compasion or feel sorry for them. I might also add repentance on the part of the forgiven goes along way. humility on thier part will also encourage forgiveness. can you hoestly say that the borg has any of these qualities. I would just as soon turn my back on a pit bull with a pork chop in my pocket.
remember this line below from the old phill collins song?
"well, if you told me, you were drowning i would not a lend a hand"!
are there some people who you despise so much that you wouldnt stop to help them if they were drowning or otherwise in need of dire medical attention?
I like to think of myself as a very forgiving person but as my experiences with the most devout jw's has led me to understand that there are people out there who beyond any reason, good sense, repect for someones dignity and the right to be a father.will place thier own beliefs ahead of any and everything else. These type of people will not and cannot be trusted as far as you can throw them and honestly it is a bit tireing having to worry what they will cook up next. there are some of these people who it would be nice if they somehow just dropped off of the faced of the earth.
LarrynBabies
