Posts by larrynbabies

15

my head vs the same old brick wall

by larrynbabies in

it has now been seven months since megans passing my babies will be 1 and 1/2 yrs old in three days.

it has been 3 months since the court battle over the custody of my children.

40,000.00 dollars has been spent on the trail and all proceedings.

larrynbabies

As a result of the custody battle and the emotional condition I have been left in I thought it best to allow Megans aunt peggy to take custody of my children untill I am better and am more able to care for my children as they should be. I know that peggy has allowed me unlimited acces to my babies and we have a full understanding that when I am back on my feet and the babies are a little older that she will turn custody of my children back over to me

15

my head vs the same old brick wall

by larrynbabies in

it has now been seven months since megans passing my babies will be 1 and 1/2 yrs old in three days.

it has been 3 months since the court battle over the custody of my children.

40,000.00 dollars has been spent on the trail and all proceedings.

larrynbabies

It has now been seven months since Megans passing My babies will be 1 and 1/2 yrs old in three days. It has been 3 months since the court battle over the custody of my children. 40,000.00 dollars has been spent on the trail and all proceedings. I just recieved a letter from Megans parent attorney that the want me to turn over Megans car to them. After consulting our lawyer he informed me that the closest realitives of Megan since we were not married are the babies and technicaly the car belongs to them.

After all of the things her parents have done to me and my family and as much pain and greif they have caused me I finally got to the point that I thought it would be time for me to approach them and at least ask them if we could sit down and talk. I know Megan would have hated to see the way things have turned out and me being the father, and them being the grandparents I felt that the way things are going is not and will not be healthy for anyone of us including my children.

I was informed by Megans aunt Peggy that Megans parents had no wish to sit down and talk and they would prefer that I not be present when they came to pick up the babies for visitation. These people do not know the meanning of forgiveness and compassion. They are so hypocritical it makes me sick. They were the ones who abducted my children and started this whole mess yet they are unwilling to even think of respecting my rights as my childrens father. I will make it a point to be there every time they come to pick up my babies and when they drop them off. If they dont have the descency or the balls to tell me to my face then they can go to hell or into limbo or wherever it is the failed jehovahs witnesses go oh yes its destruction. or being destroyed or something like that. Like not being part of the new system. Christ it sounds like a damn amway presentation.

I dont mean to be offensive to those who dont know me but those of you who do can well understand my frustration.

On a personal note I am still dealing with PTSD and depression I have had my medication adjusted to the point that taking my sleeping pills and going for one last drive into the garage isnt such a real possibility anymore. wooo hooo.

I see my babies almost everyday I give them baths and they talk to me on the phone and say hello dada they are the light at the end of my tunnel and I will get there no matter what.

Larrynbabies

39

Lauryn Hill racist comments?

by Brummie in

during an mtv interview singer lauryn hill said, "i would rather die than have a white person buy one of my albums.

true or false?

the inflammatory comment hill supposedly made varies: .

larrynbabies

You know I think we are somewhat past the point of being shocked by the reverse discrimitory remarks that seem to get flung around without a whole lot of hoopla out there

Remeber the mike tyson escapades.

just another double standard scenario in the works and god help ya if you call it what it is.

35

The long, boring, and pointless story of CZAR - with happy ending!

by czarofmischief in

here it is, it took me two days to write and therefore nobody should actually be able to read it.. the purpose of writing a story like mine down serves two purposes.

first, i must find a coherent understanding and explanation of the events that have befallen me.

second, i hope that my story helps others in some way, to let them know that there is indeed "light at the end of the tunnel.

larrynbabies

CZAR, I must say that you have responded to my posts with an insight that can only be given by someone who has lived through and delt with the true nightmares of depression. You seemed to know when I needed a kick in the ass. You also showed empathy when appropriate. I have often wondered what made you tick. your post has given us an insight to who you are. I have read into personality profiles and have myself been catogorized as an NTNP introvert with thought and perseption. I dont like crowds I am very perceptive and bullshit really seems like an incredible waste of time. I do not have alot of patience for people who are showy or in your face. I respect your ability to have at least tried to adhear to the teachings of your youth but at the same time remained open minded enough to see the othe sides of reality and how the unreasonable confilct indicated by the orgs disspleasure that would otherwise be called growing up was a point of confiction for you.

You were man enough to make astand and not fall back into the flock of sheep that are led aimlessly around for the greater good. You will continue to fight battles and with a level head you I believe will win most of them. and be better off for it. I can say though that you must ry and not let cynisism quide you through.Use it as a tool or a reference. but by all means do not let IT guide you. You will find yourself looking back on some very empty victories if you do.

You have a very interesting life in front of you. Keep a hold of the BI Polar thing and dont let it trip you up. At this point I dont think you will let it though.

Keep on Keeping on Mr. Czar sir.

Larrynbabies

27

Suppose You Said "I Forgive the Watchtower"?

by metatron in

you may be confronted with relatives and witness friends who annoy you, with self-righteous comments about "coming back.

to the 'truth' and other judgemental urgings.. suppose you replied "i forgive the watchtower society for the terrible things they've done, i need to do that so i can progess as a. spiritual person".. such a response might be very disarming - and difficult to counter.. witnesses generally reject the notion that the watchtower can ever do anything wrong - rationalizing that any cruelties they.

inflict are somehow part of a greater divine purpose.

larrynbabies

In order to forgive someone or something you need to have compasion or feel sorry for them. I might also add repentance on the part of the forgiven goes along way. humility on thier part will also encourage forgiveness. can you hoestly say that the borg has any of these qualities. I would just as soon turn my back on a pit bull with a pork chop in my pocket.

25

I would not lend a hand!

by Mecurious? in

remember this line below from the old phill collins song?

"well, if you told me, you were drowning i would not a lend a hand"!

are there some people who you despise so much that you wouldnt stop to help them if they were drowning or otherwise in need of dire medical attention?

larrynbabies

I like to think of myself as a very forgiving person but as my experiences with the most devout jw's has led me to understand that there are people out there who beyond any reason, good sense, repect for someones dignity and the right to be a father.will place thier own beliefs ahead of any and everything else. These type of people will not and cannot be trusted as far as you can throw them and honestly it is a bit tireing having to worry what they will cook up next. there are some of these people who it would be nice if they somehow just dropped off of the faced of the earth.

LarrynBabies

21

Why I believe my baptism was not valid. (welcome comments)

by thebeliever in

when i was 11 or 12, my best friend (who's father was also an elder) suggested i get some of my mom's cigarettes for us to smoke.

sounded like a good idea, so i did and we tried it.

i thought it was horrible, but she had done it before and whatever.

larrynbabies

My fiancee Megan was babtized when she was twelve it was the same year she first tried to commit suicide. She was later df'd when she was sixteen and the lasting effects and trauma she went through with being shunned by her friends and family played a huge part in her eventually commiting suicide last feb 24th. She left me with twin baby boys who were ten months old at the time.

I think it should be criminal for the org to subject minors to so much abuse and neglect due to a judgement made at such an early age. Just like most of the things they believe in and practice are so friggin hypocritical. I can only hope at some point they will eventualy step so far over the line that this allow will anyone who has been truley harmed by these people to seek legal recourse and we can then hit them where it hurt the most. Thier bank account.

LarrynBabies

29

IS THIS A BELIEVABLE COINCIDENCE?

by jst2laws in

i had a really unique experience today that i want to share but will have to give you a little of my background first.

i hope you find it interesting.. .

teenage years.

larrynbabies

I was sitting in my home reading a book the name was fatal vision and I noticed a very good looking woman walk through my yard and I heard a knock at my next door nieghbors door I thought to my self lucky bastard and went back to reading my book. It was a minuite or so later this girl came to my door and as it turns out she was a Jehovas witness selling magazines.

She was very cute ( a miniature courtney cox) and as we talked she had mentioned that a freind of hers in louisville kentucky was suing coca cola because while getting a bottle of coke out of a machine the bottle exploded and he got glass in his eye.

Well this was very funny because I knew a guy in louisville ky that this had happened to well as you have guessed it was the same guy. As it turned out it was a cousin of a girl I went out with in california. Well I got her phone number and shortly thereafter we were married.

oh yes one of the worst misstakes I ever made

larrynbabies

82

What If Jehovah's Witnesses Are Right?

by shamus in

the "what if" thing comes to mind... no matter how much i strongly believe that they are not, what if armageddon happened tomorrow and they were correct?

would you have any sorrow for being wrong???.

i, personally would not.

larrynbabies

My son would sometimes ask me what if I were president or what if everything was free. These things are almost as far from being a reality as the jehovas witnesses being right.

Larrynbabies

15

I went to work today

by larrynbabies in

it will be 5 months (tomorrow 24th) since megan has died.

i went to work today for the first time since that day.

i was leaving the house this morning and while pulling out of the driveway i looked at my home and remembered the last time i had done this 5 months earlier.

larrynbabies

It will be 5 months (tomorrow 24th) since Megan has died. I went to work today for the first time since that day. I was leaving the house this morning and while pulling out of the driveway I looked at my home and remembered the last time I had done this 5 months earlier.

Every morning before I would go to work Megan would wake me up and she would already have made the babies bottles and poured me a cup of coffee. I remember she would sit next to me and wake me with a kiss and hand me my cup of coffee. By the time I had gotten through my first cup and a shower she would then bring the babies into the room so we could play. The babies were 10 months old then and they were becoming more sociable and animated. We would laugh and play with them until it was time for me to go. She would follow me downstairs and give me a hug and a kiss each and every morning before I left. When going to the car she would peek out of the window and wave at me and I would make a point of waving before I got into the car and then after getting out of the driveway I would stop and she would still be at the window waving with a smile on her face I would wave back at her one last time and then drive away.

This was my routine and I loved it. This is how my life was each and every day.

Today when I looked at my home Megan was not at the window. Megan was not smiling back at me with that beautiful smile she would have. I did not get to see her eyes light up when I would wave back at her. I did not get a call at work around 11:30 asking me what I would like to have for lunch that day and when I got home she was not there to give me a hug and a kiss. God I miss her so much. Her love was like a warm blanket that I wrapped my whole being into. I was in heaven now she has gone and taken heaven with her.

I have learned that in order to cope with her passing I do a few things, One is I will play with or just hold our babies, another is I will sit down and write a letter to Megan, the other is I will sit down and write a letter to you usually about Megan or my babies I have not done the latter in a little while and I feel like this site has become a refuge for me. A place for me to say things that are inside of me. Things that I am not able to communicate to people around me.

I have been dreaming alot latley and it is funny that since my father passed away almost ten years ago I had only had a few dreams with him in them. The last couple of weeks he has been in my dreams quite frequently. I keep showing him pictures of Megan and telling him she has died and I am so sad. He is so alive to me when I dream of him and I am happy to be able to see hime if only in my dreams. When I dream of Megan there are times when she is very distant towards me this is so unlike how she was in life. I dont know what all this means. I guess this is one for the therapist.

Anyways thanks for listening

Larrynbabies