Interesting take on things, but it won't last IMO.
I too am serving and am having big problems with it all. Going through the motions is crap, and what's worse, the more I hate it the more "privileges" the body wants to give me.
I have been doing the other plan of disallowing "lording it over" types - even involved in removing one from being an elder and formally counseling another.
I will not be able to do it forever. But like you, my home is connected to dubs, my work, immediate and extended family on both sides, friends, etc.
What a mess. I get completely depressed at times.
It's interesting on paper what you are doing. Playing the villian as opposed to the hero. I would imagine that would be heavy on the conscience, though, unless you have sociopathic tendencies.
Good luck to you.