Your situation seems very similar to mine. We are about the same age, were baptized around the same time, and both served as MS & elder. I also gave it my all for many years and and was/am disturbed by the things you mentioned.
I often think about the fact that we're in the 2020's. It was inconceivable in the 1980's that "this system" would go beyond 2000 and, really, even 1994 (80yrs from 1914). I think we tend to forget what the JW mindset was back then. Back in the late 80's or early 90's, A JW friend told me of a nonJW he knew who was planning to make money on the Olympics that were scheduled to be held in Atlanta in 1996 (by selling T-shirts). That JW friend and I laughed because we thought "this system" would be gone by then. There was no way those Olympics games would ever occur.
Well, about the year 2016, I was sent to Florida to do some work for a few days. On the way back, I was heading toward the state of Georgia on an interstate highway. As I got almost to the Georgia border, I saw a "Welcome to Georgia" sign. At the bottom was "Home of the 1996 Olympics." It hit me hard. It was 20 years, not beyond our laughing at the guy for wanting to make money, but 20 years beyond the Olympic Games themselves. At that point in time, those Olympics that we thought would never occur were old news. Thinking of that depressed me.
It is now 20-damned-23. JWs were wrong - black and white wrong. We weren't supposed to be here now. If in, for example, the 1980's, a JW had persisted in saying that this system would still be here in 2020, he would have been disfellowshipped.
"These brothers mean well."
I think most of them mean well, too, however, so do many people in other religions. Even though they mean well, they are lacking in something. They don't have the "three H's" that JWs sometimes refer to (hunger, honesty, humility) to a degree large enough to allow them to see the real truth and leave the cult. They might be lacking in well-rounded intelligence. Sure, I know some who have intelligence, but it takes well-rounded intelligence to see the real truth. Many are delusional. And, even though they mean well, they are condescending. They think they are in a high place and are stooping down to pull us out of the depths were are in. To them, we are either weak or evil or some combination of the two.
I probably differ from you in the feelings I have towards the cult and those still in. I wish JWdom were what I thought it was in the 1980's. I miss the feelings of security, the hope for the future, etc. However, I detest the org now, and I have little sympathy for any who support it. The evidence mounts against it daily. I repeat what I've already stated... those who are still in (the adults) are flawed in some way. There's no way an honest, intelligent person, who really loves truth could not see something majorly wrong with the GB, the failed predictions, the dumbing down, the decrease in literature, the weakening ministry, etc.
It's going to be interesting to watch the cult over the next few years to see what happens to it.Wish you well.