Thanks guys for all the support I really needed it.
My loved one came round for a meal before the meeting and we caught up and chatted a lot. She asked questions that showed she had a genuine interest. I told her I had been dating for the past year and that if I go back to the KH and get RI'd, I would not qualify to date or remarry as my husband divorced me on unscriptural grounds. The guy I have been dating this week is really nice and he contacted me while my friend was there. She said he was a puppet of Satan.
This made me laugh as it's exactly what I would have said to her as a youngster (she is the same age as my daughter). So she is feeding me nonsense that I taught her.
She was very emotional though and sincerely thought I was going to die at Armageddon, I did tell her that I had given Jehovah my best and he would save me if he really exists, as all he wants is our best. But she really wanted me to come with her, and told me all the harsh elders had left and now they were all just, kind elders. I could see the fear and love in her eyes. She was emotionally blackmailing me and I knew it but I loved her anyway and care about her. So I caved and went to the meeting even though I knew it was a bad idea.
All the brothers and sisters that saw me acknowledged me and winked or smiled. It felt nice but I knew it wasn't right. This was also a different hall from my KH that i got DF'd from. So no matter how nice they were my old JC that I recorded, would have to RI me and they are never going to do that, but I don't want to anyway.
The meeting was nonsense and I was really just criticising everything. Then after the song and the service meeting started I got a phone call from the guy I was dating, he wanted a chat to get to know me better. I ran outside to answer the phone and told him I was busy and would call him back when I was free. He said "ok no problem enjoy yourself"
So I am sitting in the KH, listening to propaganda and nonsense, clock watching until I can talk to this wonderful guy I have met. I thought it was ludicrous!!!!!! he said enjoy myself!!!!!
So I walked out and left, called him and had a nice chat. I wasn't going to let WT take my time and my life.
The majority of advice was good telling me not to go, but my heart strings couldn't resist the pull of love bombing. I love them all, but know I can't have them back.
Thank you for all the responses since i last checked in I will answer you all now
Kate xx