freein89

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Posts by freein89

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  21

  Does Your JW Family Act Like This?

  by Banshee in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  well, it is district convention time again.

  my mother is an active jw and faithfully attends these long, brainwashing sessions.

  she and i have fairly close contact and, over the past few years, i have noticed a definite pattern in her behavior after she attends the district conventions.

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  freein89

  outof theorg,

  I am sorry, how long have you been out? About 2 or 3 years after I left, my sister in law called me, out of the blue. I said, "you don't want to talk to me" I was so stunned it was all I could think of to say. She said "yes I do" I said "no you don't" we went back and forth like that, I just couldn't get it through my head that she wanted to talk to me. She finally yelled "yes I do!!!" Anyway she had noticed that no great misfortune had befallen me. She said she had kept track of me and had been waiting for me to fall on my face. And when I didn't (actually I did for a bit) she just got curious and we talked. She left the org shortly thereafter. Anyhow, hang in there, cuz ya never know.

  when I was still in, I really wondered why "worldly" people seemed so happy. I would honestly wonder what they could have to be happy about, when it was so clear that we were supposed to be the only happy people on planet earth. Any old how, ya never know what they might really be thinking.

  you touched my heart with your story. a hug for you, please don't be sad

  Deb
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  21

  Does Your JW Family Act Like This?

  by Banshee in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  well, it is district convention time again.

  my mother is an active jw and faithfully attends these long, brainwashing sessions.

  she and i have fairly close contact and, over the past few years, i have noticed a definite pattern in her behavior after she attends the district conventions.

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  freein89

  What 21 day cycle?
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  45

  Why don't victims tell about their abuse.

  by Lady Lee in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  a while ago i posted an essay "why do we tell our stories?

  " http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=32755&site=3 this is why we wait so long to do that.

  in the world victims remain quiet about abuse.

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  freein89

  I'm plumbing the depths here. Why is it that I never told. Here is one reason. When a child is abused trust is shattered. But it is not the obvious. If the perpetrator is known to the child, that trust is obviously gone, but when a child is not protected the trust of the parents is gone. How can a child unprotected trust its parents? From the time I was very young, under five, I knew I couldn't trust my parents. They just weren't there for me. I ALWAYS felt alone. I always felt shame. After we were adults, my sister and I told Mom. She didn't believe us. She sure would not have believed us as kids. Am I surprised, not really. I always knew there was no help there. I just knew.

  Also, children live in the now. Right now, right this minute. If nothing is happening to the child now, that is good enough. I have never been a planner, so much of life has just happened to me. I really wonder if this is a hidden result of what was done to me. It just hit me as I wrote that children live in the now. I feel a revelation here. Right now, right this minute. I have been searching for years for the answer. I am afraid to plan, and when I do, I seldom follow through. I have never been able to think about the future, as if some evil dwells there. I need to explore this idea. I need hold it up like a template and see if its true. Wow, I am lost in wonder. Could it be that simple? DID I FIGURE IT OUT??????
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  64

  Did anything a householder said ever make an impression on you?

  by Alleymom in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  coming at this as a householder rather than an ex-jw, i'd love to hear from any of you about comments from householders that made an impression on you, back when you were active in the door-to-door work.

  since the jw's first knocked at my door 13 years ago, i've done my best to give them something to think about every time they knock at my door.

  i always introduce myself by name and try to get their names.

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  freein89

  holy epistemology batman HAHa, funny.

  When I was a good little JW, I don't think anything would have gotten thru to me. But, when the doubts began Oh yeah. When the dubbies call I resolve to be nice and to plant a seed. Because that person may be doubting and it would feel so good to help. It is so very tempting to be all nasty and try to trip them up. But ya never know whats runnin loose in their little heads. Maybe the pitter patter of little doubts. You catch more flies with honey, honey.

  Deb
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  15

  You LURKERS Out There......This Could Happen to YOU !!

  by xjw_b12 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  1000 posts, i thought it would never happen.

  i originally joined and lurked for the longest time, before i started posting on a regular basis.. this board was a place of comfort through justification.

  i still clung to some old feelings of dread, and the old "what if?

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  freein89

  xjw-b12,

  may the force be with you, I'm so glad you explained the the name, I am a member of the DUH class that didn't get it. I am constantly impressed with the courage of the lurkers and the former lurkers. I left in what little kids call the OLDEN DAYS, before the internet. Would I have been so brave?

  All you lurkers out there, I applaud your courage and quest for the truth. Rock On and May the force be with you too.

  Deb

  Oh 1 more thing, I've been out so long, sometimes I forget what it felt like to be teetering on the brink. Waking up in the night, with fear exploding into my consciousness, Oh my God, What if it really is the truth? What always kept me going was realizing what really great people there were in the world and deciding to take my stand beside them, come what may. Only giving in to the fear and living with it for awhile can get you through to the dawn where the birdies are singing, it has genuinely been worth every bit of the fear and uncertainty.
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  21

  I started drinking

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i never drink any alcohol, but since a month, i drink a big can of beer (about 3 bottles) once a week.

  beer is good for your health if you take it moderately.

  i was just wondering, how much does a person have to drink to be an alcoholic?

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  freein89

  like everyone said, not to worry about a little drinky,it is good for you in moderation. Great way to unwind at the end of the day. When the 'experts" said beer is as good as the much-touted wine I decided to drink a beer every day. I sat down and opened a beer every evening for about a month, my husband finished the beer every time. I think most any booze would give you the effect you are looking for, experiment if you don't really like beer. If you like the beer, have your beer and follow the advice given here, it is good advice, maybe not as tasty as the beer but hey, you can't have everything.

  And . . . after I had my first child-25 years ago-yikes, the Dr. said to have a beer once in a while-good for the milk supply, the yeast in beer was the thing. Once a week I gagged down a beer. From my daughters I have learned that beer is still recommended for the ole' milk supply. It does work for that, I could have fed the entire neighborhood. And no, my kid did not grow up to be an alcoholic

  he's an axmurderer!!!
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  19

  Really hurt my feelings hope you were kidding

  by freein89 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the threads that might get locked thread.

  it was very painful to me.

  the anti american ones.

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  freein89

  Hey Englishman,

  when I was 40, I went to college-cuz I could-and I took a semester abroad. Imagine that I was 43 when I went, by myself and my research project was about preserving built heritage. I focused on Scotland and interviewed folks from the National Trust and Historic Scotland anyhow, while I was there I met an English woman and she said she had been treated badly by clerks in a store there, she said they hated her because she was English. I have done a lot of research on the history of the UK and understand there has been much animosity in the past, similar to the North/South thing in the US. But I wondered if the woman was being paranoid. Is the animosity still there.

  Deb
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  19

  Really hurt my feelings hope you were kidding

  by freein89 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the threads that might get locked thread.

  it was very painful to me.

  the anti american ones.

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  freein89

  ahhh the English,

  When I was in London, I was traveling alone-I went into a pub for a pint of Guinnes Yummy, I guy at the bar turned and looked at me and I smiled. He was at my side in a flash. He asked to buy me a drink. I said sure I'll have a coke. My safety alarms were going off, don't let strange men in strange lands buy you a drink. anyway when I said a coke he looked all hurt - no booze means no hanky panky. He said, but you smiled at me. I said well I'm friendly. After a few moments he said well you can tell me to bugger off if you want. I think in American speak that means buzz off. He was sweet, and I did not tell him to bugger off. but he didn't get any.

  Deb
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  22

  It's my birthday on Friday! (July 4th) / Thanks

  by figureheaduk in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i finally hit 24 on friday!

  don't know why i've posted that as a topic heading.

  however, i just want to say thanks to all the people that i've made freinds with on this site (you all know who you are.

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  freein89

  Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Biiiirthday tooooo youuuuuuu.
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  19

  Really hurt my feelings hope you were kidding

  by freein89 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the threads that might get locked thread.

  it was very painful to me.

  the anti american ones.

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  freein89

  Dear KGB and all who answered,

  Thank you. I guess I was being sensitive and got my feelings hurt. Perhaps it was just the day. It doesn't do a lot of good to worry too much about what others think, but it does matter to me. I feel that the political discussions here are good, its all a part of being in the world, which is a good thing-right? I am glad I said something, because it would have festered and I would not have found out what you all think, what we think. I like to believe that we have a community here and a community does not need to be free from dissent and opinion, arguments and hurt feelings happen. The good news is that I have found that I can let people know how I feel and they will care. Thats what a community is all about, banding together even if you get your toes stepped on. Rock on and you English-mind the gap. Yup I traveled London in the "tube" and found the mind the gap warnings hysterical.

  Deb crap-i got off subject again-add perhaps?