BlackWolf
Hoping that a snippet of my personal experience helps you realize, that yes, you can do this! You have lots of support here, and will find some in RL (real life) as well.
I was 18 when I had the same experience, and my mother immediately told me I had to leave at the end of the month. Mind you, six months earlier, my friend had suicided (gay pioneer), and I had been gravely ill for about six months. Thanks, Mom! (haha) I had a grade X education, and was quite frail. But, I did it! Got a job and an apartment by the end of the month. So, moving on ...
After about 7 years of those feelings of doom and guilt, I realized that I could not believe in this so-called "God of Love". The straw that broke the camel's back, was a 'shepherding call' by two elders (one was my father, and the guilt trip was heavy, but enough of that).
Know that by that time, I was married, had gotten my GED and working at Exxon, going to university part-time, with a new home and car, and a social life, had the world by the tail!
.
So, I said my last prayer to him (well, actually "it", being a fairy-tale entity as all gods are), and it was short. Maybe this will help you. "Dear Jah, you know I am a sincere person and speak with good intent. I cannot believe in these people and what they say. They are hypocrites. If I am wrong, then all I ask is a swift death when you destroy the rest of the World. I will always be a good and honest person, but I can no longer believe in YOU.. In Jesus' Christ name, Amen."
I put it behind me, and never felt guilty again, for living *my* life, for choosing to *not* believe, for being ME.
It's okay, you can do this. You came to the right place for support. I have never regretted my choice to leave the cult.
xx
Edit: I *always* forget something - if you are in school, you may want to talk to a guidance counsellor, or a teacher that you really like. When I was in junior hs (grd 7-9), I had two teachers who really tried to help me. Back then, there wasn't much they could do to stop abuse, but they *did* succeed in crushing my parents and the JWS' attempt to censor the assigned reading list, which included A Clockwork Orange by Sir Anthony Burgess - a great book! But nowadays, you may find a really supportive person to talk to, and your parents need never know! : ))