Uh oh I see you all were beginning to become concerned about me. That warms my heart. I must truly apologize for not responding sooner to all of your wonderful posts.With work and school and the superbowl (Carolina how could you?!), I was a little caught up. I was actually in the middle of the 3 page on saturday when the elders knocked on my door. Believe me, I took each one of your suggestions and used them. One elder had got caught up, so only 2 showed. So I guess they decided instead of proceeding without him, they would make it a "sheperd call" or whatever. Basically they asked all of the questions I assumed they would- why was i failing to attend meetings and service, why did i stop commenting, why did i feel it was neccessary to work and so forth. And i used all the excuses i could come up with- i was tired, i needed some kind of financial support, low self esteem, you name it. I do believe I played it off well. So well that he wants to schedule another meeting for next week. Not going to happen. We can play hide and seek for awhile until Im finally ready to completely stand up to them and once Ive considered all the consiquences of doing so.
Unfortunately i wasnt able to have a police escort at the meeting. I dont really have the..uh.. testicular fortitude to do so lol. Im still a little fearful of them I guess you could call it. Not actually of them but of what my disfellowshipping would to the relationship between my grandmother and i. I believe it would shatter it more serverely if thats possible. she and I are not the closest of kin and today she threatened to put me out the house, basicaly because i cant pay the cable bill. its a long story i prefer not to get into.
Everyone has given me such wonderful advice and be assure that i will use every opportunity to focus on my education and better myself. thatnk you all for the warm welcome and i look forward to becoming another family member of the board