Posts by thedog1

69

Your Experience with Resigning as an Elder

by committeechairman in

i'm considering resigning as an elder.

i'm not planning to fade or stop as one of jehovah's witnesses, just stop serving as an elder.. i have responsibility in the congregation and in circuit, district, rbc, etc.

and i'm completely exhausted.

thedog1

Just to add my two cents worth to all the very interesting comments here. I am in a similar situation to CC. I am thinking of stepping down, but the COBE is sort of ignoring the hints I have given him so far. I have told him that my wife has serious physical and emotional issues, on medication etc., which is true. Now he is scared to talk to her. Others have confided to us in the past that if the bros in the cong think you have any mental issues, they become wary as they don't know how to deal with it. In fact, he is giving me more things to do. He doesn't get it at all. Some in the cong, in a well-meaning way, have put down any mental strain and inability to cope as not relying on Jehovah enough and if my wife was busier in the ministry that she would feel better!

I have always felt uneasy in the elder's role as I never really thought I should be telling others what to do. Now, having read COC and In Search of Christian Freedom by Fred Franz, and still scratching my head about the new FDS and generation teachings, you can imagine things have changed a bit.

21

I'm postponing my JW elderette and her BS session again

by Faithful Witness in

i really do have more important things to do this week, so i am postponing my elderette again.

she has not yet contacted me for her "topic of discussion" for the week.

i know she wants time to prepare her speech and presentation.

thedog1

I suppose you could define an elderette as a sister in the congregation who has delusions of power. She wants to be an elder! She is often married to an elder so she basks in his reflected glory.

About the now infamous 'following directions no matter how crazy', I am an elder and I wouldn't do it if it didn't make sense to me. Don't know how long I am going to stay one though.

30

Anyone been watchtower conductor

by Saltheart Foamfollower in

jw
friends

i think there is a good chance i'm going to be asked to be the watchtower conductor.

on the one hand, i'll find it quite difficult some weeks having to go along with what is written.

on the other hand, there'll be opportunities to ask controversial questions (within limits).

thedog1

I am a wt study conductor. I had to fake an excuse to not take the wt this weekend as I could not support the mad generation teaching. Not sure what will happen from here on in. Am very close to resigning.

15

Change of mindset.

by thedog1 in

jw
friends

i have been a witness for a long time and still serve as an elder.

there have been a lot of changes to deal with in the last six months or so since i stumbled on this site due to questions i had about all the recent changes in understanding published in the wt.

many posters here talk about a cult personality and a real personality.

thedog1

I have been a Witness for a long time and still serve as an elder. There have been a lot of changes to deal with in the last six months or so since I stumbled on this site due to questions I had about all the recent changes in understanding published in the WT. Many posters here talk about a cult personality and a real personality. I'm not sure if I agree with that 100% but I can see now a predominant attitude that takes hold of your mind as a Witness. It has the effect of creating a 'them and us' viewpoint. So for the last 30 years plus I have kept those who are non-Witnesses at arms-length, physically, emotionally and psychologically.

But I have been involved in teaching for the last few years, and particularly in the last two years, through my work, I have met some wonderful young people, both young teenagers and university students. This has had the effect of breaking down some of the walls I have put up for many years, and caused me to think of long-forgotten ideals and dreams I had. Their youthful outlook on things has refreshed my jaded thinking. As humans, we crave knowledge and new things, and at the KH I'm afraid it is the same thing all over again.

28

Strong, odd and weird opinions on my brothers anniversary

by usualusername in

today my brother a non witness gave me a phone call.. .

he spoke about this, that and the other.

he then said that my oldest brother (an elder) was having his 25th wedding anniversary.

thedog1

The elder referred to by one poster who told the DF'd person to leave was way out of line. I live in a pretty conservative country in Europe as far as JWs are concerned and the advice given to elders by the org here is that if they go to a wedding and a DF'd person comes to the meal, that the elders themselves should leave.

31

the circuit assembly

by thedog1 in

i am off to the circuit assembly tomorrow.

not really looking forward to it as it is the first one i will go to after finding out many things on this forum.

since the last assembly i have read coc, in search of christian freedom, and some of the gentile times reconsidered.

thedog1

I did find myself at the sessions sort of standing outside it all as my overall view of it has changed from mostly accepting of the premise to being a bit uneasy with it all. A tough experience as the bros and sis are individually very nice people in the main, sincere, even if misguided, and willing to make huge sacrifices of time and energy. As many here have noted, this is in contrast to the actual beliefs we have had to deal with in the last few months/years. It seems to me that responding to the principles recorded in the bible creates more moral, caring people if they truly apply those principles in their lives. But the downside is the need to accept doctrine and beliefs that have no basis in scripture.

31

the circuit assembly

by thedog1 in

i am off to the circuit assembly tomorrow.

not really looking forward to it as it is the first one i will go to after finding out many things on this forum.

since the last assembly i have read coc, in search of christian freedom, and some of the gentile times reconsidered.

thedog1

Thank you for your kind comments. We are trying to work through this. My wife is such a talented person. A wonderful cook with a flair for inventing or adapting recipes. She is also a gifted seamstress who once thought of opening her own business handcrafting clothes. Now that we are in our 50's she has narrowed her life down to the house and garden and some outings for the meetings and some social outlets as her social phobia is quite severe. I try to validate all her other talents as she cannot get that validation from the ministry anymore. Thanks again for your expression of solidarity and human feeling.

31

the circuit assembly

by thedog1 in

i am off to the circuit assembly tomorrow.

not really looking forward to it as it is the first one i will go to after finding out many things on this forum.

since the last assembly i have read coc, in search of christian freedom, and some of the gentile times reconsidered.

thedog1

Xanthippe, I don't know if she is seeing what is really going on , but she does now see that too much is expected of some people who just can't do it. She was always more dedicated than me. She has a stronger faith. She really believes it is the truth but sees some of the holes. But she is SO guilty about the ministry as she gets physically sick if she tries to go. I have told her recently that all bets are off and it doesn't matter what the fallout is, that she does not need to feel she has to even try to go out if she is feeling ill. We conduct a bible study together so this keeps her going at the moment. But in the end, if it means my resigning as an elder to allow her to continue to feel sane, then I would do it tomorrow. The 'position' means nothing to me if it causes her more pain due to some 'expectations' of what an elder's wife should be doing.

31

the circuit assembly

by thedog1 in

i am off to the circuit assembly tomorrow.

not really looking forward to it as it is the first one i will go to after finding out many things on this forum.

since the last assembly i have read coc, in search of christian freedom, and some of the gentile times reconsidered.

thedog1

As has been mentioned on another thread about this circuit assembly, reference was made to a brother quoted in a WT article quite a few years ago about the danger of pride, who recounted how, whenever he thought he was feeling a bit proud of his own accomplishments, took himself off into a corner and told himself that he was only an insignificant speck of dust and shouldn't be exalting himself. Of course, for those who believe in a creator, then we are pretty insignificant in comparison. But in general I disagree with the idea of denigrating ourselves too much. There is a verse in the book of Romans, I think, which tells us 'not to think more of ourselves than it is necessary to think, but to think so as to have a sound mind.' We need to have a measure of self-confidence. I know witnesses who took that brother's comments, and if they were a natural depressive, would feel even worse about themselves. So we need to celebrate what we are good at. Sometimes we witnesses get down on ourselves too much. Must be all that guilt kicking in!

31

the circuit assembly

by thedog1 in

i am off to the circuit assembly tomorrow.

not really looking forward to it as it is the first one i will go to after finding out many things on this forum.

since the last assembly i have read coc, in search of christian freedom, and some of the gentile times reconsidered.

thedog1

Xanthippe, sorry to hear that obeying the pioneering push ruined your health. It contributed to many of my wife's problems as she pioneered for seven years and itmade her crack psychologically. She thought it was something she should do and as a very shy person, pushed herself until she could no longer do it. Now she has a huge social phobia and cannot go door-to-door. She lays the blame squarely on her attempts to live up the standards she thought she should follow.