Ghost: I sympathyse with you and it is ahorible thing to be fgriiled about things one has done and is embarrassing to talk about and we feel its no ones buisness and something atht will be held against us perpetiually.I would have the done the same thing you did. IM not going to tell others about my sexual actions and details. But if you want to be part of the WT, those are the rules.
But do not be fooled by the appearnce of an elder that seemms to be the nice elders. They are all in cahoots for the most part, one plays the role role of the good elder and an othe rthe role of the stern elder. Do not be fooled by appearances.
In JC, the elders are looking for EVIDENCE. Either self incrimination or other AND to establisg the specific sin that tou are going to be founf guilty of AND to determine if you are repentant.
They will discuss their feelings this among themselves and mot with you. Do not thinks that you can detect their feelingsby the way they appear to you.