Posts by Odrade

25

Finally sent that letter, but not to mom...

by Odrade in

no not that letter.. so we hobbled along with the family relationship.

my parents (super-devout, highly involved and connected in jw-land,) spoke with me occasionally with that sad mopey voice.

at one point about 6 years ago, my mom quit speaking to me.

Odrade

Hey Aude! Good to see you too!

likeabird, every word you wrote... it's like looking in a mirror.

My counselor had kind words to say about my decision to write this letter. She said it was a very adult way to behave, and pointed out that our relationship has never been allowed to develop into one where everybody gets to be adults.

I think I learned the thing about guilt from dog training. Uniquely human emotion too. I've been thinking a lot about guilt lately, I'm beginning to suspect that a lot of my nightmares are tied into that emotion. Have you ever tried dream journaling? The counselor suggested I start that.

25

Finally sent that letter, but not to mom...

by Odrade in

no not that letter.. so we hobbled along with the family relationship.

my parents (super-devout, highly involved and connected in jw-land,) spoke with me occasionally with that sad mopey voice.

at one point about 6 years ago, my mom quit speaking to me.

Odrade

fiddler, I'm so sorry. I think in some ways, this push-pull thing they do where they don't fully shun us, but never fully engage either, is more painful than being cut off outright.

I understand the guilt, I really do. For years I have felt like, as long as he is trying to maintain a relationship, I should leave the door open. But I just couldn't do it anymore. It occured to me that in 12 years, he never really listened, never asked, never considered that I had reasons... that's no kind of relationship.

It was good of you to be there, even if you couldn't see him.

smiddy, I can think of several people who suicided because of being shunned by their families. It's heinous.

25

Finally sent that letter, but not to mom...

by Odrade in

no not that letter.. so we hobbled along with the family relationship.

my parents (super-devout, highly involved and connected in jw-land,) spoke with me occasionally with that sad mopey voice.

at one point about 6 years ago, my mom quit speaking to me.

Odrade

Thanks again, folks, for the support.

One part of the letter that I redacted was that I acknowleged that he was a good father who made some poor choices. The religion was bad choice número uno. He also was a harsh disciplinarian who took corporal punishment way too far, and for way too long.

In every other respect he was involved and interested, as a father should be. If you take away the damage wrought by religion, I believe that not only does he genuinely like me as a person, but might even respect me - as much as somebody completely hostage to institutional sexism can ever respect a woman anyways.

Of course, WT wrecks everything.

It would be so much easier if I could just call him a villain, hate him, and be done with it.

I really do love them. I just can't have contact, it's too painful.

This was the right action for me, at the right time. Maybe that resonates with some people here.

3

AREN'T BOOKS really a perfect GIFT for seasonal giving for opening fence-sitting JW minds?

by Terry in

jw
friends

i spent about 6 years working at half price books.. i know people who are readers are passionate about reading.. the choice of what to read is personal.. _____________.

when i've been given a book as a gift--i take it as a personal gift.

kinds of gifts (i.e.

Odrade

Half-Price Books? *squeeeeeeee*

Many of my hard-earned shiny gold rocks have ended up there. I was so sad when the CapHill Seattle location closed.

25

Finally sent that letter, but not to mom...

by Odrade in

no not that letter.. so we hobbled along with the family relationship.

my parents (super-devout, highly involved and connected in jw-land,) spoke with me occasionally with that sad mopey voice.

at one point about 6 years ago, my mom quit speaking to me.

Odrade

Thanks flipper, that must be a nightmare. Whatever else went down in our house growing up, I can't imagine my father behaving like this, especially toward my mother. He at least tries for consistency, and he's quite a rule-follower. One of the sad things is how my brother is still trying to win his approval, and he just blows so hot and cold. I don't know.

It becomes impossible to separate the things they do because of who they are, and the things they do because of what Watchtower has made them. It's tragic.

25

Finally sent that letter, but not to mom...

by Odrade in

no not that letter.. so we hobbled along with the family relationship.

my parents (super-devout, highly involved and connected in jw-land,) spoke with me occasionally with that sad mopey voice.

at one point about 6 years ago, my mom quit speaking to me.

Odrade

Sometimes I wonder if most "bravery" is just self-preservation turned into action.

25

Finally sent that letter, but not to mom...

by Odrade in

no not that letter.. so we hobbled along with the family relationship.

my parents (super-devout, highly involved and connected in jw-land,) spoke with me occasionally with that sad mopey voice.

at one point about 6 years ago, my mom quit speaking to me.

Odrade

Ha, Giordano! True!

I spent yesterday afternoon helping my Mother-in-law pick out a tablet at Costco, then setting it up for her with WT library, some app called JW Language (? wtf it's like the cult version of Rosetta Stone?) and bookmarks to take her straight to JW TV and JW.org. Then explained to her how she can only download the apps that say "Jehovah's Witnesses Official," so she wouldn't get into Apostatrouble. LOL, I felt like I needed a shower, some bourbon, or both.

I don't know, it's different with the mother-in-law. She's just as involved but somehow not as hardcore. She knows exactly where we stand, but still treats us like family, so if she needs a JW-ified Galaxy Tablet, then okay.

25

Finally sent that letter, but not to mom...

by Odrade in

no not that letter.. so we hobbled along with the family relationship.

my parents (super-devout, highly involved and connected in jw-land,) spoke with me occasionally with that sad mopey voice.

at one point about 6 years ago, my mom quit speaking to me.

Odrade

Thanks AlphaMan, I'm sorry too. The organization really leaves a mess in their wake.

On the chance anyone is interested, this is the blog I mention in the email. I've been posting stuff about family dysfunction, the JWs, and similar, for the last 2-3 months, but it's a pretty general topic personal blog. Posts are more or less tagged.

72

When Was Jerusalem Destroyed By The Babylonians?

by Smart in

can someone explain in easy to understand language what this argument is all about.

i am not that clever.

i am hoping to talk to the elders about this as well as whoever is willing to talk about it on here.

Odrade

I'd thought they were sidling away from 1914 being significant. Wasn't there "new light" about 1914 sometime this summer? (or was it last? Time flies when you DGAF.)

25

Finally sent that letter, but not to mom...

by Odrade in

no not that letter.. so we hobbled along with the family relationship.

my parents (super-devout, highly involved and connected in jw-land,) spoke with me occasionally with that sad mopey voice.

at one point about 6 years ago, my mom quit speaking to me.

Odrade

Thanks Blondie. Nice to see some familiar faces around here. :)