Somebody has a big chip on their shoulder. In the example of the coffe, I would want to be asked how I like my coffee. It's not rocket science. Ask people what they want just as you would want to be asked. C'mon Viv. You can do it!
Please do not pretend to falsely know things about me you cannot possibly know. Please do not pretend falsely what you said is the golden rule. It is not. If anything, it most closely aligns to what I said early on. If you're going to support my position, as least realize you're doing it.
It's not rocket science.