Hi vinman..you say your ' soul ' craves a relationship with jehovah and jesus. Are you able to define what your soul is ?
Do you agree that your perception of your soul is as a result of your brain function?
Do you accept the workings of the human brain can include delusion?
Do you accept that you may strongly disagree or judge as deluded people who crave relationships with other deities opposed to jehovah?
Can you consider the possibility that the same brain processes ( although differing conclusions ) can result in irrational belief. The precedents set in human history bear out the absurdity in supernatural belief despite the fact that
all would have believed with all their heart and soul.
My advice would be seek evidence and understanding for the things that bring you wonder and awe and appreciate it without the help of supernatural myth and superstition.
Best wishes.