Posts by gambit

19

Any Advice - Afteraffects of taking the Reality Pill

by dobby in

jw
friends

i have been posting on this board on and off for about two years now.

it has been a tremendous help to me to read other people's experiences, to laugh, cry and just plain identify.

however, something weird is going on with me in the last six months and i am totally freaked out.

gambit

Dobby,I have been reading a very good, simple book, written by an eastern philosopher, that may help you with some of your thoughts... and help convert them to feelings and emotions... The name of the book is "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron. Considering the topics in the book, it is "light on the brain" reading, IMO. Some of the chapters that come to mind are "Hopelessness and Death" and "Curious about existence".

Her book starts with the statement "Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth"... (I read that as personal truth, not the troof).
This statement finally explained to me the real meaning behind the saying "Face your fears".

Also, Dobby, IMHO, based upon your tuned intuition and empathy, you may simply be greiving and for one of the first times in your life you are beginning to become empathetic to yourself... you have had quite a number of losses in the past year or two... start a list... you'll be amazed when you sit quiet and start thinking "How you used to fill your time".... all those "used to's" are losses, whether they were constructive or destructive, and they still require greiving (or atleast acknowledgement and understanding)... I still find it difficult to realize the need to grieve the loss of a destructive trait or behavior, but, at one time it was a means of survival. Deciding that you want to "thrive" in life instead of "survive" in life is a serious, committed decision and it's a bumpier road, for sure.

But how will I face this with courage?

You already are ! Think of all the wonderful distractions (religion, alcohol, rage, self-pity, ...) you could put in your life, eliminating the need for the courage you are showing by facing exactly where you are...

Also, as blackout said -

Letting go of being a dub, to a certain extent means letting go of having to always be in controll and controlled.

This is so true...

gambit ** of the journaling class of healers **

23

(Warning, rant enclosed) I feel like my brain is turning to mush.....

by razorMind in

jw
friends

i'm sick of my job, sick of the city i'm living in, sick of most of the people who surround me daily.

like a lot of folks here, i was "encouraged to find education within jah's service" discouraged from seeking further education whilst being raised in the troof.

were it up to my father, i probably wouldn't have been permitted to attend regular public school, grades k through 12, much less college---education was that much maligned in my family.

gambit

RazorMind -- Congratulations !

Don't give up. Your story is very familiar and you can overcome it and grow.

I got out at 18, had my 1st child @ 21, 2nd @ 23, 3rd @ 26... Finally got to go back to school @ 32... Took 10 years of nights to get my degree only to figure out that I missed all kinds of stuff that I wanted learn about. Your outlook is sooo cool. There is tons and tons to learn about and the more you study and learn and open your mind, the more you find to follow up on... it's really addictive.

I can feel your misery, thinking of walking into a campus to sign up... it took me 3 or 4 times before I could actually stand in line with the "kids"... I was a nervous wreck, embarrassed, and not part of the generation... I soon found out that all those fears, although real at the time, where inside most the "kids" AND the unique perspective you will bring to a classroom due to maturity will bring you a lot of laughter and good younger friends (as well as few that are considered "old", on campus that means over 25-28).

I ended up getting a lot of my degree through correspondence... I had my credits accumulated through Charter Oak State College in Connecticut. They work with students all over the country and allow you all sorts of flexibilities in your studies. The other college that has a lot to offer, though I didn't use them, is Arizona State. They also do a lot of on-line teaching. Maybe these ideas will help you while the baby is younger...

Best of Luck... gambit

48

How Does Your Internet Persona Differ From....

by Frannie Banannie in

jw
friends

how does your internet persona differ from your face-to-face personality?

do you interact with people differently on the internet than you would face to face?

yes...i know.....the second and third questions are a re-phrasing of the first...that's in case someone doesn't "get the drift" of the first question.... frannie b

gambit

I don't know... I keep asking myself the same ol questions...

"Who am I?" , "What am I doing here?", "What's the meaning of this?", "Am I boring everyone?", "Why me?", "God, what do I say to that?", "OMG...",

Although I will say that on-line I can smile and clap and cry and yell and get pissed off and slam the keyboard and then think long enough to actually reply (sometimes) without feeling overwhelmed (and nobody knows but me). So, it's safer... yeah, i guess my persona online does differ... I know why but I couldn't begin to tell you how .

21

CHESS Anyone?

by Francois in

jw
friends

.

anyone here like to play a little postal chess using good ol' email?.

francois

gambit

lol@obiwan...

I can annotate using old-style or new-style conventions... such as 1) P-Q4, P-Q4 2) N-KB3, Q-B3 or 1) E2-E4, E7-E5, B1-C3, D1-F3...

Important thing is consistency... If you have a board with the new-style numbers, set it up so White is along row 1/2 and Black is along row 7/8...

If we use PM, just keep a running list so the whole game could theoretically be played out from the beginning each move... I'm not to sure I like the thread idea, but it might help to play the 1st few moves that way, just to get the players on the same page and hear all the antics of the checkers players... (I was kidding about the exciting play by play analysis)...

21

CHESS Anyone?

by Francois in

jw
friends

.

anyone here like to play a little postal chess using good ol' email?.

francois

gambit

Good to go... Keeps us posted with play by play analysis...

74

Which songs do you members over 40...and then members under 40

by berylblue in

which songs do all of you over 40 feel are must-listens for those of every age?

conversely, i really would like to know what the younger ones here think are the must -hear songs for every generation.

without my daughters in my life, i don't get to hear the better offerings of the new artists.

gambit

How bout some of the less well known tunes...

Armaggedon - Tight Rope

All About Eve - Never Promise, Gypsy Dance ...

Network - Halfway to paradise (This song was done by a number of bands, but I like this one the best) and Beautiful Lady

Steely Dan - Babylon Sisters

Electronic Music of the 70's

Happy the Man - Crafty Hands

Holst - The Planets

Walter Murphy - Fifth of Beethoven

Walter / Wendy Carlos - This man turned woman was WAY ahead of his time... saw him perform in Disneyworld in 1977/78.

And back to well known tunes...

Iron Butterfly - In a Gadda Davida (?sp)

Who - Pinball Wizard also brings back great memories

Greatful Dead - Midnight Trucker

Jefferson Airplane - White Rabbit

Nazareth - Hair of the Dog

and the two most brilliant artists of the 80's+ -- Choose virtually any of their songs

Sting and Phil Collins

21

CHESS Anyone?

by Francois in

jw
friends

.

anyone here like to play a little postal chess using good ol' email?.

francois

gambit

I play all the time.... http://www.atlanticchess.com

Its a great sight for correspondence style chess site... It lets you set the timer for as many days as you want between moves.
Take a look at it, if you want to try it, send me a PM and I'll send you my handle...

67

Your favorite artists?

by berylblue in

jw
friends

okay...my evil reactionary brother in law is one of my faves.... .

this talented bastard won every award when he was at the pa academy of fine arts.

i love his work.

gambit

I have no defense... It is true that Kinkade is not in the same category as Giger, Escher, and all the other great artists listed.
I feel like I made the mistake of calling a "cover band" musicians, or closer yet, calling Andrew Lloyd Webber a composer...

But why would I want to let personalities, business, society, and superb knowledge of a subject override my senses... I dont.

I'm out of my league in this thread... I will sit back and enjoy the show.

67

Your favorite artists?

by berylblue in

jw
friends

okay...my evil reactionary brother in law is one of my faves.... .

this talented bastard won every award when he was at the pa academy of fine arts.

i love his work.

gambit

joannadandy - Dale Chihuly is fabulous. I don't know anything about him, other than seeing one of his pieces in the symphony building in Hartford. Once you've seen his work, it is unmistakable.

Aztec - *Just waiting for someone is going to claim Thomas Kinkade is an artiste! LOL!*

Thomas Kinkade is an artiste in my book... I've have also read some of his writings, and will confess that early in the healing process it was a blessing of a find. I spent quite a few hours looking at the different ways he portrays light (as well as paints it)... If I had half the aristic talent this man has, I would probably attempt to make a living with it also...

34

Confusing Good Sex as Love

by Robdar in

i will go for weeks, months, sometimes a year without sex.

then, if conditions are right and i am particulary attracted to a man, i will bed him.

if the lovin' is good, i might bed him again.

gambit

1. Eros---love of beauty. The lovers delight in the sensual, the immediate. They love the lines of each others bodies and are fascinated by each other.
2. Mania--obsessive love. For these lovers, satisfaction from love lasts only a few moments before the feelings must be renewed. They will lose sleep and not be able to stop thinking about the object of their affection.
3. Ludis--Playful love. Love is a game, something to play at rather than become too deeply involved in. Love is for fun, casual and often careless, nothing serious.
4. Storge--natural affection or love between companions. It usually starts in friendship and develops into something deeper.
5. Agape--brotherly love. It is abstract and ideal.
6. Pragma--Lovers are business like in looking for someone who meets their needs.

Robdar -- Again, you don't sound confused at all...

I have never seen this list, and I would have to say that I have never had sex where atleast one of these forms of love was not present...

Or a mix of Ludis / Pragma (Casual and Fun, yet careful and restrained, filling some loneliness)...
or Storge / Mania ( where the "friend" becomes jealous)
or Eros / Agape (Young love, yet both partners mature)

Confusing Good Sex as Love

Good Sex requires love... which one and how deep is the question in my mind.