Why people join cults
“Cults form and thrive,” says Deikman, “not because people are crazy, but because they have two kinds of wishes. They want a meaningful life, to serve God or humanity; and they want to be taken care of, to feel protected and secure, to find a home. The first motives may be laudable and constructive, but the latter exert a corrupting effect, enabling cult leaders to elicit behaviour directly opposite to the idealistic vision with which members entered the group.
But cults, because they only serve the leader, exploit and pervert that useful habit and, to establish and maintain itself, does everything possible to destroy family ties, and any other secure and conventional anchor in a person's life. This has the effect of strengthening a member's bond with the cult and its leader. From this viewpoint, the cults that promote celibacy and the cults that encourage indulgence in sexual promiscuity are seeking the same ends — the destruction of normal family life and the substitution of dependence on the cult group authority. Although ordinary institutions in our society do not yet directly seek to destroy family ties, 'nanny state' interference may be having a similar effect.
This is so true. This is why you should make an effort to be that protector. Forcing her to question her belief is not going to portrait you as the protector. You are an advantage point if your kids are with you. It is hard to stand watch and do nothing while they rape her brain silly with impunity. But this is the only approach that works. I did not want to believe it myself at the beginning and it was worst for me because my kids are small and they do not know any better. You have your kids on your side. That is pretty powerful.
Give her the freedom she craves. They won't.. guaranteed. And the day that becomes evident, she will be as mad with them as she is with you now... But when that day comes, she will weight everything and you need to make sure that day she will put you in the right side of the scale. If you keep up the pressure, she will throw you in the same plate as the watchtower.