Any one else deal with this?

by Momofmany 31 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Momofmany

  I was talking with my older two boys. They were really glad we stopped going to the kh and being practicing jw. They went on and told me about things they thought. My #2 son said, "Mom, I remember thinking I need to kill all of my friends. They were good kids, and I really liked them. They were going to die at Armageddon, and I wanted them with me in paradise. So the only way I could see it happening, is for them to die now, so they could be resurrected."

  #1 son told me, "Yea, I thought I should kill myself. I would never make it thru, so I needed to die so I could be resurrected. I heard them talking (those in the hall), and was worried you would not make it either, and I was hoping you would kill yourself too. That way we could be in paradise together."

  Then they both told me they were glad we left before they did anything stupid like that. It was hard to hear the boys talk like that. While they do not feel that way anymore, I feel as though I need to do something to help them. They told me that it has been years since they felt like that, but should I do anything, or just let them talk? Has anyone else ever gone thru something like that with their children, or themselves?
• 

  Hellrider

  or themselves

  Yes. When I was a child, I used to think like that. But I realised pretty early on, that it was wrong. I don`t know why it is that some children have the ability to "see thru" the bullshit, and see that something is wrong/unethical, that it couldn`t possibly be so, that God would kill all the children of the earth, along with their parents (no matter how wicked their parents were). Some kids realise that it is wrong, others don`t, and this has caused me to believe that perhaps integrity is something we are born with, or that some are born with a potential for "stronger integrity" than others. Some are able to see thru the bs no matter how much the adults try to brainwash them. Anyway, it`s good that you talk with your children about these things, explain to them that you were wrong, and that you are sorry. Rip all that brainwash out of them.
• 

  AuldSoul

  I used to think the same thing.
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  searching4?

  Hi,

  I'm sorry that your boys felt this way, but I don't understand why they felt that killing and commiting suicide was the answer. I don't know how long you were a witness, but I was raised from birtth as a witness( disfellowshipped now for 13 years), and the witnesses teach that if you take your own life, which was a gift from God, you will not be ressurected. Further, if your son felt that his friends would not survive armeggedon, why would he think they would be ressurected if they were killed? It's unfortunate that they had these awful thoughts and feelings, and I think they would greatly benefit from counseling. It sounds like they did not have a full understanding of the teachings of the witnesses, or were confused. What do you think?

  Jody
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  AlmostAtheist

  That makes perfect logical sense. Death is a free ride thru armageddon. If you let your loved ones live, you're not really giving them as good of a chance to enjoy paradise.

  should I do anything, or just let them talk?

  You're through it now. Normally suicide/homicide thoughts would be considered signs of mental illness, but so would shunning your parents/children. They were being fed false information and were coming to bad conclusions based on it. It sounds like now that they are out from under the bad influence, they recognize the fallacy. I don't think you need to do anything but listen.

  While not planning to kill them, I often considered how much better it would be if my parents would die before Armageddon...

  Dave
• 

  RunningMan

  It is an extremely warped piece of logic that leads Witnesses to believe that unbelievers who die will enter the new system through the resurrection, whereas unbelievers to live to armageddon will be destroyed. Yet, if you follow the threads of their teachings, you will come to this twisted conclusion. To me, this indicates a fundamental error in their opening assumptions.
  
  Anyway, in my mother's congregation, there is a brother with bi-polar disorder. He struggles with many things, including feelings of being unworthy. He has been heard to comment that it may be easier to take the "underground route" to the new system - meaning suicide. What's even scarier, is that he has a wife and two kids.
• 

  Balsam

  Momofmany,

  My son's said the same thing about suicide to me. It happen after my middle son (their brother) was killed in an auto accident. My sons felt responsible for his death though it was not their fault, and they told me they were not going to make it into the new system unless they died before armeggeddon. My oldest son was suicidal for over a year. I left the witnesses and as I learned I shared it with my oldest and youngest sons. It aided them both to leave that failure mentality that my ex and I had raised them in. To tell the truth I believe many young people feel the only way to cope with the religion and the thought God is going to destroy everyone in the world except JW's is to die before hand.

  My son's never spoke of taking anyone's life but their own. They did say they hoped their friends in the world would die before the end came. How can they feel any different with the way they are taught to think. I was shocked when they first told me how they really felt. They are both very very grateful I left and made a way for them to realize that the JW truth is not the truth.

  It sets them up for failure, because they never feel they can measure up to what is expected of them. Mostly they just want their freedom to make their own lives, but JW kids are not allowed to do that. The constant pressure from their parents, the congregation plus from the Society. All of us as JW's were totally stressed out from the heavy weight we carried and the sad thing about it was that it was all fabricated and made up. Nothing more than rules that men had made for us and most of it was not even supported in the bible. The bible is no longer our authority, and no religion will ever hold sway over us again.
• 

  Hellrider

  the witnesses teach that if you take your own life, which was a gift from God, you will not be ressurected

  They do? I was born and raised a witness, and I have never heard that before. That`s the same thing the catholics teach. Could you provide a source for that? WT-article?

  Further, if your son felt that his friends would not survive armeggedon, why would he think they would be ressurected if they were killed?

  Basically, all who die before Armageddon will be ressurected for their second chance in the 1000-year reign. This teaching is a bit problematic though, and many JWs start to stutter if you ask them "does that mean Hitler, Eichman, Goebbels, Stalin, Pol Pot etc etc will be ressurected?" Usually they answer "uhhh ... yes", and according to JW-doctrine, they`re right. All who die before A will be ressurected (unless there is some "new light" that I am not aware of).
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  carla

  I thought I read a case in WI where two brothers did kill themselves so they could make it into the 'new system'.
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  Momofmany

  I don't understand why they felt that killing and commiting suicide was the answer. I don't know how long you were a witness, but I was raised from birtth as a witness

  They felt that since the wages of sin is death, you must die to make it to paradise. So if they killed their friends, their sins would be washed away, and they could make it. My mother became a witness when I was young. I stayed until I was 31. My children were being raised as witnesses. First convention my son went to, he was not quite a month old.

  It sounds like now that they are out from under the bad influence, they recognize the fallacy. I don't think you need to do anything but listen.

  Thanks. Yes, they are out from under. I will keep listening to them, and being there. Glad they can talk to me about how they felt. I'm glad we are ablt to get this out in the open.

  Nothing more than rules that men had made for us and most of it was not even supported in the bible

  Just thought that was worth repeating. :-)

  Thank you to eveyone for replying to me. I'm sorry if I brought up any bad memories.