treatment of jw's w/ubm's

carla

How are jw's treated by the cong when they have a ubm? On one hand they could hold them up as how wonderful they are for suffering such persecution but on the other hand wouldn't they be looked down upon because they couldn't even get their own spouse 'in'? If you can't even get your own spouse to believe how well could you do in service? In this case I would also include children who don't go either and never, ever will.

rebel8

You described it well. The other thing is they are considered like the bible's "widows" who were poor and in need of charity just to survive. It is a wierd sort of mix between being put on a pedestal for suffering for God and on the other hand looked down upon. JWs are admonished to make an extra effort to socialize with and encourage those with ubms, but in my case they did the opposite.

BluesBrother

Gottit ! ubm = unbelieving mate ... took time but I got there...

So what about those who live in "Divided households" .. In fact the congo's are admonished to be extra kind and helpful to women whose husband is not with the faith, because a) she will have needs , transport , moral support etc , and b) a good many 'other halves' have joined eventually and they are seen as potential members .

In practice such ones tend to be left out of congo activities and socialising because it may be harder for them to attend . A man may not be free to take on "Responsibilities" ...

RichieRich

In fact the congo's are admonished to be extra kind and helpful to women whose husband is not with the faith,

Bullshit. Take it from the me, they are more callous to those with ubms. And lets not start on how they treat their kids.

Finally-Free

Bullshit. Take it from the me, they are more callous to those with ubms. And lets not start on how they treat their kids.

This is true. Those with UBMs have a very hard time fitting into any of the JW social circles. My dad was an UBM, and the JWs were very rude to him many times. I was an adult when I became a JW, so I don't know what the kids go through, but one time I overheard an elder speaking abusively about my dad, and my dad wasn't around. I went over to him and warned him that he'd be beaten within an inch of his worthless life if he ever said anything about my dad again.

W

joanne_

depends, if you cried the blues all the time, you got lots of attention.

joanne

joanne_

what richie rich says...is the god's truth, the kids are treated very badly...makes them feel real welcome...

joanne

findingmyself

I never tried to get my husband to join the jw religion so I guess that makes me a bad witness. We were high school sweethearts we`ve been together for 6 yrs and married for 4yrs. He`s only attended 2 meetings one when we were in high school and 1 since we`ve been married the only person that has been rude to him is my jw mother. She really hates the fact that hes in the navy and that I can`t have a neutral political view if my husband is in the military. I haven`t attended a meeting in a while. Its not because my husband and I have a divided household and he`d rather me not go when I attended all of the meetings it was never a problem he would schedule a guys nite in for playing video games or watching a sporting event. But I seen one case that disturbed me I moved away from my hometown and I met this sister who had a ubm that was in the military and we hit it off. Well she was the type that liked to stay involved in the congregation with the youth . She wanted to have a tea party and the elders told her if her husband was gonna be at home it wouldn`t be a good idea and she was so hurt. Her kids were really looking forward to it and she had to call the whole thing off. Why would jw`s think that it would be easy for a jw wife to get her ubm to join the wbts or even attend the meetings if they treat them like ex-cons? Better than ex-cons if that ex-con studys or get baptized. My jw mother woudn`t allow my brother to visit me because of my husband he has no criminal record and is the nicest person I`ve ever met but its a ex-con who actually got out of jail a couple mothns before she started studying. she wasn`t even a jw my brother spent weekends with a known ex-drug pusher and not only her, another person in that congregations husband had been in prison for a number of crimes including attempted murder my 16 yr old brother was spending the nite over there with him a month after he got baptized. These events have caused me to seriously reevaluate my life. I was raised in this religiou since I was 4. But I have so many questions that I should know the answer to and so there are just so many things that I think are wrong.

jgnat

Well, my JW hubby went off and married me without the elder's permission. They like to say it's "his decision", but believe me, they made it clear his eternal life was at stake. Then, whenever he went for help, they told him it was "his decision" and he'd just have to take his lumps.

Believe me, the contrast between the supposed pastoral care the elders provided to my husband, compared to what I have received at my church, you'd think we lived in different worlds.

carla

"lived in different worlds", and so you do. I started a thread with your name on it by the way. Do you have time to answer?

treatment of jw's w/ubm's

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