Somebody mentioned the "secret" pioneer school book the other day, prompting me to go find mine. I started flipping through it, reading over my notes. Some of them were so striking, I thought I would share them with you. These are things the instructors or other students said or thoughts that struck me during class that I jotted down in the margins of the book. (The book itself is sort of dry, mostly questions for discussion.)
"There is nothing repellant about Jehovah. If I'm not attracted to him, it's my fault. He is appealing to all." -- Wow, listen to that. Of course "Jehovah" here means by extension the Watchtower. So if there's anything I don't like, it's *my* fault. Nice.
"Pray to keep a good frame of mind during a dull talk. After all, a dull talk is better than none."
Under the chapter "Living in Full Recognition of Jehovah's Sovereignty", the 4th paragraph reads: "Each one will do well to examine himself in this matter. You can ask yourself: 1) "Am I fully subjecting myself to Jehovah and to his spirit-directed congregation?" 2) Am I really submisisve in everything so as not to be directing my own steps? 3) Am I living my entire life in full recognition of Jehovah's Sovereignty? 4) Am I loyally attached to Jehovah, to his congregation, and to my Christian brothers and sisters? 5) Am I really setting a fine example for others to imitate? -- I love that the very first item highlights obeying the FDS, and in case you forgot it, they say it again in point 4. And of course, in case there's something you might want to do that isn't expressly forbidden, there's point 5. Sure you're obeying the law, but are you "exemplary"?
"What kind of new world would it be if everyone got there easily?" -- I love this warped reasoning.
From the book: "Are your activities as full as those of Jesus as stated at mark 6:31?" Then I wrote next to it: No "leisure time" to eat. Hardly "leisure", but not even time for that. -- Correct me if I'm wrong, but Jesus only had to keep up that pace for 3 years, right? And he knew when it would end. That's very different than keeping up that sprinters' pace essentially forever.
These two comments are RIGHT NEXT to each other. See if you can spot the amazing irony. "Worldly people do not think for themselves" -- and -- "Help Bible students develop a theocratic library"
The Bereans have always been a sore spot for the Watchtower. Here's a biblical example of folks that didn't take the Christians' word for it, but made them prove it. I've heard this variously explained away, but the lamest answer yet is here in my notes: "Bereans were practical in checking Bible so they could share it with others." -- Oh I see. So they weren't CHECKING anything, they were just making sure that they had the references right so they could SHARE it later. Ok.
I LOVE This one, but it makes me sort of sad, too. I wrote at the top of page 108, "Why was there an increase in memorial partakers between '80 and '81 and '73 and '74?" I had intended to make the comment that we could see the numbers steadily decreasing over time, but when I looked up the numbers in the yearbooks, they didn't go down much at all, and in some years they went UP! Unfortunately, I don't have any notes on wny reason given, maybe I didn't even ask the question. Argh! I wish I'd caught this in 1989 instead of 200-freaking-4!
They constantly play up the elitism aspect of pioneer school. Here's a good note that's typical of what you hear during your two weeks: "Why not let everybody go to Pioneer School? Because not all would appreciate it. Actually, all one needs to do is pioneer for a year." -- So those that fail to pioneer for a year just don't appreciate it, but I do, so I get to go. :-P
"Do not say you don't like field service. Instead pray to Jehovah for joy in service." -- again, if I don't like it, it's my fault. I'm not praying enough.
On page 150, the book lists scores of jobs that the Society felt would be appropriate for a pioneer. Let me share some of my favorites:
Painting Farm Mailboxes
Cleaning Telephone Booths
Digging Graves
Cleaning Rest Rooms in Gas Stations
Making Plant Terrariums
Cutting Pulpwood
"Don't forget to mention sins in your prayers that you are not aware of." -- Yes, of course, don't let yourself believe you already feel guilty enough. Don't forget that on top of everything else, you ALSO have sins you don't know about. (I wonder if it would be appropriate to undergo hypnosis to find out what they are, so you can confess them to the elders?)
Hee, Hee. On page 225, under the topic "Your Goals as a Pioneer", one item is to be "Freely forgiving and overlooking the shortcomings of others. (Col. 3:13)". My notes on this say "Freely forgiving -- without cost. Don't rake 'em over the coals or anything, forgive FREELY." -- I see, so I should follow the example of the Faithful and Discreet Slave? I should "forgive" by refusing to speak to the sinner for '6 months, a year, or even longer', then have limited contact for a year or so, then allow them to have mostly complete contact with only certain limits for another year or two, then finally forgive? Ok, gotcha.
Finally, in the section on preaching to those that don't believe in a god, there is this gem:
"Note some questions that evolutionary ideas have left unaswered:
1) Why do we not see living things evolving from one kind to another now? -- (Because it doesn't work that way, and you know it doesn't work that way, you disengenuous batch of liars)2) Why do animals and plants reproduce only according to their kind? -- (How is this an "unanswered question" for evolution? Did I really believe evolutionists just "missed this one"?)3) How could life come from something without life? -- I don't know, that's a good question. But let's not ask an evolutionist, since evolution doesn't attempt to address that question.
Ah, what fun this has been. I hope you were able to enjoy it half as much as I enjoyed writing it. What an interesting experience to see my cultish thinking frozen in time like this. wild.
BTW, if anyone wants to see my "secret" book, I can let you see it. But I'm not allowed to lend it to you. Maybe we can work out in service together and you can look at it while I'm at the doors?
Dave