Well defd, you're always welcome to look me up if you come to MI. I'm a fairly normal guy that just happened to be df'd for not agreeing with some of the WTS policies/practices. I promise I don't have the Crazy Eyed Apostate look -- the one that most witnesses fear. Heck, I've already posted my picture on here several times. You've already proven that you can and are willing to converse with self-professed apostates. Is meeting someone in person really all that different?
No one(read: JW) would ever have to know that we met. My eventual df'ing came as a direct result of being on this board. So I know firsthand how important it is to most people that they remain anonymous.
Don't be shy. If someone on this board posts more than I have in my five or so years of being on here, they must have doubts of some kind -- doubts that are not being answered by the elders or the WTS. Many on here try to answer every question raised. Some feel that they have an answer for everything, right or wrong. Due to the nature of this board, spiritual at best, many questions cannot be answered since they deal with supernatural forces or events that may occur in the far future. The one thing that this board is good at though is that everyone wants to know the facts about the WTS. And even the most hardcore apostate is willing to shoot down his best friend if they misquote or misrepresent any material that is not up to snuff. So with that being said, if you came here looking for a spiritual confrontation, you probably found it hard to argue, both for and against. But if you came here looking to argue the facts surrounding the WTS, by now you've most likely found many faults that are hard to reconcile --- even though you may not want to admit it, which is fine. Many of us found it hard to drop the force field in the beginning.
My gut guess is, you will eventually leave the JW's, either mentally or physically. I say mentally, because I was mentally gone for several years before I was finally df'd. I lived a lie. I faked being a witness the best I could. I think you are already addicted to this board. You will always come here to see what the latest news is(are you really going to hear the unadulterated news from the KH?) You will always be interested in what people will have to say about you. That is somewhat true of a former poster known as You Know. He was in your shoes at one time. I would say he put up the best defense of any witness that ever visited the web boards. He posted here thousands of times. But where is he today? DF'd.
All I can say to you defd, is give it time. You may not think that you will ever leave the JW's, but now that you've been shown the rabbit hole and how far it goes, your life will change. You will start to see the meetings in a different light. You will start to hear keywords at assemblies, such as "we have a deficit of $5k friends" and realize that there is no real deficit, but in fact, a predetermined amount of money was totalled up based on the amount of people in attendance. Little things like these add up and take its toll on you. Then one day, an issue near and dear to your heart breaks open. The WTS says one thing but the bible or your conscience says another. This will be the straw that breaks your force field.
Only those that totally refrain from visiting these boards in the first place can remain true witnesses. But once the truth is made known, it is hard to turn back the clock.
