I'm so sorry hon; my parents have been through exactly the same thing. Just to let you know; if they do show some spine, it costs them dearly. I'm disfellowshipped and my witness parents came to the wedding recently, so they had a lot of guts, but they've had to move the book study away from their place. If it was me I'd be delighted (how I hated having the book study at our place... anyway) but you know what a big deal it is to have the study in your home. It's also pretty much their entire social life. Anyway my siblings have completely cut them off (I was once engaged to another non-witness and that split the family down the middle; this time around it's devastated) so they don't get to see their grandchildren because of their support for me.
I have often thought that they'd be better off with the support of their witness kids and being able to see their grandchildren, than me being the only one who calls and emails. I realise that one day they will probably write me off completely, but I suspect that will be better for all of us in the long run in that we can all live our lives the way we believe is the right way. I know and we all know here that they are thoroughly indoctrinated into thinking that's the right way to treat your rebellious children, but all we can do about it is show love back.
You did the right thing, in saying that they have to love him if they love you. My brand-new husband thinks it's hilarious that they consider this Christian Love, and their behaviour is constantly disappointing and upsetting. But that's because they're entrapped, and it's not their fault.
My siblings seemed happy with the idea that I be single forever too; obviously it's no sacrifice for them. Now they're showing our non-witness family the ugly side of The Truth, and I really hope that they're ashamed about it, but they're probably not. They're probably just angry with me for doing this to them. That will never change, and I don't care anymore. I don't want their love if it means I have to be somebody I'm not to earn it, and would despise myself for being that person.
You have grown now and have seen that the things you used to believe don't work for you any more, but your family still believe it. Just be the one to be showing love, and don't expect anything in return. One day, if we're lucky, they might realise that they were wrong all along. But until that day we have so much happiness in our lives; so don't let that other rubbish get in it's way! It may be that this is the only time we get on this planet, so you might as well get it right the first and only time....
I hope that you have great fun getting ready for your wedding and that it's a brilliant day for you! At the end of My Day I was so buzzed (in spite of my siblings boycotting; couldn't pick up the phone and send me an SMS....) that I had to start a diary to go over it all, and I remember writing down a few things that 'went wrong', but I can't even remember what they were now, and it's only a few months ago. Point is; just relax and have fun. It's a laugh, this life!
hugs to you!
