Email I received off mum

Es

Hey all, i usually pop into my folks once a week so that my son can see his grandparents. Anyway last week my dad asked if i wanted to go to a country show\fete with them on sat , so anyway a couple of days later i emailed my mum to see whether my fiance (non JW) could come too.

This is the email i received today

As you are going to be busy over the next few weeks, we dont want to put added pressure on you, dont feel you have to come to the show.Plus we have already explained the situation regarding Mike we dont have anything against him personally, but the situation is difficult for us regards associating with him as your fiance because it would be viewed as our supporting your decision to marry out of the truth. No matter how much you ignore it and Jehovah, you are baptised witness and whatever you do will reflect on that, thats why i asked you about birthdays etc. because it can affect our relationship with you. Once upon a time you would have understood the reasons, but now you dont. Please dont take offence at this. We will continue to help you whenever we can.

- mum.

GOD im so F%$^ing angry. How dare they, how condescending "once you would have understood now you dont". Plus they were happy to meet mike if he came to the convention funny how they could associate with him on that day and not care how it would be viewed.

So anyway my email back was basically maybe we should just leave associating with each other. And basically dont lie bout helping whenever you can coz its all on your terms.

Great just what i need 5 weeks before my wedding

es

thom

It's ridiculous how family tries to control everything other family members do.
I asked my father about six months ago if my daughter could stay with he and his wife for a few days as I was going out of town. He says "sure, no problem". Then I get a call a few days later saying that he had a long talk with his wife and they can't do it because I'm going to see my girlfriend and she's not a witness.
I asked him if he thinks it's wrong that I date someone who's not a JW and he says "you know it is". Then I asked him if I'm supposed to be dating witnesses and he says yes. Well, since I'm not a JW am I supposed to date JW's? Should a JW date me? (No) Then I said he's basically saying I can't date at all. His answer to that was that I should wait until I clear my head and decide what I'm going to do (meaning, come back to the JW's). He just won't accept that I'm not anymore and picks my life to pieces based on JW rules and regs.
I know I'm rambling but I think I understand what you're dealing with, and it's crap! It really makes me mad also but I think that if I plan to have any relationship with my father I have to tune this stuff out or that'll be it. Of course I'm not going to live by his (JW's) rules, but I don't know that he'll ever accept that I'm not coming back.
How he can expect me (and your family expect you) to put our lives on hold to please them is beyond me. I guess it's just their brains are so toasted with JW-think that they can't see reality right in front of them.
Yes, it makes me angry too!

candidlynuts

it just blows my mind that a 26 yr (es) and a 40 yr old (thom) have to worry about such bullshi!t.

normal families would recognize your adults and able to choose your own girlfriends/boyfriends.

hugs to you both.. its a rediculous situation.

Es

Yeah my dad last week said "you should be marrying a brother" and im like been there done that. And then its like we miss you and so i replied i come here every week why cant you just enjoy my company.

Either there has been a talk, or someone has had a talk to them it was going so well for a while

es

under74

I'm sorry Es. I agree sounds like they were talked with or to.

Just know you need to live your life and not live it for the watchtower society.

Narkissos

Sorry to hear that ((((((Es))))))

once you would have understood now you dont

Translate: you have lost Jehovah's spirit (TM), everything you may say doesn't count.

Little to answer to that unfortunately. Smile, shrug...?

Walk out onto your way, your life... Someday they may realise that this is mainly their loss.

Best wishes,

garybuss

When A Jehovah's Witness bites me, I think of this parable . . .
· A little girl was walking in the winter and saw a frozen snake by the side of the road. She took pity on it, and put it in her pocket to warm it up. After a while, the snake warmed up, and bit her in the leg. She said, "Hey, I took care of you, what did you bite me for?" And the snake said, "Well, you knew I was a snake when you picked me up, didn’t you?"

Cygnus

And some people are reluctant to call this religion a cult...

Some Witnesses show more reasonableness, but they certainly aren't taught to. Here's hoping, Es, that once you're married your folks lighten up.

dedpoet

Hi Es, so sad that you had to go through that. I agree with some of the other posters, iy definitely sounds like an outside influence has been at work here.

take care, and all the best on your big day

dedpoet

AuldSoul

So sorry, ((((es)))) Keep in mind they may have been the victims of "loving" counsel from the elders. I know you want them to have spine and be able to decide to ignore what they are told, but if they haven't up 'til now they aren't likely to. I'm having to face that same reality with my parents.

Be true to yourself. If that means being angry right now, I fully understand.

AuldSoul

Email I received off mum

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